Ex using child as pawn in wicked games - HELP!

Hello - My name is Carrie. I am currently in a relationship with a man who has a beautiful 2 year old daughter! He and the ex were never married, and things did not end amicably between the two. He has informed her that he only wants to be her friend and co-parent, things are over between the two of them.
He loves his daughter more than life itself. That little girl is his entire being. However, because they were never legally married - they never had an iron clad black and white legal agreement. Because of this - the ex is constantly threatening his time with the girl, and uses the child against him, to get what she wants. Unfortunately from what he understands, the way the law works, since they worked out agreements between the two of them, technically he has no "LEGAL CUSTODY RIGHTS" over his daughter, and anytime that she "allows" him to have with his daughter, is just that - "allowed" by the mother...
Now she is upset that he has moved on with me, has just moved in with me, and after a last ditch attempt to beg him to come back - she is now threatening to go after full custody, limit the time he has with his daughter, and rake him thru the coals for child support. He is absolutely heart broken. The thought of only having his daughter every other weekend is killing him. He has her half of the time as it is now.
I don't know what his best course of action would be - Part of me thinks he needs to go first and be the one to petition for his rights and get the ball rolling, but he doesn't know what will happen.

We're really confused - I love him and want to support him in every way that I can, and my heart is breaking for the little girl. She adores her father and any time spent away from him, will only hurt her. How can we beat this wicked witch at her own game??? Anybody, please help!!!

He has no enforceable rights right now since no order exists from the court--but he can easily get one if he goes to court. No court will deny him access and she should be told she cannot use that as any kind of threat.

[pooh_200619]

First of all if there is no order in the court system for custody he can file for full custody of his child..Most likely if he explains what is happening he will gain custody.. If not then they will give him visitation and make him pay child support but he will be able to see his child that is what is important..It doesn't matter rather there is no legal order in the system as long as he is wanting and willing to see his child he will get it reguardless of her request for nothing.. The judge will not allow her to take the child away from him. Now if there is a order for custody it can always be changed just file for change of visitation and the judge will most likely change it..There is no person that can stop a father or mother from seeing there child when there is a court order in effect after the paperwork is filed..next thing you do once visitation and custody is in order rather it be him with custody or her keep a notebook handy at all times so you can write down the date time and month that you had or didn't have with the child and if she keeps refusing you visitation after a few months then you can use that against her..Good Luck...

Originally Posted by Unregistered

How can we beat this wicked witch at her own game???

WE cant. only your fiance can.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

WE cant. only your fiance can.

Yes you BOTH can. Stand by your man!!! It will pay off in the end!!!

[opticalguru]

I AM FACING THE SAME SITUATION, ONLY THE MAN IS MY HUSBAND. WE HAVENT SEEN HIS CHILDREN IN OVER 3 MONTHS AND THIS WOMAN THAT TOOK HIS KIDS, IS THE BIOLOGICAL MOTHER, SHE EVEN HAD CHILDREN SERVICES AT HER DOOR. EVEN THROUGH ALL THAT SHE STILL REFUSES US VISITATION. SHE TOLD HIM HE WOULD HAVE TO DIVORCE BEFORE HE COULD SEE THE KIDS.

IT IS A PAIN IN THE NECK TO GO TO COURT. BUT SOMETIMES THAT IS ALL YOU CAN DO.

BUT NO MATTER WHAT REMEMBER, KIDS DO GROW UP AND THEY WILL LEARN TO RESENT HER FOR KEEPING THEM AWAY FROM THIER DAD.

SO GO TO COURT, RESEARCH AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Yes you BOTH can. Stand by your man!!! It will pay off in the end!!!

uh no THEY cant. she is only dad's fiancee, not the parent, and has no legal standing. or rights. its best if she lets dad, her fiance handle it

What do you do when your ex never calls to see how is children are doing but his new girlfriend call and cusses you out on the regular. Saying that you are keeping the father from your kids, calls you crazy, semds your friends nasty emails, and makes your life a living hell for three years? But the father never calls, nor sends cards on birthday days, you change your number, move, and still they find you. Not to see how the kids are, dont even ask about them when they call. But now after seven years of not seeing you children, the new girl goes and files papers for full custody, saying your an unfit mother when you have met her once? The kids would not know her or their father if we passed them on the street, but they know are trying to get three weeks in the summer. And they want me to but them on an airplane and send them 500 miles away? What do you do then?

I almost forgot, why are you trying to fight for the Dad, dont you think he should be the one fight for his kid?

using child to get back to him is really not good..use it agains her it will pay..if u got no paper from court next time u got ur babe just keep her ..daddy got the same right compare to a mommy..set her in court before she does...i kick my son's mother out and the next day i was with a lawyer filling some paper asking for full custody and it did look good cause now after 3 year of fighting i finally got custody of my babe...i am telling u if there is no paper court and u do have ur babe at home with u u dont have to give it back to her unlest the child in question is in danger.but she have the right to go get that child anywhere she is if daddy is not around........but like someone said in some previous answer daddy should be the one who take action in here no u ...unlest he's beside u when u came in here ..to me it dont look good if u do all the work for him...with no bad meaning there... ...im talking with experience personnel there...good luck