Mother tired of DHR... Alabama

This is a discussion on Mother tired of DHR... Alabama within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; I am the Mother of a 6 year old little boy. I have been dealing with DHR. Three years ago ...

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Old May 15th, 2010, 02:33 PM   #1
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Confused Mother tired of DHR... Alabama

I am the Mother of a 6 year old little boy. I have been dealing with DHR. Three years ago My son was whipped by my bestfriends boyfriend while I was at work. My ex-mother-in-law picked him up the next morning and called DCS before I even knew he had been whipped. It took me six months to get him back. They told me single mothers don't have room mates, single mothers don't work night shift jobs, and single mothers should have licensed daycares. Several court dates later the judge finally realized that my ex's parents were just dragging it out and could not prove me unfit. I got full custody back and all has been well since, Until last Thursday. My neighbor gets my son off the bus for me after school and watches him until his grandparents pick him up, but Thursday my neighbor wasn't home and my son had to sit alone in my apartment until his grandfather got there 30mins later. Well his grandfather got held up in a meeting and was 30mins late. By the time he got there my son was in DHR custody and on his way to a temporary foster home for the night. We went to court the next morning to see the judge and they kept him in the foster home until our next court date because I had a run in with DHR 3 years ago. One of my neighbors made a false complaint that our son is unsupervised everyday which is not true. Now I'm waiting for them to investigate the allegations before my son can come home. I have already had my schedule changed at work to where I only work weekends now so I'm home all week, and I have passed the drug test, but that still isn't enough for DHR. How can I keep from having my son taken from me everytime life happens???

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Old May 27th, 2010, 05:06 PM   #2
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Lightbulb re: Mother tired of DHR... Alabama

Dhr is a scary thing, I do not find these people to have any credibility. Children that need dhr's help seem to go by the wayside. Dhr family court, seems to be simply amused at little me when i pursue 13 years worth of child support and have allowed my little boy's father and his own sister to threaten me inside family court , back up had to be called!

It is very frightening when you are threatened inside family court and everyone sitting upstairs witnesses this and these 2 clowns do not go to jail they just cause chaos and cause me to have to work my job around the many court dates.

Father owes 50,000 without me every having raised his support. The first original amount was merely 260.00, a month, he simply could have paid that. I worked in factory long time back, and paid daycare and family insurance every week wich added upwards to over 500.00 a month.

The family court female judge allows for the father to carry on like a clown and does virtually nothing to him except she keeps setting new dates and he send a couple hundred inbetween?????

Dhr needs to be revealed for what they are .... every judge should be held accountable .... i am a single mom who has never had government assistance except for wic when pregnant. I have even been told i cannot get afdc if i make over 200.00 dollars a month?????

How is it that people i have worked with full time have food stamps?

Can anyone enlighten me, I work very hard and know our kids deserve better.

Thanks Tracy or Diligence366@aol.com
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Old May 28th, 2010, 10:25 AM   #3
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Default re: Mother tired of DHR... Alabama

While family court and law is archaic, it's ultimately the parents' responsibility to comport themselves accordingly.

The law cannot force anyone to pay child support. It's not family court that puts men in jail for non-payment of it. It's each state's welfare system. That is because once the state is involved, they are the ones out the money, and the system does not work.

Just like prison and people dying from drug abuse is not a deterrent, neither is failure to pay child support. You can punish, but you cannot force people to behave in a way that's socially acceptable.

Instead of viewing your situation as "woe is me", why not be damned proud of what you've accomplished on your own, without needing anyone else's support.
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Old Jul 23rd, 2010, 11:31 AM   #4
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I live in Michigan. I was a single mother who raised my son alone. His father (and family) were from AL, also. As a teen, I let my son visit them even though the father owed $$$$$ in support. Long story short, the aunt kept my son, lied to courts in Talledega, and my manipulative teen son wouldn't come home. i was accused of being unfit. I fought for years and the aunt worked for DHR and got a TANF case activiated. The courts knew, my lawyer knew - even the social worker knew and did nothing. I was from another state - Michigan. A letter was sent from MI to return my son as I still had legal custody of him. No one investigated me - just assumed I was 'unfit' single mother from the North. I had to pay support even though his biological sperm donor died without ever paying a dime - to him or his other 5 children. My son came home and I was still paying - the family never did anything else for him.This court sytem and other Friend of the Courts need a complete overhaul. They even make fathers pay for children whom are not biologically their own children. They make parents pay to revengeful, lying relatives. The 'Friend of the Court' is nobody's Friend.
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Old Dec 14th, 2010, 03:02 PM   #5
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While family court and law is archaic, it's ultimately the parents' responsibility to comport themselves accordingly.

