Married women with illegitimate child during marriage

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Old Apr 13th, 2010, 01:16 PM   #1
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Default Married women with illegitimate child during marriage

Hello,
I'm in Ontario Canada. I am married last year I was unfaithful only once and became pregnant. My husband forgave me and agreed to raise the baby.1year and 2 months later the paternal father is demanding shared custody and refuses to allow my husband to adopt. What can I do? We want to refuse him access to our child. He has a history of drug use, violence and drinking and driving. We have not done a paternal blood test and we have not cone to court. The paternal father wants to make arrangments on good faith. I want my husnand to adopt my child and to ensure that at worst the paternal father have supervised access.
thanks
ontario mom
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Old Apr 13th, 2010, 05:00 PM   #2
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Default Re: Married women with illegitimate child during marriage

Sorry to inform you, but this man has a right to know his child. If he is "unsuitable" in your opinion, that is a cross you have to bear, as you chose this man to have an affair with. If you want to judge others, you cannot hold your own transgressions in a higher regard.

That said, your husband cannot adopt this child if the biological father wants to be in his child's life.

I would encourage this man to file for paternity and custody of this child.

Supervised access, indeed. Were you thinking along those lines when you lain down with him and created this child?
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Old Apr 14th, 2010, 06:05 AM   #3
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Default Re: Married women with illegitimate child during marriage

"we want to refuse him access to our child".

Good luck with that. You cannot refuse him access. Like it or not, this child is his too. Women believe they own their children simply because they carried them. It does not work that way.

It's well and good your husband was sucker enough to take your cheating ass back, but the child is not his. He has no legal right to the child.

He has a history of drugs, drinking, violence, etc? Perhaps you should have thought of that when you were bedding him down. He was good enough to have an affair with but now, in your opinion, he's not good enough to be a father to his child? You're sick.
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Old Apr 14th, 2010, 09:35 AM   #4
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Default Re: Married women with illegitimate child during marriage

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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Hello,
I'm in Ontario Canada. I am married last year I was unfaithful only once and became pregnant. My husband forgave me and agreed to raise the baby.1year and 2 months later the paternal father is demanding shared custody and refuses to allow my husband to adopt. What can I do? We want to refuse him access to our child. He has a history of drug use, violence and drinking and driving. We have not done a paternal blood test and we have not cone to court. The paternal father wants to make arrangments on good faith. I want my husnand to adopt my child and to ensure that at worst the paternal father have supervised access.
thanks
ontario mom
you should have thought of this berfore you laid down and got pregnant by this man-he will have rights once he establishes paternity, and there wont be anything you or your husband can do about itand btw, if your husband signed the bc knowing he wasnt the father, you both commited the crime of fraud-and you could end up losing custody.
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Old Apr 15th, 2010, 01:24 PM   #5
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Default Re: Married women with illegitimate child during marriage

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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Hello,
I'm in Ontario Canada. I am married last year I was unfaithful only once and became pregnant. My husband forgave me and agreed to raise the baby.1year and 2 months later the paternal father is demanding shared custody and refuses to allow my husband to adopt. What can I do? We want to refuse him access to our child. He has a history of drug use, violence and drinking and driving. We have not done a paternal blood test and we have not cone to court. The paternal father wants to make arrangments on good faith. I want my husnand to adopt my child and to ensure that at worst the paternal father have supervised access.
thanks
ontario mom
you can fight that who is on the birth certifercate...and if ur husband is on there and that man hasnt been there u can fight to have his rights taken away that same probem happend to my sister.... her husband now signed the certifercate and her ex wanted to see my nephew the judge took his rights away
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Old Apr 16th, 2010, 07:57 AM   #6
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Default Re: Married women with illegitimate child during marriage

Isn't that lovely. This woman went outside the bonds of matrimony and willfully put herself in the position (pardon the pun) of having a child with a man who isn't her husband and you're suggesting the biological father will have his rights taken away by a judge because of it?

This is just another example of a woman being rewarded for the very same immoral act that the man is punished for by the court system and society in general.

There are some very twisted people living in the world today.
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Old Apr 18th, 2010, 08:06 PM   #7
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Default Re: Married women with illegitimate child during marriage

is your husband planning on signing the birth certificate? A great deal of this could depend on how strong your marriage is now after the affair and whether or not your husband and you can stay united. If you both raise this child as yours (birth certificate and all), he may not have much to do. Your husband is more than likely considered the legal father since you are married (depending on your location). That helps you!
Good luck! Mistakes are made; learn from them.
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