custody/visitation

what do I need to do in order to go about getting a visitation order/custody of my child. I have been in and out of the child life and I have depression issues. I am seeking help for my issues but I would like to start seeing my child. The other parent and I had an agreement in place outside of court. I made several mistakes and the other parent has discontinued our agreement. What steps do I take. I know I have been a bad parent but I do love my child.

Any advice?

File for visitation with the courts. Then it will be court ordered and she will be unable (without legal consequences) to withhold the child and dictate whether you get to be in your child's life or not. It is not her decision to make.

Do I need a lawyer? What documentation do I need. I have not been a good father and she has proof. Will that hold up in court.

Whether or not you have been a good father, you have the right to be your child's father. The mother cannot dictate your presence. You simply need to file for visitation with the courts. Go to your local courthouse and they will tell you which forms you need.

Fathers are not mere babysitters the mother can dictate to on whether or not they can see their own children. Mothers do not exclusively own the children.

Originally Posted by Unregistered Do I need a lawyer? What documentation do I need. I have not been a good father and she has proof. Will that hold up in court.

You may need to go to mediation or at least schedule mediation concurrent with getting the court date. Some states make you go to mediation and try to reach an agreement before coming to court (CA does). You can still file with the court for the hearing but also need to schedule a mediation appt before the court date. If you reach an agreement in mediation, you can cancel the court hearing. Although you may have messed up, it does not matter. What matter is you are doing something now. No matter how terrible you have been unless you have committed unthinkable crimes, the court will grant you visitation because it is important in the courts eyes for the child to have contact with BOTH parents. In mediation, the parties try to come to an agreement without involving the courts so it will take cooperation on both ends. Do not let the ex run you over in mediation though. If you do not feel comfortable with the agreement in mediation, then do not settle. You may end up with more in court. Standard should be every other weekend and one evening per week (if you are within a certain distance) considering that the child is at least 2-3 years old. In mediation they will recommend joint legal custody do not take less. In the court, they may not give you joint legal custody so be careful to make sure you get joint legal custody. Once you do not have joint legal custody it is harder to get it back. Good luck!

I have never had my child sleep over and I have not showed up for my visitation. At one point I went 6 months with out calling or helping in any way shape or form. THe other parent ended the visitation agreement we had because I have not showed up for the past for weeks. I have an issue with depression. Also I missed my childs b-day and I never call. Is that going to be a problem for me? I just need to know what I am up againist.

I think you need to get help before you should be a part of your childs life. You say you have depression issues and your not a good father and everyone tells you to file a motion. That is stupid! Why would you tell someone who admits he is a bad father to file a motion....Maybe you should just leave things how they are.

Originally Posted by Unregistered I think you need to get help before you should be a part of your childs life. You say you have depression issues and your not a good father and everyone tells you to file a motion. That is stupid! Why would you tell someone who admits he is a bad father to file a motion....Maybe you should just leave things how they are.

because that is being a bad father. the past is the past what the court cares about is the NOW and that is most important. step up and be a father to your child.