custody confusion/ i need help

My ex boyfriend and i have a beautiful daughter, who will be turning one on January 8th.
There are no court documents that state who has custody.
For the first three months of her life, she was with me, constantly. I never left her, she never left my care.
Once her dad left school, he started asking to see her more, and I let him.
We've been helping each other out since I was able to go back to work. He would watch her while I worked
and would watch her some nights.

Just recently, he's sent me threatening text messages, which I've saved.
On January 1st, I had tried to get a hold of him all morning because I had a funeral I had wanted to go to.
When he finally answered, I was already making plans for my grandmother to watch my daughter.
He did not like that. He came to my house, yelling at me in front of our daughter, woke her up from her nap, and apologized to her, but in the same sentence ridiculed and disgraced me. He continued to yell at me, saying that everyday he wished I would die, that I should just slit my throat and be buried with the person I was going to the funeral for. He then left, again saying how he hated me and wished I'd die.
When my grandmother showed up, I was hysterical. I told her what had happened and she took me over to my ex boyfriend's house, and we picked up my daughter.

I want to do what's best for my daughter and for myself. But, I don't know who has custody, and what I should do to keep him from taking her away from me. I'm scared that if I let him see her without me present, that he will do exactly that.

Without court involvement, if he is the legal dad, you both have equal rights to the child. The grandmother, however, doesn't, and if your child is with her and he goes to get her, she cannot stop him.

He's obviously angry about something. Perhaps he feels jealous? If things had been going okay and all of the sudden he acts this way, something is apparently bothering him deeply. Try talking to him when he's not upset and getting to the cause of it.

This approach beats jumping off and acting rash and involving the courts when they don't need to be meddling in your personal affairs.

i wouldn't think about involving the courts, but regardless if i do now or not, once my daughter turns one, since her dad hasn't paid any child support, they'll go after him then, whether i ask them to or not.

They won't unless you've contacted the Child Support Agency in your area, and/or unless you've applied for some sort of state assistance for the child.

i need assistance. i make minimum wage. i work less than 30 hours a week. that's hardly enough to support myself. but i need to work. if i got some sort of support, it'd be easier to make sure she's well taken care of. all of my money goes toward her and i having a safe place to live, food for her to eat, and the essentials she needs.

[130smartchick]

IS he her father? In other words, has he signed an achnowledgement of paternity or done DNA? (Name on bc doesn't count).

If he hasn't been established as above, he has NO rights (or responsibilities) regarding this child.

Get him established, and get orders for support and visitation. That way you have the financial help you deserve for the child and he has time he knows he can spend being dad.

his name is on the birth certificate, that's it.
he is her dad, and he signed the birth certificate weeks, maybe even months after she was born.

[130smartchick]

He's not the legal father. Signing the bc doesn't do it. He must either sign an acknowledgement of paternity or have DNA done.

Hypothetical situation: say dad dies tomorrow, you go to SSA to collect payments child deserves having a deceased parent. Your child does not get said payments because dad was NEVER established.

Unless and until you legally establish dad, you have sole custody and he has NO rights/responsibilities.

he hasn't done either.
he thinks just because his name is on the birth certificate that he can do
whatever he pleases. which includes not paying me child support or anything else.

[130smartchick]

He's half right.

Since he's not been established as the father, he does NOT have to pay cs.

In addition, he does NOT have a moment's right to visit the child.