Unmarried father and I live in different states

[mychild2007]

Now that the father of my child who is 2 has been found and has to pay child support he wants to take him every other month to Arizona. I live in Georgia and am scared to death. He is married and I don't know how long he has known the lady he is married to but he left me pregnant, kept in touch for a few monts then dropped out of site til he was found and made to pay support.

The child support office in Arizona and supposedly the one in my state handled the child support agreement. I was told not to worry. Well it states in the agreement that he gets to claim him four out of five years on taxes. I was not there but he showed up in court and I guess cause he did he was favored, I don;t know. Anyway now he wants him every other month and I truly believe it is because he has to have him six months out of the year in order to claim him. This means if I pay child care I can't claim that on taxes.

My main concern tho is the fact his motive is money. His wife was furious about the child. He never told her until he was taken to court. When he left me he told me if I kept the child he would figure a way to get him half the time so as not to pay as much support or none at all. He wasn't having anyone taking his money. It seems that is what he is doing now. He has called constantly during the last few months. I have not answered the phone since he wanted to come get him for two months. I don't know anything about Arizona nor do I know his wife. Unfortunely I was with him for a short while and believed it would be long term. This whole thing scares me. Alls I know is she is totally against my child Now he is threatning court action so he can get him half the time .

I wonder if he can get him half the time and When he takes it to court will it be in my state or his?

[MenRparents2]

He can have the modification made up in AZ along with the child support too. Most likely though is the court is going to look at the home state rule. That is the child residence is in one state for 6 months. As far as the other stuff is concerned it is another one of those things. Both of you need to focus on the child and what is best. If you two can put any vengence away and work toward being parents, then you won't need court. If not, then you will.

[Gbyte]

Every other month? NOT. Don't just agree to that. Imagine what it will be like when the child starts school.

You have so many days to contest the child support order. Talk to your attorney at the child support office and contest. Don't give the tax exemption up. ALSO - even if he does get the right to claim the child - which you should fight - you can claim your child care on your taxes.

See if you can lower the amount. I know it sucks, but if you take the majority of the burden - he may back off on the custody issue.

What's the travel time between your two homes? I don't think I'd even let him take the child out of state without a custody order. He can pick up the child, drive across state lines, lie and get emergency custody.

How long have you been in Georgia? How long before he filed in AZ had you been in GA? If you and the chld have been residents there, the Arizona judgment will not stand as he would have to file in your venue

[mychild2007]

The childs father was in the military and stated here in Georgia. He left while I was still pregnat. He told me he was not giving his money to anyone. If I chose to have the child he would stand behind me but he was not willing to pay. He said he would try to get the child half the time to prevent paying. It seems that is exactly what he is trying to do now. He tried to get me to abort him and I just could not do it. He showed up in court in Arizona for the child support hearing. I was told I didnt have to show that I would be represented. Yet he got lowered child support and they added that he would be able to claim him on taxes 4 out of 5 years. This reallly hurt. I did not know til now that I could contest this. This order was put in effect last year. He has worked hard to pay off the back child support so he can claim him. It is stated in the order that his support has to be up to date in order to do this. I am frightned that he will be able to get him 2 months on and 2 months off. The child is only 2 1/2 and from what the father has told me his wife hates my child. He married her with out telling her he had a child. She has agreed to this I am sure so that at least they can claim my child on taxes. This problably would not have happened if I would have known I could have contested the order. The thought of her caring for my child while the father is at work scares me to death. It's not like I can drive an hour and check on him this is clear across the country. I don't know if he has something going on in court now. He left a message that if I didn't talk about him picking him up now for two months that he would have it in court. I would be stupid to give him the child with nothing in writing. I am so upset I don't know what to do. I was told by a friend that he would have to file here where the child lives. I have lived here for seventeen years. I am 33 years old

Originally Posted by mychild2007 The childs father was in the military and stated here in Georgia. He left while I was still pregnat. He told me he was not giving his money to anyone. If I chose to have the child he would stand behind me but he was not willing to pay. He said he would try to get the child half the time to prevent paying. It seems that is exactly what he is trying to do now. He tried to get me to abort him and I just could not do it. He showed up in court in Arizona for the child support hearing. I was told I didnt have to show that I would be represented. Yet he got lowered child support and they added that he would be able to claim him on taxes 4 out of 5 years. This reallly hurt. I did not know til now that I could contest this. This order was put in effect last year. He has worked hard to pay off the back child support so he can claim him. It is stated in the order that his support has to be up to date in order to do this. I am frightned that he will be able to get him 2 months on and 2 months off. The child is only 2 1/2 and from what the father has told me his wife hates my child. He married her with out telling her he had a child. She has agreed to this I am sure so that at least they can claim my child on taxes. This problably would not have happened if I would have known I could have contested the order. The thought of her caring for my child while the father is at work scares me to death. It's not like I can drive an hour and check on him this is clear across the country. I don't know if he has something going on in court now. He left a message that if I didn't talk about him picking him up now for two months that he would have it in court. I would be stupid to give him the child with nothing in writing. I am so upset I don't know what to do. I was told by a friend that he would have to file here where the child lives. I have lived here for seventeen years. I am 33 years old

guess what??? that is HIS child as much as YOURS. while he laid down with you, you did the same. you can contest all you want, but the likely hood of the order being changed is VERY low. He has a right as well as the child has the right to have dad in his/her life. Courts have wised up some, and it IS in the best intrest of the child to have a relationship with BOTH parents. You don't even know his wife, how would you know she hates this child? how could you even think that? Sounds more like you want control, and just get child support while taking this child away from their father. GO DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Gbyte]

You can request a review of child support every three years. To late to contest now.... Earlier if there is a dramitic change in circumstances.

I don't understand the tax exemption mentality courts have. Its for the parent that RAISES the child (from the IRS). Not a return of child support. My ex was granted the every other year deduction...he has her 30% of the time and 6 overnights a month and got his child support reduced by 50%. Now, my increased tax burden every other year is MORE than I recieve in child support in two years. So....I don't get child support anymore, he does - even though I raise the child 70% of the time (with an almost standard schedule). His "child support" will be about $800 every 2 years (ie he pays 3k in child support every two years and will get a $3800 tax return).

[Gbyte]

Originally Posted by Unregistered guess what??? that is HIS child as much as YOURS. while he laid down with you, you did the same. you can contest all you want, but the likely hood of the order being changed is VERY low. He has a right as well as the child has the right to have dad in his/her life. Courts have wised up some, and it IS in the best intrest of the child to have a relationship with BOTH parents. You don't even know his wife, how would you know she hates this child? how could you even think that? Sounds more like you want control, and just get child support while taking this child away from their father. GO DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This kind of negative bashing is not welcome here.

[mychild2007]

I know she hates the child because the father of the child told me when I spoke to him. How would you like to realease the child knowing that? HE also said he didn't want the child. He just doesn;t want to pay for a chld and said so. He said he was going to have a baby with his wife to pay less.for this child. I would like child to have a relationship with him. I am the one who encouraged it until he told me about his wife.

[mychild2007]

I think you need to walk in my shoes instead of in the box thinking. This guy left me pregnant, ran like a chicken and when I called to let him know he had a boy he changed his phone number. Then the very same month he had to pay he called to ask how I liked the money. Get Real