S/O's child support: He is willing to give up his rights to both children

Hi, I am on here in concern for my future well-being with my significant other's child support payments. He said he is willing to give up his rights because he cannot live on his paychecks with the amount of child support coming out of it. Is there any way to avoid court fees? He cannot afford a lawyer, and would like to stop having child support taken from him. Once again, he is willing to give up his rights to both children. One mother lives nearby, but will not let him see his daughter... He wants to be active, but she is limiting his ability to do this (She has custody, but he should still have rights to see his daughter, right?) Also, the other child lives in another state. She is more cooperative, and if he lived closer, he would be able to see his daughter more. Unfortunately, it is a tough situation... Especially when financially he struggles. I personally do not want to handle that business, but I know in choosing to be with him, all this will affect me. He is a good man, and has tried his best to be a part of the children's lives. Any advice on how to stop child support from being taken from him or how to lower his child support (He says it is a good amount and people with 7 children pay less per child). So any advice and information about this topic would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

He can go to the court and fill out papers to have his child support modified. If there has been a substantial drop in his income, and it's been over 3 years since it was ordered or last modified, they will lower it based on his income, her income and what the needs of the child are. Also, if he has another child, that will be taken into consideration as well.

Do you know how much it would cost to have the papers modified? His girls are like 12 and 9, I think... Not fully sure. He says he cannot afford a lawyer, but I am sure there is some way to help him.

Thanks for your response.

I wish people could get it through their pea brains that giving up parental rights does not automatically absolve a person of the financial duty to support their offspring. The two are entirely separate matters. The very notion is so ludicrous it's difficult to believe people actually think if they simply give up their right to parent their child that their obligation to financially support that child is nullified.

He's not a "good man" if he's trying so hard to weasel out of paying for his own kids that he's willing to give up being their father. If that's what you consider a "good man", you have very low standards indeed.

Parents have to pay for their offspring so us taxpayers don't have the burden. Why should I have to pay for someone else's kid? He needs to grow a spine, man up, and accept his responsibilities in life. He's too old to be still acting like a baby huey.

The court will not likely terminate his parental rights and they sure as h e l l won't stop his child support obligation.

You should really mind your own business. This is his situation to take care of. Not yours.

Originally Posted by Unregistered Do you know how much it would cost to have the papers modified? His girls are like 12 and 9, I think... Not fully sure. He says he cannot afford a lawyer, but I am sure there is some way to help him. Thanks for your response.

Usually its just the filing charges..depends on the filing charges in your state. Call the court house and ask them how much it costs to file papers for modification of child support.

[Cowgirl87]

It's not that he wants to financially abandon them. He just cannot afford the amount that has been set. He takes every chance to visit and talk with his daughters. He wants to be a part of their lives, and would contribute financially. It is not that he wants to "weasel out" of anything... just have a lower amount to pay. One mother is cooperative, the other is not. He has a right to see both daughters, but due to distance issues, cannot see one... and has been limited my the other mother to see the daughter closest to him. Please don't start judging until you know the whole story. He is there for his daughter as much as physically possible. It is a shame that the mother nearby is not more understanding and cooperative.

Trust me, I've seen a weasel of a man avoid child support and get to the point where that child does not even remember what her father looks like. For that, I say BS. There is definitely a financial obligation to a child... legalized or not. I don't believe that my significant other would abandon his children like that.

[Cowgirl87]

Fair enough about minding my own business. I am trying to help... and it never hurts to be educated myself. I am one of the only people he feels comfortable talking about this to, and I give my two cents. I cannot make him do anything.

[Cowgirl87]

I also appreciate the Unregistered's responses that are helpful. I did not post here to be belittled or bashed, just getting my questions answered. At least he is paying the child support, but just would like to be able to support himself and daughters.

He should probably stop having unprotected sex if he can't afford to pay for the children ultimately conceived by his irresponsible actions.

In any event, he can ask for a modification, but it's unlikely the amount will be lowered much more than it probably already is. If he's paying for two children, it's probably as low as it can go.

You don't mention what he's paying so it's difficult to gauge, but it's doubtful the court will lower it to any significant degree. $55-65 per month per child is rock bottom. If he's close to that, he will not get it lowered any further.

You began your thread by stating that your boyfriend is "willing to give up his rights" due to inability to pay child support. Again, one has nothing to do with the other, and courts are very reluctant to cut parental ties. Even when they do (and it is very rare), the person is still ordered to continue paying child support. It's that person's financial obligation and that will never change.