Can my ex control where I take the kids on vacation?

[218firefighter]

I am currently going through a divorce. We share joint custody of our two children, with her having primary physical custody. We have already been to Family Court and have child support set. Visitation was determined to be at the discretion of the parties. The divorce decree reads that neither party can remove the children from the area for a period of more than one week without the consent of the other party.

My concern is, back in September my fiancee and I arranged to go on vacation with my eldest son to Disney. The night before we were to leave my ex changed her mind and said he couldn't go, thus causing us financial loss, upsetting my son, etc. She in return, took the kids to Indiana (we reside in NY) for a week. What rights do I have under the law for visitation? Does she really have the right to not allow me to take my children to Disney, for instance? I would like to take them on vacation but she is always using the kids as a pawn to get revenge on me. What can I do??

Also, we deviated from the original child support order - as a part of our divorce. Does the divorce take precedence over the family court order of child support? The divorce papers have been signed by the Judge and should be filed in the next several days. Can she go to family court and ask for a modification of child support, as she so threatens she'll do, after we receive the filed papers back? Certain agreements were made, such as I pay a reduced amount of child support if I received a reduced amount of child support. I just don't want to end up paying the regular support plus all housing payments. I wouldn't be able to afford it.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!!!! Thank you in advance.

[able1]

You need to make the divorce and the orders consistent or one needs to refer to the other. Amend the divorce agreement if need be. The orders need to say when you get the visitation--it must be clear.

WOW! GET THAT ORDER CHANGED!!!! You CANNOT keep having the visitation "at the parties discretion"... my son's father kept my son from me for two months on those grounds, and no legal action could be taken since the custody arrangement was so vague. You must set a schedule for visitation, and no, after you have a set visitation arrangement, your child's mother cannot dictate what you do or where you go while you have the child. I believe in some states you must have their consent to take the child out of country, but to Disney World, no, she can't object to that. But you must have a written, firm schedule in order to have the law on your side in enforcing that order.