fighting with/for my teenage son for his daughter.

[grandmasblue]

I don't know where to start. I guess in the beginning will do.
It was the summer of 2004 and my sons father’s girlfriend wanted my son to come visit for the summer to be with his father, against my better judgment, I let him go... oh what a mistake I have just made but didn't now it.
Every thing was going well, I thought until around Christmas time when my son came home from a weekend visit with his dad, He had hickeys on his neck that made me start to question what was going on over there, well at the time, my sons father girlfriend had 3 children her self two girls one boy. At that time there ages were 16 and under the oldest one being the girl, my son at that time was 14. Now in 2007 she is 18 and my son 16. I had talked to my sons father and his girlfriend about what was going on and they assured me nothing was going on and they would put a stop to what ever it was going on, and for me not to worry. ( lol I should have) I was told in Dec 2005 that the oldest daughter was pregnant and it was by my sons baby. Oh boy, what was I going to do and at this time his father had stopped dealing with this girlfriend and thought it was funny with what was going on, I was floored. I had continued to let my son go over there not knowing he was dealing with this older girl but friends with the younger boy as they became friends, what a trick they pulled over my eyes. well there was nothing I could do and with my sons raging emotions, I continued to let my son see this girl as it was too late for me to do anything and my sons father has now left the picture again. To bring things up to speed a little. The next nine months were hell. This girl comes from a very dysfunctional family I have learned over time. Many fight between this girl and her mom, some bad ones at that to the point were the police have dropped her off at my house for a couple of days until she and her mom could work things out, Once while she was pregnant and 2 time after baby was born. This was crazy. well the baby was born Sept. 2006, the girl now 17 about to be 18 and my son 16. Beautiful little girl (baby girl). every things going ok, we get baby girl for the weekend, visits and then Dec 2006 my son and her have a fall out. what, she just found out that a 16 year old cant do what a 23 year old could? My son will finish school!!! And not sit up under her all day. well that's were the bull starts. also during this time baby girl was born, I noticed something wrong with one of her eyes. It just wasn't following objects as I thought it should, it seemed off on its own. well test come back she has SOD Septo-Optic Dysplasia. GREAT! poor baby girl is 100% blind with other stuff to follow. well I had my son take a blood/genetic testing which showed him to be the father 99.9%
Ok so now we know for sure he is the dad, Oh before I forget, she is now dating my sons cousin on his father side and tried to put a order of protection on him for the verbal fights they got into over the matter of her cheating on him, we took that to court and proved no domestic abuse happen but the verbal, so a harassment order restraining was place. (Great). So my son can not see his daughter nor can I see my granddaughter, Oh the girl says I can come over to her house and visit, but who would want to do that. not in there crazy house hold. and how fair is that to my son? none. so she has the upper hand for now. I am going to fight for my sons rights to be a father, I cant afford a lawyer and the state wont appoint me one right now, I am waiting on child support to get the paper work rolling and the court to adjudicate him the father, I am told this could take a year. poor baby girl, I feel for what this child will have to grow up in and the surrounding she is in, loud music, men in and out, drinking, smoking. a couple of weeks after she was born, I brought my mom to visit baby girl at the girls house and it was Sept/Oct about 6-7pm and they were sitting outside with baby in a port a crib in the middle of everything a card table was up with men playing bones and drinking music playing, smoking, and here was baby girl in the middle of it, my mom was floored, but what could we do. Nothing because my son didn't sign any paper work there for had no rights. I guess at this point trying to hold my cool I am stuck. asking for any help I could get. I am sure I missed a lot of stuff I didn't mention as my head is clouded as what to do next. we are so broken hearted over this matter in not seeing baby girl. I could just flip my lid. (nice way to put it) and I refuse to work under her terms as to who/where/how I can see baby. not fair, she didn't make this baby by her self. If she wanted it that way she should of went to a sperm bank.
we have missed 2-3 months of her life already, and waiting for the court, we might miss a year. which I don't want to happen, I tried to email to her with no answer back. nicely I might add.
The email sent:
“I want to know if we can work this out with out having to drag it all out in court,
My son has a right to see his daughter regardless how you feel, This is about baby girl.
We would like to have her every other weekend Friday 5pm to Sunday 5pm, every other holiday and share her birthday; you got her on mother’s day and my son on father’s day. In the summer until she starts school, every other week. I am hoping we can come to an agreement and what I stated above sounds good. You have already held her back from us for a couple of months now.
You know my son can not come to your house to see her. We understand baby girl has medical problems, this should not stop her from being able to see her father at his house. Every one has moved on and nobody is thinking about you and your love life. We all want what's best for baby girl and that's it. Please let me know if we can agree to this or do I have to start court procedures for my son on his rights to be a father. Looking forward from hearing from you soon on this matter. “
*End of email* & No response. I didnt think this was bad to ask. but I guess she did. and as I looked into things on helping my son, I found nothing. so I cant start court procedures now and am very upset about it. well I am going to end this here for now, hoping to get some responses or anything on what I can do for my sons rights as a father living in MN.
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.

A Mother fighting for her son alone.

Every biological father has the right to visitation--is that what you are asking and seeking now?

[grandmasblue]

Yes it is. It just seem's without a lawyer to help speed things up and with babys medical problem's, there might not be a year to wait, we dont even know her full condition.

You can still file in court and ask for a hearing yourself if need be,

sounds like a bad karma from beginning, I would of step out the picture just as well as his sons father did, I hope your not laughing now!