HELP -The rules when it comes to signing your parental rights in California -HELP!!!!

[Daisy]

My bf have been contacted by his ex-wife’s lawyer’s intern a few weeks back stating that she’ll take him to court on the basis of abandonment and evoke his parental rights that way. She then said that she can give him the option to voluntarily give him his parental rights and allow her new husband to adopt the kids and by doing this she will agree that my bf will no longer be financially responsible for their children.

I find this situation suspicious bc the intern will only communicate with him through text messages. When he asked to speak to the lawyer the intern said that he’s busy right now but will call my bf but we still haven’t spoken to anyone. For all my bf knows it could be a fake set up and there are no lawyers involvement.
I’ve given my bf the advice to seek out his own legal team to ensure that that his rights are protected and that he’ll go through the correct process in giving everyone what they want. I’m not pushing my bf into doing something that he doesn’t already want to do but with the suspicious situation that he’s in I have a gut feeling something is going to wrong. My bf understand how other’s will judge him for the choices he’ll be making and bc of that he’s having a hard time reaching out to others for help. That is why I’ve come here to get the advice and hear other people experiences and hopeful learn from them to help understand the situation that my bf is in right now. Things are very overwhelming and if he ever finally accepts that he needs legal help its only going to be expensive.

We’re located here in Fresno, California so if anyone is familiar with Family laws please respond by to me please.

wow what a great father..signing over his rights just so he doesn't have to pay. poor kids

I don't think this person was asking for YOUR judgement. You're obviously in the wrong place.

This may sound harsh, but your boyfriend's decision is his to make, not yours. You have no business in this matter. If he wishes to sign over his rights, he is free to do so. He may request that in return for signing over his rights so that a stepfather can adopt, that he be relieved of the financial obligation, as the children will still have two parents who are able to support them. Some here may not like it, but that is the way it is sometimes.

You cannot push him to do anything at this point that he does not want to do, and frankly, it's not your fight to battle out. Again, it's not any of your concern and you really should not be pushing him in any particular direction. While it's realized you have good intentions, you legally have no business concerning yourself with his affairs.

I don't think this person was asking for YOUR judgement. You're obviously in the wrong place.


you're probably the same person who bashes every single woman on here in every single post. maybe you're in the wrong place

Apparently it is you who is in the wrong place. An attorney would wonder why a girlfriend is concerning herself with a serious issue that is the father's battle to fight. Legally speaking, the father needs to take care of this matter, not anyone who is not legally connected to the child. The mother and father are the only two people who have any legal right whatsoever.

FYI: it's judgment. Not judgement.

If you can't handle the comments left on this forum, perhaps you might want to save your blood pressure by discontinuing posting here? To even suggest everyone on here is the same poster who is "bashing women", which I don't see happening, is asinine and completely unfounded.

You "obviously" don't have any advice to give except "bashing" the people who do. You've already responded to two posts with the same exact diatribe.

An intern is not risking their career- they have no career

[Daisy]

I'm sorry for giving people the wrong impression about myself but no I'm not pushing him into doing anything that he doesn't already want to do. All I'm here to do is support him. Everyone has made a personal choice in their life that other people may not understand or agree. I came here to this place to better understand the law and learn from other people's experience in family law. This has been a overwhelming process for him and I'm hoping that by reaching out to others we can better understand his complicated situation. He didn't initially want to give up his parental rights. The ex-wife contacted him with the use of an intern from her lawyer stating that she's going to take my bf to court and file for abandonment and go through that process to evoke his rights. But before she results to that, she offered him the choice to voluntarly give up his parental rights and if he follows through then she will agree to not have him be financially responsible for the children anymore. My bf thought long and hard and to avoid the long dreadful process of the courts and he decided to do it on his own. Because he's doing it on his own, I'm worried that in the mist of all the process he could some how do it all wrong and eventually have his rights stepped on by having her taking advantage of him.

[Gbyte]

If the children are adopted, the "former father" - as that is what he will be - is no longer required to financially support the children. If there are arrears, he will need to continue to pay until those are caught up.

The interin/txt message thing is odd. He could request that papers be sent to him regarding the proposed adoption (ie - what he'd have to sign). How long since he's seen the children?

Your boyfriend does not have to discuss anything about the case except with the attorney and can choose the format of communication. Usually, attorneys can or will set up a conference/meeting with the parties involved. If you boyfriend signs off on these children, he will have no right to contact or see them again until they are 18 years old and if they want to once they are 18. This is a big decision. The only way for abadonment to happen is to not see the children for 1 year or more. I assume he owes back child support and that's why he is considering this action. He should talk to the family law facilitator's office to find out what his rights are. They do not normally help with adoptions, but can lead you in the right direction of someone who can provide some sort of help. Also, he should find out that this lawyer is legit. Call the office of the lawyer directly confirming this is a real office. Research the ABA website to confirm this is an active lawyer. Additionally, the texting is probably to receive record of his intent in the children's lives or get him to admit to certain information which may be used against him if he backs out of the deal to show character. I believe negotiation settlement discussions are irrelevant in court though.