New dad in TROUBLE!!!!

[mell6406]

Kansas city Missouri

I had my first (and only) child with my ex back in Feb 2008, In Oct. 2008 my EX and I got an appartment that we where together in until July 31st of 2009. Shortly after we moved out we broke up, my EX lost her job in march of 2009 and is now still unemployed she lives with her mother and i moved out alone since 9-1-2009. Since that time i have been getting my son every weekend b/c I/we didnt have the funds to put him in daycare, Well now I'm in a situtation where i can put him in daycare so i can have him every other week(she gets a week and I get a week) and shes telling me "no weekends are fine", now I come to find out that she is about to apply for assisstence from the state which(from my understanding will result in me paying child support)I am currently in the process of taking her to court so i can get 50/50 time with my son. I just wanted to know what steps should I take and what are my chances of this ending ok for me??

Originally Posted by mell6406 Kansas city Missouri I had my first (and only) child with my ex back in Feb 2008, In Oct. 2008 my EX and I got an appartment that we where together in until July 31st of 2009. Shortly after we moved out we broke up, my EX lost her job in march of 2009 and is now still unemployed she lives with her mother and i moved out alone since 9-1-2009. Since that time i have been getting my son every weekend b/c I/we didnt have the funds to put him in daycare, Well now I'm in a situtation where i can put him in daycare so i can have him every other week(she gets a week and I get a week) and shes telling me "no weekends are fine", now I come to find out that she is about to apply for assisstence from the state which(from my understanding will result in me paying child support)I am currently in the process of taking her to court so i can get 50/50 time with my son. I just wanted to know what steps should I take and what are my chances of this ending ok for me??

file for custody, get a lawyer and let him/her do the work for you in your best interest.

if you are trying to do 50/50 to not pay support, diesnt work that way in Missouri.

You don't pay support if you each have the child 50%.

But the court order if any must say that as the order governs until changed no matter what you two agree.

Originally Posted by Unregistered if you are trying to do 50/50 to not pay support, diesnt work that way in Missouri.

did he say that? sounds more like he wants a relationship with his child.

[Gbyte]

YOU DO pay support in 50/50 if incomes are different and/or if it's not possible to split all things down the middle.

50/50 sucks for kids (with it "working" in maybe a rare few families). You find a second house and move every week....see how you like it. That's something I think ALL parents that want 50/50 should have to do for a year prior to forcing their kids to do it. I've seen my nieces go through it...and some of my friends kids. They confide in "non-parents" and then pretend they are OK with the parents.

If you want 50/50...the "best" schedule in my opinion (which my one niece is on) is a 2/2/3. Bounces the kid around like crazy though (better for younger kids however). But the week on week off gets the child just settled into a "new" routine, then they move back with the other parent for the next week. I coach soccer and feel so bad for a little girl on this schedule. Poor thing is miserable...the parents though are "tickled" and think it works great. I think...no correction...I KNOW they are blind.

Those of you that will jump me and say 50/50 is great....ask your child when 30 or 40. When they are finally ready to tell you the truth after lying for so many years. 50/50 may be "great" for the NCP that would otherwise have everyother weekend and mid-week...but it sucks for the kids.

50/50 is best for the children. They have equal access to both parents. I wish I would have had 50/50 when I was a kid. My mother got physical custody and she was crazy (love her but she was crazy). Having 50/50 would have taken away some of the stress on us girls. Finally, when I was 13 and my sister was 16 she let us go live with my dad. Turns out mom wasn't getting what she used to get in child support anymore.

[Gbyte]

I would guess...and that is all it can be is a guess as we can't live our lives over...that sole custody with your dad and every other weekend with your mom (and mid-week) may have been better for you. I've seen kids live 50/50 - SEVERAL families. I've never seen happy/well adjusted children - though maybe there are some somewhere.

Sorry for how your situation turned out... Glad you got away towards the end though.

Originally Posted by Gbyte I would guess...and that is all it can be is a guess as we can't live our lives over...that sole custody with your dad and every other weekend with your mom (and mid-week) may have been better for you. I've seen kids live 50/50 - SEVERAL families. I've never seen happy/well adjusted children - though maybe there are some somewhere. Sorry for how your situation turned out... Glad you got away towards the end though.

you dont know sheet biatch. just go away your man hating advice is not wanted we see through your crap.

Originally Posted by Unregistered You don't pay support if you each have the child 50%. But the court order if any must say that as the order governs until changed no matter what you two agree.

Yes you do in Missouri. They only credit the NCP with 33% credit, even of they have the child 50%