The law cannot force anyone to pay child support. It's not family court that puts men in jail for non-payment of it. It's each state's welfare system. That is because once the state is involved, they are the ones out the money, and the system does not work.

Just like prison and people dying from drug abuse is not a deterrent, neither is failure to pay child support. You can punish, but you cannot force people to behave in a way that's socially acceptable.

Instead of viewing your situation as "woe is me", why not be damned proud of what you've accomplished on your own, without needing anyone else's support.
Are you kidding? This person is my son's flesh and blood, he will be made to wake up. Nothing is ever to good for my son. His father has wined and sniveled for at least the 13 years I have known him. I have no time for crying or trying to understand his delimmas, but I WILL never let go of support for our son. You and your post gives me all the more resolve to never quit. He owes, and 260.00 dollars a month is not too much for anyone. It is his choices to be a neglectful dad, although he is not of character he can be made to pay in money.
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Old Dec 14th, 2010, 04:09 PM   #6
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Are you kidding? This person is my son's flesh and blood, he will be made to wake up. Nothing is ever to good for my son. His father has wined and sniveled for at least the 13 years I have known him. I have no time for crying or trying to understand his delimmas, but I WILL never let go of support for our son. You and your post gives me all the more resolve to never quit. He owes, and 260.00 dollars a month is not too much for anyone. It is his choices to be a neglectful dad, although he is not of character he can be made to pay in money.
If you took the time to read the post you responded to, you'd understand that people don't change their ways nor are the "made to wake up".

Your child's father will likely never pay his child support without garnishment or jail time. Even then, he will fall back into arrears.

People's spots, like a leopard's, do not change.

Is he also a "neglectful" dad when it comes to parenting? Or is he only "neglectful" when it comes to his child support obligation?
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Old Dec 14th, 2010, 04:11 PM   #7
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I do agree that $260.00 per month is not a lot of money to have to pay in child support. That amount equals $3120 per year. Most people pay that in cell phone bills by the end of the year.

If he's not paying, report him to your local Child Support Enforcement Agency.
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Old May 4th, 2011, 04:35 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Bonita View Post
I am the Mother of a 6 year old little boy. I have been dealing with DHR. Three years ago My son was whipped by my bestfriends boyfriend while I was at work. My ex-mother-in-law picked him up the next morning and called DCS before I even knew he had been whipped. It took me six months to get him back. They told me single mothers don't have room mates, single mothers don't work night shift jobs, and single mothers should have licensed daycares. Several court dates later the judge finally realized that my ex's parents were just dragging it out and could not prove me unfit. I got full custody back and all has been well since, Until last Thursday. My neighbor gets my son off the bus for me after school and watches him until his grandparents pick him up, but Thursday my neighbor wasn't home and my son had to sit alone in my apartment until his grandfather got there 30mins later. Well his grandfather got held up in a meeting and was 30mins late. By the time he got there my son was in DHR custody and on his way to a temporary foster home for the night. We went to court the next morning to see the judge and they kept him in the foster home until our next court date because I had a run in with DHR 3 years ago. One of my neighbors made a false complaint that our son is unsupervised everyday which is not true. Now I'm waiting for them to investigate the allegations before my son can come home. I have already had my schedule changed at work to where I only work weekends now so I'm home all week, and I have passed the drug test, but that still isn't enough for DHR. How can I keep from having my son taken from me everytime life happens???
the only thing I CAN SAY ID TO TRY AN KEEP OTHER PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR BUSSINESS. IS THE PNLY WAY. i KNOW HOW U FELL MY KIDS WHERE TAKEN FROM ME ABOUT 4 YEAR AGO OVER SOMETHING DUMB AS FOR MY GRANDMOTHER NOT LIKING THE FATHER OF MY KIDS AN I THINK SHE WAS VERY WRONG FOR THAT BECASUE IF SHE HAD A PROBLEM WITH HIM THEN IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN WITH HIM AN NOT ME AN MY KIDS. bUT MY MOM HAVE THEM AN i CAN SEE AN GET THEM WHEN i LIKE BUT IT NOT THE SAME AS THEM BEEN THERE ALL THE TIME i MISS THEM BEEN THERE THAT'S WHY i'M TRYIN TO GET THEM BACK NOW AN i'M GOING TO KEEP ALL OF THEM OUT OF MY BUSSINESS ALTOGHTER. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP GIRL AN WE NEED TO FORM SOMETING AGAINST MOTHER LIKE YOURSELF AN ME BECASEU IT'S PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT REALLY DON'T GIVE A CARE ABOUT THERE KIDS AN HERE U HAVE TO HARD WORKING MOTHERS THAT GO THOUGHT LIFE AN THEY SE THE BAD PARTS OF IT ALL. DAMN THAT I'M GETTIN MINES BACK SOONER THEN i CAN BLINK.
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Old Jun 3rd, 2011, 12:03 AM   #9
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I am a widowed mother of 4 my neighbors are old mean people they have called me and my father every name u can think of. The day they yelled at my 1 year old is when I yelled back. Three days later DHR was at my door telling me not asking me that I smoked crack. My father and have both passed drug tests and still I'm be investigated I lost my job at but social workers calling having come to ther office. Now my father is a risk of losing his job because of having to miss work to come TALK. Who gets investagrated for that. All allegations were found to be false. So why are they still allowed to call me in and my father when they feel like it. I can do is pray and put it in LORDs hands hope udo the same good luck and GOD Bless.

