California Child Support & Visitation

[Norm_Law]

I am a new lawyer on the forum. If you have any issues related to California Child Support & Visitation, feel free to post to this thread or contact me through my profile.

I just posted this and wanted to send it to you as well as you seem to be available for possible help. Any advice you can give I appreciate. Sorry about typos, it is late and I can't sleep from the stress.


Father wants to have son after 10 years of nothing

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My son's father and I separated three months after he was born, he was much younger than me and wanted to party i guess when he realized the responsiblilties of marriage and being a parent. When I was pregnant he left once and returned. When we finally separated he was staying with questionable friends, specifically neo=nazi's, skinheads, and drinking/partying a lot and even started dating a minor. I was pretty disgusted with this to say the least, but i was busy working full time, doing the day care runs on foot to and fro, taking care of my newborn who was also a premie i may add. Once his father visited and I asked that he sign over complete custody and control over to me, i typed up a document and we had a friend witness our signatures and he signed as well. Since then his dad has been virtually unlocateable, when he gets ahold of me I let him see his son, for a bit i was letting him take him for several hours to visit his family on the father's side, and once my child was returned to me with strangers who i found out were the minor girlfriend and her mom who was driving them, needless to say I was mortified. His father moved out of state, I moved out of state briefly to see if I could move to BC since I was involved heavily in horses and had several at that time. Ca was where we initially lived and where my son was born. Throughout the past ten years I have moved several times and once his dad returned to CA and i started letting him see my son again, I was dating someone at the time and he at one point threatened to beat my new relationship up on the telephone. I even paid the father to babysit once. All this time, I only received one or two payments over the course of ten years of less than a thousand bucks. Several years ago when the economy tanked in San Francisco I lost my job as many did and eventually relocated to Nevada and got a great job, lived with my grandfather for a bit to get back on my feet. Now I am living and have been living on my own with my son, who is adhd, and is now ten years old. Last summer I got a call out of the blue from his father again, apparently he paid ten bucks for my unlisted cell phone number off the internet, and we basically argued for an hour about typical stuff and he never once asked about his son or how he was doing and I brought that to his attention. During that phone call I told him that I would really like to receive some sort of support, we are still legally married, but he hasn't contributed towards anything for my son his whole life for the most part. One year later, no contact, he calls me again, and asks to visit, which I allow. He flew in and I picked him up wth my son in tow and chaparoned his visit over the course of several days. It seems he got his life together finally and was working establishing his own business that back way back when I financed the equipment for when we were together so I was proud of that. My son was glad to finally see his da he told me, prior to his visit that he had saved some money to give to me and that he was going to be contributing regularly from now on, for once...whew i thought. Well the money didnt come during the visit, he, however sent me a smaller amount twice since he has returned. Today I got served papers for divorce and he is seeking custody of my child that I raised ten years all by myself. In the documents he has stated that I have blackmailed him saying that if he didnt give me money he could not see his kid. He has also stated that I have been running and moving and hiding from him all these years as well. He also states there is child neglect involved. I have a mediation appointment with the Sac Court in CA wednesday and if I have a response beyond their form, I am supposed to serve the father and the court 5 days prior. That would make no sense since I was served today and the mediation is wed morning at ten am. My son is visiting his grandparents, as he has for 5 years now in the summers. The father claims I sent him away because he has been in contact with me which of course i can prove otherwise, but I am reeling from the allegations he has accused me of. I have never once gone after him for deadbeat issues, could never find him when went looking. When he came to visit, that week I had also lost my job so he is obviously taking advantage of my lack of financial empowerment as well. What do I do? Back when he left he made mention that he would be back when my son was ten to be a part of his life and here he is. I am scared. My son is my life. I have raised him to be an honor student, who is the light of my life. How can a person who wanted nothing to do with us and never financially contribute just pull this kinda legal nonsense. Now i have to travel to CA twice in a month to deal with the legal matter, have to have my son available by telephone this wed for mediation questioning which is mandatory with the sac/ca courts. Now that this deadbeat has gotten his life in somewhat order he thinks he can just come in and destroy my life like this? I must have some rights. I am so afraid that he is still white supremacist, violent (bar fights and such), and that would definitely influence my sponge of a lovely child's brain with mud as far as I am concerned. I never kept his Father from seeing him when he wanted to except when he threatened my boyfriend. He claims I have been running from him by moving when I have moved to better my life and that of my kids. Please help me. I really appreciate it.
Mom in Distress

Not a lawyer but it helps to keep questions a little shorter in my experience,

but I am sure somebody will answer you shortly

Ex is an alcoholic.

Wil that be enough to cut visitation, every visit he is at least partially drunk.

We live in the same area so he just walks here but it a hassle every time. Our child is eight.

Originally Posted by Norm_Law

I am a new lawyer on the forum. If you have any issues related to California Child Support & Visitation, feel free to post to this thread or contact me through my profile.

Hi, welcome! and thanks! I am disabled, I get social security for myself, and a seperate check for my 14 year old son. When calculating my income for child /spousal support calculations, do I include the amount of my sons check and mine, added together, or just the amount of mine? What law supports this? I did declare it in the "income provided by others" portion of my income/expense declarations. If yes, can I get retroactive amount for the last year that was payed incorrectly? I didn't even know I could have objected when my ex's lawyer provided the amount combined, so I didn't. We were married 13 years, in CA, if that matters. Thanks so much!

I am just a visitor not a lawyer but would suggest if you are in CA that you also call the Family Law Facilitator office and have them guide you. Or the support office itself, just to be sure. It can get tricky as i recall when filing that stuff.

If i have a job with a per diem split pay, can my ex access my per diem for child support calculations?

[tbyte]

Any regular income can be considered. I have even seen courts consider having a parent pay rent on your apartment to be income.

[ashley_v27]

Originally Posted by Norm_Law

I am a new lawyer on the forum. If you have any issues related to California Child Support & Visitation, feel free to post to this thread or contact me through my profile.

Hi, I hope you can help answer some questions for me...I've exhausted all my resources...I have 2 kids living in the Santa Clara county and I am currently living in Fresno county. I wanted to see how, who, what I can do to get my case transfer down here to where I live. My ex and I have joint custody of the kids. I am driving to San Jose to get a copy of my divorce documents which should include my custody rights/orders next week. I already talk to to the Fresno Faciliator and was advice to go to the San Jose facilliator to speak with them since the kids resides in San Jose. The father is planning to move them out of the state without my permission after they visit with me this summer. They will be visiting me for a month before he takes them. Can I just keep my kids and enroll them in school to stay with me permantly? What are your thoughts or advice? Any advice would be great!! Thanks in advance!

My older son is going to be a senior in high school in a few weeks, can I claim all the expenses that he will have such as prom, graduation, class ring, senior trip & breakfast, etc. The non-custodial parent has requested modification. My son also had braces put on, can I claim that?