My wife's situation.

My wife has been involved in custody issues over their child for over 2 and a half years. After going to mediation approximately 2 years ago to settle this issue they decided upon every other weekend plus one day during the off week. The father also had the choice of more time during holidays and the summer, but chose only one week extra in the summer because he said the other would be easier left as was and would be less confusing. Since this time he has been late numerous times (all documented), left the state with him without letting us know, failed to keep up his child support payments, and has paid none of the medical bills for which he is required to pay half. He is also currently on federal probation for methamphetamine. What is important to my wife is that her son be in an environment where he is wanted which is hard to believe when the father had virtually no contact with the son until he was 3 and a half years old. Recently, the father alerted us of his intention to go back to mediation to get more time with the son. Our child has done excellent in school with the current arrangement. What are his chances of gaining more time?

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Our child has done excellent in school with the current arrangement

you need to not refer to the child as "ours" before it causes your wife problems. he is the father of this child, and has every right to spend time with his child.let your wife deal with it, and you step back, and out of the equation, because legally only your wife and her ex have a say in this matter, not you

You are right that I was wrong in that choice of words but I am a part of his life too and he is a part of my family just as his step siblings are a part of his biological father's family.

I came to this site for answers to OUR situation to help my wife. If you cannot help me with that then there is no need for you to reply to my request. I am on here for help. Not some criticism to a slip of the keyboard from someone who obviously doesn't understand what "family" is all about.

[missingmyhubby]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

You are right that I was wrong in that choice of words but I am a part of his life too and he is a part of my family just as his step siblings are a part of his biological father's family.

I came to this site for answers to OUR situation to help my wife. If you cannot help me with that then there is no need for you to reply to my request. I am on here for help. Not some criticism to a slip of the keyboard from someone who obviously doesn't understand what "family" is all about.

first of all, i did not criticize you. you need to understand that matters concering the child are between the child's parents, and you, as with all stepparents, are legal strangers who cannot and should not get involved. no matter how long you have been part of the child's life, you do not have a say legally, or any legal standing to do anything.stepparents who get overly involved hurt their spouse's case, and really irritate the judge. all im saying is be careful how involved you get, because you could cause your wife to become the ncp. i have stepchildren myself, and when my husband was alive, i did not get involved when it came to legal maters concerning them, because i knew it was none of my business legally.

Originally Posted by missingmyhubby

first of all, i did not criticize you. you need to understand that matters concering the child are between the child's parents, and you, as with all stepparents, are legal strangers who cannot and should not get involved. no matter how long you have been part of the child's life, you do not have a say legally, or any legal standing to do anything.stepparents who get overly involved hurt their spouse's case, and really irritate the judge. all im saying is be careful how involved you get, because you could cause your wife to become the ncp. i have stepchildren myself, and when my husband was alive, i did not get involved when it came to legal maters concerning them, because i knew it was none of my business legally.

Thank you and I appreciate your concern and help. I am aware of my bounds so to speak and will make sure to take your advice and not become involved legally as I always have. Do you have any other advice for our situation? A new little piece of information- my stepson recently informed his mother that his dad had been asking him if he would like to spend more time with him and then was telling the child to not tell his mother that he was talking to him about this. Is this right? Wouldn't this be considered trying to turn the child in his favor and against his mother? Is communication such as this in the best interest of the child?

[annjd]

If that becomes extreme a court will intervene. You may want to see to it for now that dad is warned.

[missingmyhubby]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Thank you and I appreciate your concern and help. I am aware of my bounds so to speak and will make sure to take your advice and not become involved legally as I always have. Do you have any other advice for our situation? A new little piece of information- my stepson recently informed his mother that his dad had been asking him if he would like to spend more time with him and then was telling the child to not tell his mother that he was talking to him about this. Is this right? Wouldn't this be considered trying to turn the child in his favor and against his mother? Is communication such as this in the best interest of the child?

it would help if you would stop refferring to this as "our" situation. this is your wife's situation to deal with.