miss

have a six year old daughter with my ex. When we seperated when she was 18 months old I moved interstate with her WITH HIS PERMISSION (however was young and naive and didn't get it in writing) anyway I took her back to visit him twice and she spend 5 days with him each time. WHen she was 2 and a half he had a son with his partner at the time and stopped contacting her altoghether. 2 weeks befor her 5th birthday he got in touch with me asking to see her and i said yep no problem. He came and saw her for 2 days 12 months ago and hasn't been back since. I have made every effort to encourage him to come and establish a relationship with her and he hasn't done it. Now all of a sudden he is claiming i didn't have his permission and wants her to go interstate half of all school holidays. My argument is he need to establish a relationship with her before he can expect her to go interstate to stay with him which she of course doesn't want to do but would like to see him and get to know him here first. She is only 6. Plus i am also concerned that when he came here he uploaded a half naked photo of my minor child onto his facebook page ( completely inappropriate ). during our relationship there were many incidences of him physicall and emotional abuse towards me infront of our daughter who was a baby at the time, I dont have much proof though as i was too scared to report it.

My main question is whether the court will see the fact that he never seeked to have me bring our daughter back to the state however was in contact with us for a 12 month period after we moved so knew where we were as being proof that I had his permission?

Also I have told my daughter what he wants as I want her to be prepared if she is forced and since telling her she has wet herself on 5 occassions (She has been totally dry day and night for 3 and a half years).

He only started paying regular maintenence approx 6 months ago when I discovered that he was working for his father and i told child support.

Well....that is what child support brings. Money makes many a disinterested dad suddenly interested.

What is your driving distance? He will likely get half of all summers, every other Christmas and every other spring break. Lay off on telling your daughter this stuff. If she talks about it, YOU be excited for her. It's an adventure! WOW - it will be GREAT!!!

Work WITH him. The courts won't care if he hadn't seen her at all in 6yrs. Offer him 4 days over Christmas to start, then half of spring break. Then 1 week of summer followed by 2 then 1 more week before school starts. This will give her time to settle at dads, but not too much time to freak out. Buy her a pay as you go cell phone to keep in touch with you. Drive time is kinda critical to figuring out exactly what can be done. The most important thing is to get your daughter EXCITED about it. Your nerves are feeding her nerves. You need to tell her that there is nothing at all to worry about, that daddy is a parent just like you are.

Find your counties standard long distance schedule. Ask at juvenile court if they have a copy (forgive spelling errors). Unless he has court convictions involving harming a minor, he will get standard time at a minimum.