Advice

I have a child who father has been in and out of her life. His father can’t hold a job, doesn’t pay taxes and suffers from depression...etc. However he had been working for 6 or so months. I had a garnishment in place for child support so I am now getting money and the back pay is also being paid.

As far as visitation I have never kept our daughter from him (he will say I have but I haven’t). I have several emails back and fourth to where I am trying to make arrangements with him. Neither of us would like to go back to court. However when he decides he cant make it on his date and time he just doesn’t show or I get a text message an hour before he is supposed to get her saying sorry I cant make it. I also think he uses drugs (I have no physical proof) although I have had several talks with him about it and he does not deny it...plus we have mutual friends and the girls talk so I have an idea of the kind of lifestyle he is living.

He keeps saying I am not being fair as far as visitation however his only suggestion for visitation is every other weekend. Which I am not ok with considering our child has never slept at his house before and he lives in a party house. Every time I suggest something he can’t commit to it.

What do I do? Take him to court? Ignore him? Wait until he takes me to court? Would the court grant him visitation.

Oh and if your a women hater please don’t respond I have gone through enough already raising a child on my own and dealing with her father I don’t need to hear your nasty comments.

What exactly are you asking?

[BByte]

Originally Posted by Unregistered I have a child who father has been in and out of her life. His father can’t hold a job, doesn’t pay taxes and suffers from depression...etc. However he had been working for 6 or so months. I had a garnishment in place for child support so I am now getting money and the back pay is also being paid. As far as visitation I have never kept our daughter from him (he will say I have but I haven’t). I have several emails back and fourth to where I am trying to make arrangements with him. Neither of us would like to go back to court. However when he decides he cant make it on his date and time he just doesn’t show or I get a text message an hour before he is supposed to get her saying sorry I cant make it. I also think he uses drugs (I have no physical proof) although I have had several talks with him about it and he does not deny it...plus we have mutual friends and the girls talk so I have an idea of the kind of lifestyle he is living. He keeps saying I am not being fair as far as visitation however his only suggestion for visitation is every other weekend. Which I am not ok with considering our child has never slept at his house before and he lives in a party house. Every time I suggest something he can’t commit to it. What do I do? Take him to court? