Issue with mother of my partners child (Parental Responsibilities)

My partner has a child who underwent a kidney transplant in January. Prior to this he broke his foot, so was off work for about 3 months. However, he still took a couple of weeks off work in January whilst the operation took place. He then took off one or 2 days a week (unpaid) to go up the hospital.
The operation was a success, but his son still has to go to London twice a week for check ups.
Now, the mother always, always gives him a hard time about his parenting, no matter what he does.
Anyway, he works full time Monday to Friday. The mother does not work, she is a full time parent. My partner has now said to her that he cannot take a day off every week to take his son for check ups because his boss is not happy that he is hardly ever at work, he is getting behind on his rent and cannot buy food because of the money he is losing from the days off. He has said that if he happens to get a day off he will take his son to hospital but he can't keep asking for a day off every week and he can't pay his bills anymore because of this. Not only does he lose money on the days he doesn't work but he has to spend money on lunch, travel etc on these days too which can amount to as much as £50-60
He told her this and she basically retaliated by saying he was a terrible parent, he had no resposibility, he never takes anything seriously and she is sick of the way he behaves.
Now my view on this is, she is his full time carer therefore she should be the one taking him for check ups on weekdays, as that is when he is under her care. If he needs to go up to the hospital on one of my the days my partner is his carer (every other weekend), he would take him naturally. But he is now at a risk of losing his job over this and has no money. I feel he has done everything he can but it is unreasonable to expect him to not work full time because of check ups. If the child was having an operation he would be there in a second., ut that is not what is happening right now, it is just having blood and urine tests and coming home again.
She was also annoyed at my partner recently about the same situation, so didn't tell him that his son was having an operation, then shouted at him because he wasn't there, when he had no idea it was happening. She rationalised this by saying he should have called that day to find out, despite it never having been mentioned before.
I realise that I may be biast because I am on my partners side and I have never liked this woman, pr the way she treats my partner, but I would like to know if we are in the right from a legal standpoint?


The basis of it being that: Should my partner have to take unpaid days off to take his child for check ups when the mother is perfectly capable of doing so herself?

Thank you.

Originally Posted by Unregistered My partner has a child who underwent a kidney transplant in January. Prior to this he broke his foot, so was off work for about 3 months. However, he still took a couple of weeks off work in January whilst the operation took place. He then took off one or 2 days a week (unpaid) to go up the hospital. The operation was a success, but his son still has to go to London twice a week for check ups. Now, the mother always, always gives him a hard time about his parenting, no matter what he does. Anyway, he works full time Monday to Friday. The mother does not work, she is a full time parent. My partner has now said to her that he cannot take a day off every week to take his son for check ups because his boss is not happy that he is hardly ever at work, he is getting behind on his rent and cannot buy food because of the money he is losing from the days off. He has said that if he happens to get a day off he will take his son to hospital but he can't keep asking for a day off every week and he can't pay his bills anymore because of this. Not only does he lose money on the days he doesn't work but he has to spend money on lunch, travel etc on these days too which can amount to as much as £50-60 He told her this and she basically retaliated by saying he was a terrible parent, he had no resposibility, he never takes anything seriously and she is sick of the way he behaves. Now my view on this is, she is his full time carer therefore she should be the one taking him for check ups on weekdays, as that is when he is under her care. If he needs to go up to the hospital on one of my the days my partner is his carer (every other weekend), he would take him naturally. But he is now at a risk of losing his job over this and has no money. I feel he has done everything he can but it is unreasonable to expect him to not work full time because of check ups. If the child was having an operation he would be there in a second., ut that is not what is happening right now, it is just having blood and urine tests and coming home again. She was also annoyed at my partner recently about the same situation, so didn't tell him that his son was having an operation, then shouted at him because he wasn't there, when he had no idea it was happening. She rationalised this by saying he should have called that day to find out, despite it never having been mentioned before. I realise that I may be biast because I am on my partners side and I have never liked this woman, pr the way she treats my partner, but I would like to know if we are in the right from a legal standpoint? The basis of it being that: Should my partner have to take unpaid days off to take his child for check ups when the mother is perfectly capable of doing so herself? Thank you.

this is not a matter that legally concerns you. this is between you partner and the child's mother. stay out of it

I agree. It's alarming to see so many "significant others" asking these questions instead of the parent of the child, who should be asking them.

The only thing interference of an outside party (romantically involved or not) will result in is a worse outcome.

Stay out of it and let him face his own battles.