Abusive and controlling EX-husband

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Old Jan 27th, 2011, 11:25 PM   #1
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Default Abusive and controlling EX-husband

I divorced my husband because of his constant verbal and emotional abuse and was awarded custody of our then 3 year old daughter. Ten long years later I am still dealing with abusive emails and constant attempts to control my time with my daughter. From the beginning he has insisted that the only indviduals he will agree to watch our child outside of school is his wife, him or myself. I have been a single mom for most of this time, and have had to keep a job to support my family. In our divorce papers, it states that we must come to an agreement on who cares for her during our absence. It also states that if no agreement can be made, I get final decision. As would be expected, he hasn't agreed to any caregiver, and has set limitations on afterschool activities (such as she can be in basketball, but cannot attend the Thursday and Friday nights that he picks her up after school). If I make a decision on a caregiver, he becomes even worse, finding everything he can to complain about eventually making the situation intollerable. He insists that I pick her up after school, and won't even agree to my fiance watching her for periods of time. Obviously this interferes with my career. In addition, he badgers and attacks me through emails complaining about her grades, bus schedule, my parenting style, and my personal choices in life. He calls her constantly to see what she's doing and where I am. This weekend, for instance, she told him she was spending the night at a friends house. He then attacked me saying "you're just sending her off to someones house and you haven't even met the parents. This is exactly why I say it would be great if you could take an interest in where she is and if she is safe." I have done everything I can to work with him, and avoid conflict, but to no avail. I feel as if he is using our daughter to control me, claiming he's simply more concerned about her welfare than I am. When is my time with my daughter my time? I feel as if I'm still married to him and being controlled by afar. What are my rights in a situation like this? How can I draw the line? How much information do I need to share with him?
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Old Jan 27th, 2011, 11:48 PM   #2
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Default Re: Abusive and controlling EX-husband

I wish to inform you that if your child custody cannot be worked under existing situation then you may file for modification of child custody. You may inform court of the existing hardship which you are facing and that best interest of child are being affected because of other parents acts. Court considers best interest of child as main consideration and fathers acts will affect child's best interest because child is not having stable environment.

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Old Jan 28th, 2011, 05:21 AM   #3
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Default Re: Abusive and controlling EX-husband

What part of "if no agreement can be reached, mother gets the final decision"? Exercise that right.

It's time to stop kow-towing to this man and tell him to pound sand if he doesn't like it. He's not to control your life through your child.

He's being a big baby, but that's what all men do best. Nothing unusual there.
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