My Ex-Wife Turned on me when the money ran out.

[AGood Dad]

Good Morning to all,

I am a 47 year old man whose ex-wife is tiring to turn my son against me and is making me seem like a dead beat dad. We were divorced in April 2008. I was to pay $750 a month which was based on $65,000 a year income and if she was in college I agreed to help by paying an additional $750 a month for 3 years as long as she was enrolled in college written in the decree. Well I was in the mortgage banking industry and as you know it went belly up. I was one of the good guys. I reported three companies to the banking dept. for fraud and one was fined 150k another individual went to jail. I am a very ethical person. So my income stopped in November 2008. I was unemployed for 11 months. However I continued to pay the $750 a month from savings and selling anything I had during that time I was unemployed. I gained employment in October 2009 and was making $1,600 a month at that time I continued to pay $750 a month. That company ran out of funds and stopped paying me in April 2010. I ran out of cash. I stopped paying child support. I am applying for a modification of support. I went into court in Suffolk County NY and asked for legal aid. The judge stated that Suffolk County does not provide legal aid for a modification. Is this correct? I am on Medicare due to my situation. I have been looking for employment diligently, because I do not have a college degree I cannot gain employment. Currently we are at nearly a 10% unemployment rate as you know. I have some college and need to gain my BS to re-enter the work place. I have applied to Home Depot, Blinds R Us, and many other low paying jobs but I am 47 and there are thousands of college grads that cannot gain employment due to this economy. I have been working my whole life from paper route to COO of a major banker. We went to court and my ex-wife stated I haven’t participated in my sons life and is tiring to make me seem like a dead beat, which I am not. She told the court I owe her $20,000 dollars which is a lie. She stated I have not called my son since May, which is a lie. She just put a block on my sons phone to prevent me from calling him in spite. My court hearing is at the end of next month. Should I go without an attorney? What should I expect in the hearing? Can the judge deny me legal aid even if I qualify? Does it matter what lies she states or is the outcome based on facts and my current financial situation. When the money ran out so did she. She is a horrible person and she is telling my son that I am the enemy. My son caught her having sex with her co-worker in my living room during our separation. She is a liar and a cheat. I am happy I got away from her but love my son more than anything. He is 14 soon I only have 4 more years I hope.

Courts never provide legal aid for anyone but the mother...period.
You can file for a modification yourself. When it's your turn to speak, have the facts on paper to prove that:
You paid your child support
You were working but are now out of a job
Get your phone records from the phone company to prove you called the number, ask the judge to call from your cell phone and the moms cell phone and he can see that your number has been blocked (a BIG no no in the court, alienation, but that goes with visitation)
Do you have visitation or has she played the queen like most of them do and stopped that? If you have court ordered visitation, and she has denied that to you, also file for custody/visitation. In this you will state that you have been denied visitation. From now until the case, if she denies visitation, as soon as you are to get your child, and she hasn't made the child available to you, call the police, with your visitation order in hand. Have them file a report. Do this each and every time you are denied visitation.
Also, send her a letter of denied visitation, certified mail each and everytime it happens. You can find a sample letter to go by here: (without the spaces) w w w. deltabravo . net/ custody/ missed-visit.php The Deltabravo site as lots of useful information too!

I have visitation rights. She has not denied them as of yet. My major concern about the modification is that she is a liar. Does it matter what she states or is the modification based on financial facts? If I am currently unemployed, have no money, and prove that I am diligently looking for work what will be the possible outcome. My income changed in 2008. I paid for 15 months of support based on an income that was no longer there. I went through my savings to provide for my son.

Modification is based on the facts presented before the courts. The child support is based on your income, her income and the needs of the child. They may order you to get a job anywhere, doing something, no matter what it is so you can continue to pay the support. Not sure what state you are in, several states will jail you for not paying court ordered support, so I'd be careful.
Also, provide your bank statements to prove that the money you paid was out of your savings or else they will question how you could pay then and not now with no job.
The courts always base their decision on facts alone, so make sure you have proof of everything. Phone records are a great way to prove that you can't contact your son but have been trying.