Do I have to force my 11yr old daughter to see her father if she doesn't want to??

[nikki1981]

I live in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. My daughter is 11 years old and does not want to see her father at all. She even refuses to talk to him on the phone. Her father has not been an active part of her life for years. In fact, He moved across the country about 2 years ago and never even told her he was going. Since then he has only seen our daughter twice. He calls occasionally but she won't talk. She has said numerous times that she wishes he would just leave her alone. Even when he was in Windsor, he only saw her occasionally, and when he did she would come home complaining that he would leave her with babysitters ans strangers. She also told me that he would do drugs and drink in front of her. I halted all visitation at that point and he didn't seem to care. I do not have legal custody as we have never been to court for any of this.

Recently, her father called and began threatening me. He said that he could take me to court to force our daughter to see him. I expalined that it was not my choice for her to stay with me but rather our daughters choice. He said he spoke to a lawyer and was told that our daughter's wishes do not matter and that a judge would order me to force her to see him!!! She decided to talk to him at that point and told him that she doesn't want to ever see him again and that if he tried to force her she would run away forever. She hung up on him and then suffered a panic attack. She was hyperventilating and crying and it took about 30 mins to calm her down.

I am terrified for my daughter's mental health and overall well-being. She has already been diagnosed with depression and was medicated for it for a while but since her dad has been out of her life she was weaned off her medication. She currently sees a doctor for her depression and her ADHD and i'm sure she will end up on more meds because of this.

Can he really force her to see him against her wishes?? At what age can she legally make the decision for herself??

PLEASE HELP

A very concerned mother,
Nicole

Originally Posted by nikki1981 I live in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. My daughter is 11 years old and does not want to see her father at all. She even refuses to talk to him on the phone. Her father has not been an active part of her life for years. In fact, He moved across the country about 2 years ago and never even told her he was going. Since then he has only seen our daughter twice. He calls occasionally but she won't talk. She has said numerous times that she wishes he would just leave her alone. Even when he was in Windsor, he only saw her occasionally, and when he did she would come home complaining that he would leave her with babysitters ans strangers. She also told me that he would do drugs and drink in front of her. I halted all visitation at that point and he didn't seem to care. I do not have legal custody as we have never been to court for any of this. Recently, her father called and began threatening me. He said that he could take me to court to force our daughter to see him. I expalined that it was not my choice for her to stay with me but rather our daughters choice. He said he spoke to a lawyer and was told that our daughter's wishes do not matter and that a judge would order me to force her to see him!!! She decided to talk to him at that point and told him that she doesn't want to ever see him again and that if he tried to force her she would run away forever. She hung up on him and then suffered a panic attack. She was hyperventilating and crying and it took about 30 mins to calm her down. I am terrified for my daughter's mental health and overall well-being. She has already been diagnosed with depression and was medicated for it for a while but since her dad has been out of her life she was weaned off her medication. She currently sees a doctor for her depression and her ADHD and i'm sure she will end up on more meds because of this. Can he really force her to see him against her wishes?? At what age can she legally make the decision for herself?? PLEASE HELP A very concerned mother, Nicole

do you allow your daughter to decide she isnt going to school, or what time she comes home? as long as dad has a court order for visitation, your daughter must go, or she could eventually be living with dad and visting you. she can choose not to see him when shes 18, untill then, she has no choice

[Gbyte]

She stated there was no court order.

But yes...a court can force visitation.

You MUST encourage her strongly to give her father another chance. Make sure she believes your sincerity on how important her father is (even if you don't believe it SHE must). Try for a dinner once or twice a week and go from there. If she absolutely refuses, you need to seek help from a professional (counselor/mediator).

I agree. I am in the same situation with my 14 year old and the court almost punished me because she wd not go to the visits.

You just have to make it work somehow.