What will happen? I was served with contempt papers - NC

This is a discussion on What will happen? I was served with contempt papers - NC within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; (North Carolina) I was served with contempt papers of my ex's visitation rights. (Court in one month) He hasn't seen ...

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Old Jun 7th, 2010, 05:29 PM   #1
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Default What will happen? I was served with contempt papers - NC

(North Carolina)
I was served with contempt papers of my ex's visitation rights. (Court in one month) He hasn't seen his son in 12 months, and only twice last year. My son is 15, doesn't want to see his dad because he hates his stepmom, so I don't make him go.
His stepmom has sent me emails stating that I am a sorry mom, that I am a deadbeat because I won't let my son visit, and tells me what I am putting his dad through. She has also stated that his parents have rights as well and that they will all testify against me if they need to.
What I need to know is:
1) What will the judge do?
2) Can I go to jail? (I have another son at home as well who is 7)
3) Can I submit the emails from hateful stepmom to show why I don't want my son there?
4) Can my son testify that he hates her and doesnt want to be there if she is around?
and 5) What do I need to do to defend our actions?
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Old Jun 7th, 2010, 06:34 PM   #2
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Default re: What will happen? I was served with contempt papers - NC

If there has been a court order establishing his custody/visitation, then you cannot interfere with that. Not making your child go simply because he doesn't like the stepmother is not a viable excuse. I'd also hazard a guess that he doesn't like the woman because of your own feelings about her. Children pick up on that, and they want to be loyal to their parents even when they know their parents are acting childishly.

Not "making" him go is a violation of the court order, should one exist, and you can and probably will be in contempt. You will lose more and more custodial privileges if you continue this foolishness.

Stop bringing your child into adult matters, grow up, and behave like a responsible adult. Just because the woman is acting like a child doesn't mean you have to indulge her with your own childish responses. You and your ex have a son together and no matter who each of you are involved with now, that will never change.

You cannot defend your actions. Your defense is not based on logic. It has no merit with a court. You will be found in contempt, your ex will be awarded more visitation than he has right now, and you will lose custody altogether if you don't stop this nonsense now.
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Old Jun 8th, 2010, 09:23 AM   #3
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Default re: What will happen? I was served with contempt papers - NC

You should make him do the visits. Actually you have to do so until the court changes the order.
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Old Jun 8th, 2010, 07:04 PM   #4
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Default re: What will happen? I was served with contempt papers - NC

It is important to always encourage the child to visit the other parent. If you are found to be the reason why the child does not want to go that becomes parental alienation (sp). You needed to return to court and explain to the judge that the child did not want to go for visitation. Depending on the age, usually around 13 + the courts will hear the child's opinion. The older the child the more weight the childs wishes carry.

Your problem is that you didn't ask the court to make the change and you will most likely be found in contempt of the order. How the Judge handles it is hard to say. Talk to a Lawyer and find out if based on your child age the judge will take his wishes into consideration.

My daughter at age 13 decided she wanted to live with her father and have no contact with me. I have a court order stating she lives with me but the police would not enforce it because of her age and directed me to the courts. The judge said that based on her age he would not force her to adhear to the court order and changed the order making visitation with me subject to her wishes. The judge said that at that age the court does not force a child to stay or visit a parent against their will. this only leads to runaways, he said the only thing that would force him to adhear to the order and return her home was if her father was abusive and I could prove it. He was an a$^ but not abusive to his kids.

Good luck and contact the local police and see if the would enforce the order and then contact a lawyer. My ex never charged me with contept he just filed with the court to stop his child support for her.
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Old Jun 13th, 2010, 11:13 AM   #5
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Good luck and contact the local police and see if the would enforce the order and then contact a lawyer. My ex never charged me with contept he just filed with the court to stop his child support for her.
Why would she contact the local police? On what grounds? She just sounds like a deadbeat mom that is jealous of her husband's new wife, hence she won't let her child go there.
That to me is grounds for jail time, contempt of court, etc.
He was in every right to go to the court and ask them to hold you in contempt.
I hope you ROT in jail for a while. mothers like you need to realize that the law is on ALL sides, not just yours!
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Old Jun 14th, 2010, 08:25 AM   #6
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Default re: What will happen? I was served with contempt papers - NC

I had custody of my child and a court order stating she lived with me. When she reached 13 she decided to live with my ex. She went over for the court ordered visit and never came home.

I called the police to enforce the order stating she lived with me and her time with my ex was only these specific days. the police said they would not force the child to leave one parent regardless of the court order due to her age. I explained that court orders are legally binding and enforceable but they refused to enforce it because my child told them she wanted to stay with my ex.

I filed for contempt of court against my ex and asked the court to order my child returned to me per the existing order. My ex filed to change the order based on the wishes of the child. The court simply dismissed my case for contempt and made a new order granting my child residency with my ex. The judge stated in his order that due to my childs age her wishes would be taken into account.

My child would not come anywhere near me for years because she was afraid I would not let her return to my ex.

I disagree with any parent that trash talks their ex to the children, bribes the children not to see their other parent these actions are wrong and are legally called parental alienation. If proven the courts will come down on the offending parent but once the children get to be a certain age the courts actually listen to them. I had never talked bad about my ex in front of my children my child. I live in a rual area with few neighbors and my ex lives in an area with ot only lots of people but lots of kids my childs age. She made friends and wanted to go to school with her friends. I didn't see that at the time, I didn't listen to her.
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Old Jun 14th, 2010, 08:27 AM   #7
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Default re: What will happen? I was served with contempt papers - NC

Sorry typo My ex lives where lots of kids "My daughters' age live.
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Old Jun 15th, 2010, 10:02 PM   #8
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Default re: What will happen? I was served with contempt papers - NC

I would argue that is pretty hard to "make" a 15 year old do anything, perhaps the judge will note his prefrences and allow him to make his own decisions regarding this. I dont know you so i dont know if you alleniated his affections towards his dad or not, I hope not, remember he is half you and half his father. If you tear apart his dad you are tearing your son down too. Perhaps for your hearing you can bring the emails you receive from the stepmom, anything showing her interference.
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