Can I get full custody?

I'll try to be brief. My ex and I have been divorced for almost 7 years. We agreed upon joint custody of our daughter who was then 2 years old. Since our divorce, we have both remarried and have other children. Our daughter vurrently visits each of us for 1 week at a time and we rotate holidays. My husband and I are getting ready to move out of state... I have made my ex aware of our move. The school system is better in the state we are moving to, plus I am a stay at home mom and would be able to devote more of my time with our daughter... ex works from 9am - 8pm usually Monday - Saturday. Also, my daughter is a diabetic. We have had instances in the past few weeks as well as the past few years of her sneaking food when she is in the care of her step-mother (if you know anything about diabetes then you know that eatig without taking insulin could really be life threatening). My ex is suppose to keep insurance on our daughter (according to our divorce papers) but he has not since 2002. Also, he has other financial issues (bad checks, repossesed vehicles) and I feel that my current husband and I are more capable of taking care of our daughter financially as well as medically. Our daughter, who is almost 9 years old has stated that she wants to live with us and not her dad and step-mother as long as she will be able to see her dad on weekends and holidays. She has a step-brother at her dad's house and they do NOT get along. She has also remarked feeling "left out" when it comes to her step-mom as well. I really don't want to go to court (mostly because of the time and legal fees) if we can work this out and get it in writing ourselves. So, I just wondered legally if I have enough to push him into lettig me take her. ANY advice would be helpful. Oh - we are in the state of Virginia.

[missingmyhubby]

you do realize that you neeed court permission to move the child out of state? its good that you informed dad, but you also need to inform the court, and get thier ok. and your daughter doesnt get to decide whom to live with untill she is 18

More to the story... since our daughter has been at her dad's (a total of 4 days) she has snuck more food - a total of three more times. It is gettingto the point that I am worried about her well-being. She doesn't do it at my house and she doesn't do it when her father is at home, but only when she is supervised by her step-mother. I'm not saying that she is a bad parent, but obviously something is wrong or missing there... attention? I don't know. I just hope that someone will respond and tell me what to do now. Thanks!

You need to get onto your daughter about the whole "sneaking" food business. She is old enough to know better and the step mom can't be held responsible for a sneaky child. You are a parent. You KNOW how they can be. Has the though accured to you that maybe your daughter is using this in hopes that it will be enough to make it so she can move in permanently with you. You could unknowingly be fueling the behavior by putting all the blame on the father and step mother.

[safetyfirst]

You might want to look into mediation before going the full on legal battle. If you can agree in mediation, the mediator can write a recommendation to the court and you both and the judge sign off on it. Just be sure you are focusing on the BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD, not which household can better parent.

well i think you just dont like the step-mom and need to get over your self... maybe she is doing the same at her dads? or if you like put a webcam there and see for yourself or send a crama on a teddybear or something like that,, than you will see for yourself,,

[PapaJohn]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

if I have enough to push him into lettig me take her.

I detest phrases like this when discussing children and parental rights. No parent should ever be PUSHED into anything.