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I am the Mother of a 6 year old little boy. I have been dealing with DHR. Three years ago My son was whipped by my bestfriends boyfriend while I was at work. My ex-mother-in-law picked him up the next morning and called DCS before I even knew he had been whipped. It took me six months to get him back. They told me single mothers don't have room mates, single mothers don't work night shift jobs, and single mothers should have licensed daycares. Several court dates later the judge finally realized that my ex's parents were just dragging it out and could not prove me unfit. I got full custody back and all has been well since, Until last Thursday. My neighbor gets my son off the bus for me after school and watches him until his grandparents pick him up, but Thursday my neighbor wasn't home and my son had to sit alone in my apartment until his grandfather got there 30mins later. Well his grandfather got held up in a meeting and was 30mins late. By the time he got there my son was in DHR custody and on his way to a temporary foster home for the night. We went to court the next morning to see the judge and they kept him in the foster home until our next court date because I had a run in with DHR 3 years ago. One of my neighbors made a false complaint that our son is unsupervised everyday which is not true. Now I'm waiting for them to investigate the allegations before my son can come home. I have already had my schedule changed at work to where I only work weekends now so I'm home all week, and I have passed the drug test, but that still isn't enough for DHR. How can I keep from having my son taken from me everytime life happens???
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Old Jul 11th, 2011, 12:49 PM   #10
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Default Re: Mother tired of DHR... Alabama

Seems to me that DHR is in people's business that they should be and not in the people they should.

On 3/9/2009, my stepson reported to DHR that his mom was shooting up her meds; DHR gave them 2 days notice for a drug test and has done nothing because they had prescriptions for all their meds. On 5/7/09, she then fell out at the gas station with my three kids in car and went to Hospital in an ambulance. DHR released the kids back into her care. DHR would not even speak to the two witnesses that saw her messed up and driving with the children. On 6-16-09, another witness called us from his business, stated that he and some of his employees saw her shooting up in front of her other child that was 2 and she even bled on his couch. He also stated that she was not watching her daughter and wrecked his car. DHR is aware of this and stated that it’s “that guys word against the mother.” “What proof do you have?” We have even called the DHR’s supervisor and left four messages to change representatives and have received nothing back. I thought 3 witnesses and one 9 year old child, and passing out at a gas station with children would be enough proof for an unsafe environment. Each day that went by these, kids were unsafe and emotionally hurt.

We had three caseworkers and none that helped these children even though there was PLENTY of evidence to why these children should not be with their mother. We even went to the supervisor, supervisor at DHR and still nothing. Our daycare person (a third party) even called DHR.

Now in 2011, we have court papers and the mother does not have visitation at all. DHR was no help and now my brother n law is going through the same thing with his ex abusing the children. I called DHR last week to make a report on my sister n law for abuse and no one seems to care that the mother is hitting the children. I intend to let EVERYONE know that the personnel in Huntsville DHR are not what the company's mission statement states on "To provide for the protection, well-being, and self-sufficiency of children and adults..."
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