New Jersey custody battle

I have been going back and forth with the courts to get primary residency for my son. The mother and I currently share joint legal custody of our child. We have scheduled days and a holiday schedule. Within the last several months my son has been in dirty clothes, clothes just to small for him, and his health not in good standing when I pick him up. I have had to take him to the emergency room on several occasions and him take antibiotics. The mother has not taken him to follow up appointments and denied me the right to take him to the doctors. On top of all this she has moved in and out of 2 mens homes with my son. She has also not followed the parenting and holiday schedule that we have established. I have police reports to show proof of her not being there for pick up or drop off at scheduled times. She has also shown up with my 2yr old son in a booster seat which I have pictures of. I have petitioned the courts for primary residency and sent in all of my police reports of her not allowing me to get my child on holiday visits and court order visits denied by the mother,ER visit, Dr visits, and pictures to support me.
I have not been granted anymore time and nothing has been done to make sure my son is safe when with his mother. All the courts say is go to another parenting seminar, seek counseling, and she can not move without petioning the courts. Counseling and seminars aren't going to work when the mother doesn't feel like she is doing anything wrong. It is always about how she feels and is being spiteful by kepping my child away from me and the courts are letting her. I am a good father who is there ontime if not a few min early to get him, child support is paid, my son is always happy to see me, and is well taken care of with me.
Just recently I had my son on a scheduled over night visit and his mother stated she would not be at the residence in the morning at drop off. I have to be at work so I had to get a sitter. When my sons mother decided to show up she called the cops stating I wasn't bringing him back and also went to family court office and was granted primary legal custody until we go to court. I missed a scheduled weekend because of this. How is this possible?? How can she say I took him when I didn't and the courts just not allow me to see him?? What can be done for me to get primary residency of my son? What information and documents do I need to prove his mother is unfit to care for the child and is not following any of the court orders. Any help is appreciated.

[AFFA]

I wish to inform you that you may take custody of child. In this regard court considers best interest of child as main consideration. You will be required to show that mother is not taking care of child. In this you may show necessary evidence that child is being neglected by mother. Court will award you custody ones you will be able to show that mother is not taking care of child.

AFF