Urgent Child Custody Situation - Addendum to Custody Arrangement

[frustratedlawabidingmom]

I have a standing court order (Pendente Lite) for child custody arrangement. We began drafting Addendum to Custody arrangement, signed it, mailed to my former husband for his signature, was informed that he "wrote all over it" changes he wanted made. I immediately sent a notice to his attorney's office of a withdrawal of my endorsement, to which his attorney responded verbally she would "Just staple your signature page to the back of the revised addendum anyway." I'm assuming because I am not represented at this time she felt she could walk all over me and proceed illegally. I filed the document withdrawing my endorsement at the courthouse in case file. His attorney filed the addendum in the case file anyway, after I gave her notice and the court notice that I was withdrawing my endorsement due to changes I had not seen nor agreed to. Also, I withdrew my endorsement because of medical neglect for the child in question that is being investigated by Child Protective Services and I chose to follow the standing Order signed by the Judge, giving me a little more time with the child and allow him to recover from his illness and time for the CPS investigation to ensue. His attorney is telling me I must turn the child over sooner as it reads in the new Addendum or legal action will ensue. The new Addendum has not been seen nor signed by the judge in the case, and, like I said, I withdrew my endorsement and notified his attorney and the court PRIOR to her filing the addendum. How should I proceed from here?
Be advised, his father has removed the child from daycare while I was at work before, took him across state lines, and kept him from me for two months...this is the situation I fear again. He was not legally punished AT ALL for the above action, and the justice system just isn't working for me right now. I can't afford an attorney because I am a single mother paying his child care, insurance, etc alone, and my former husband lives with his parents, who are paying all his legal fees for him and providing him a free home. Very frustrating situation.

You def need an attorney at this point. Make some calls, there are attorneys that will help you for free or work out payment arrangements. Call the CPS office, they have a lot of contact numbers. Ask for free legal services.

[randalljd]

The lawyer cannot do what she told you. If you don't agree with the changes then the new agreement is not valid. File a Bar Compaint or threaten to do so if that lawyer fraudulently attached your signature page. And inform the judge!

[frustratedlawabidingmom]

Originally Posted by Unregistered You def need an attorney at this point. Make some calls, there are attorneys that will help you for free or work out payment arrangements. Call the CPS office, they have a lot of contact numbers. Ask for free legal services.

In Virginia, especially in our area, the only free legal assistance is Legal Aid, and they are backed up for three months or more... and that's to get on the waiting list! Then you have to wait for people ahead of you to have their cases heard first. My son would be in kindergarten before I got a lawyer through them!! I have yet to find an attorney who works on a "payment plan", or they consider $1500 a month a "payment plan," and as a single mom, I can't afford that! They all want $5000 retainers, also. That is the ONLY legal assistance available to people who need it, and it's really a shame. Trust me, I've been looking for over a YEAR, and when it's an urgent situation, forget it. CPS just referred me to Legal Aid and that was it.

[msg]

You could try to do it without a lawyer...many people do especially in family court

Originally Posted by msg You could try to do it without a lawyer...many people do especially in family court

That's what I have to do.. I called the court myself and scheduled a court date for April 27, so I guess I'm doing it myself. I'm a good mother, there's no way he can prove me unfit, so I hope it goes well. Everyone pray for the best!

I am praying for you every day!

I am not sure if laws in your state are totally different, but here in the state of Oregon the parenting plan that has the judges signature is the only plan a parent has to go by. If you file a new plan here in oregon you can not just simply sign your name and have it called legal and enforcable. Here you must have signed it before a notary or lawyer for the signing to even be legal and not until a judge signs the new order does it take effect. We just finished this process ourselves and even though the mother was taking the children into unsafe environments there wasnt anything we could do about it, she had to be allowed parenting time as per what was written in the parenting plan signed by a judge. For us to do otherwise would mean that we could be held in contempt. If he does not allow you your time you need to file contempt papers on him and take this before a judge. You should also request for mediation if you can. A mediator is not an attorney, but is an unbiased person who can help settle parenting plan disputes outside of court and usually this is free. Ask your court facilitator about these actions. I hope this helps at least a little.

Originally Posted by Unregistered I am not sure if laws in your state are totally different, but here in the state of Oregon the parenting plan that has the judges signature is the only plan a parent has to go by. If you file a new plan here in oregon you can not just simply sign your name and have it called legal and enforcable. Here you must have signed it before a notary or lawyer for the signing to even be legal and not until a judge signs the new order does it take effect. We just finished this process ourselves and even though the mother was taking the children into unsafe environments there wasnt anything we could do about it, she had to be allowed parenting time as per what was written in the parenting plan signed by a judge. For us to do otherwise would mean that we could be held in contempt. If he does not allow you your time you need to file contempt papers on him and take this before a judge. You should also request for mediation if you can. A mediator is not an attorney, but is an unbiased person who can help settle parenting plan disputes outside of court and usually this is free. Ask your court facilitator about these actions. I hope this helps at least a little.

This case has gone on for a year and a half... we've had three temporary orders, each extending the other because my former husband will NOT settle.. he will NOT go to a mediator, and the one time we did, he demanded full custody even when he has our child with him, he leaves him with his mother FULL-TIME (that's the problem here, his MOTHER is the one that wants the child, so she's paying his legal fees and everything). We were court ordered to go to the Parenting Class... I went, he didn't. He was never formally reprimanded for that. he has kidnapped my son, taken him across state lines and withheld him from me, and he was never formally reprimanded for that. He has refused to produce his Social Security card, Birth Certificate, Day Care information, and current immunization record, even when COURT ORDERED to do so, and he has NEVER BEEN FORMALLY REPRIMANDED FOR ANY OF THIS. We have a MALE judge and he has "overlooked" all of this, and now I'm worried to death when we go to the final custody hearing the judge is going to side with him simply because he's a man. What can I do???

be patient and persistent with the judge until the judge sees this as you do and he will then sanction your ex.