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I want full custody of my daughter; my boyfriend wants to legally adopt her

This is a discussion on I want full custody of my daughter; my boyfriend wants to legally adopt her within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; hi my name is valerie. sorry for any typos i may have im pressed for time while i write this. ...

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Old Sep 6th, 2010, 04:16 PM   #1
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Confused I want full custody of my daughter; my boyfriend wants to legally adopt her

hi my name is valerie. sorry for any typos i may have im pressed for time while i write this. I have a 2yr old and her father has NEVER seen her. when i was pregnant he said he didnt want her because it would ruin his life. i told him not to worry about it and i would take care of her. Around my 8th month he contacted me saying he was sorry and was ready to b a father to her. Between the time she was born and her 3rd month of like he sent me about 100 dollars. We got into an argument about the money not being enohg so all of a sudden he said he wasnt her father and my boyfriend had it taken care of. my boyfriend has been with me since i was about 3 months pregnant with her and has always taken care of her as his own. he changed his number and 2 yrs later hasnt bothered to look for her. i have emails of him saying he wasnt her father wants to give up his rights. this was when she was only months old. i contacted him on myspace a couple times being that was my only way of doing so. on her first birthday i told him we needed to put our issues aside and if he wanted to call her he could do so. i gave him my number. he never called. so now she is 2 and only knows my boyfriend as daddy. so heres my first question. my daughter has my last name. am i able to change her last name to my boyfriends last name without a problem or having to go through him ? i asked him not too long ago on myspace if he was willing to give up his rights beacause my boyfriend wants to legally adopt her and once again i never got a response. how do i go about taking his rights away > i dont even know where he lives. all i know is that he is in florida. i have save all our conversations in case that helps. i dont want him to show up later in her life only to hurt and confuse her. please help me
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Old Sep 6th, 2010, 04:47 PM   #2
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Default re: I want full custody of my daughter; my boyfriend wants to legally adopt her

It really would help if you people would use some white space.

You cannot place your new boyfriend's name on your child's birth certificate. It is a legal document. A vital record of live birth.

You can petition the court to terminate his rights, but if those rights have never been legally established, you will first have to seek a paternity test to prove his biological paternity.

Blood ties take precedence, so keep that in mind. This child has a right to know his or her biological father.

If you have any further questions, please ask, but please use paragraph breaks so your posts are easier to navigate through. Thanks.
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Old Sep 6th, 2010, 06:51 PM   #3
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Default re: I want full custody of my daughter; my boyfriend wants to legally adopt her

If the "real" Father is on birth acknowledgment or birth certificate you can do nothing without his consent. You also cannot terminate his rights unless you are married and have been so for a time (6 mos min in many states) and your husband wishes to adopt
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Old Sep 6th, 2010, 10:04 PM   #4
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Default Re: I want full custody of my daughter; my boyfriend wants to legally adopt her

the birth father has NEVER seen her. so hes not on the birth certificate at all. my question is...if he has never claimed her as his daughter and has MY last name does he still have rights ?

is she wishes to find her father when she is old enough she can. for now i want all parental rights.

here are my reasons. my daughter was conceived in florida (where her dad lives) he wanted me to get an abortion. i didnt and left the state. he said he wanted nothing to do with her.

i moved to new jerey where she was born. he was informed of when i was due and we had talked about him being there when she was born

he never came. its been 2 yrs and my boyfriend and plan on moving to florida within the next yr or so with my daughter and our son.

my concern is that he will try to all of a sudden try to come into her life just because we are in the same state.

he never even bothered to call !!! not once ater her 3rd month of life ! i tried multiple times to contact him to try to get him to have a relationship with his daughter

it was his choice not to call or come around. she knows my boyfriend as daddy. hes been there since she was still in my belly. that is the only daddy she knows.

i dont think he deserves to be in her life now just because we will be in the same state. but i will not move to florida until his rights are taken from him or he gives them up.if thats the case we wont be moving
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Old Sep 6th, 2010, 10:31 PM   #5
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Default Re: I want full custody of my daughter; my boyfriend wants to legally adopt her

You answered your own question. If he is not on either birth certificate or birth acknowledgment he is not child's legal Father and therefore currently has no rights. However that also means he cannot be made to pay support either
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Old Sep 6th, 2010, 11:09 PM   #6
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Default Re: I want full custody of my daughter; my boyfriend wants to legally adopt her

i do not want child support. can he try to get rights in the future even if he has never been in her life ?
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Old Sep 6th, 2010, 11:12 PM   #7
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Default Re: I want full custody of my daughter; my boyfriend wants to legally adopt her

basically i want it to be as though he never existed till she is old enough to decide if she wants to find him or not
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Old Sep 7th, 2010, 08:43 AM   #8
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Default Re: I want full custody of my daughter; my boyfriend wants to legally adopt her

He can seek to establish paternity and when proven he is Father he will have equal rights to custody, visitation and, support.
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Old Sep 7th, 2010, 09:40 AM   #9
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Default Re: I want full custody of my daughter; my boyfriend wants to legally adopt her

Considering that he's already made it known that he has no intention of wanting to be this child's father, you appear to be borrowing trouble.

It doesn't matter whether you both live in the same State. If he ever wishes to obtain parental rights, he can accomplish that from anywhere.

Right now, he has no rights to the child whatsoever. It is apparent he is content with that, and it's highly unlikely he will seek rights in the future.

Also, right now, you can marry your current boyfriend and he can adopt the child, considering, as it stands currently, the child has no legal father. No father's name is listed on the birth certificate. You cannot, however, list the boyfriend on the child's birth certificate. That would be fraud, and it also opens up a whole new can of legal woe beans.
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Old Sep 7th, 2010, 12:12 PM   #10
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Default Re: I want full custody of my daughter; my boyfriend wants to legally adopt her

Your "BF" cannot adopt child until you two marry and stay that way a while. furthermore any attempt to adopt will have to involve contacting bio Dad. Courts will not approve adoption withut first contacting bio Dad
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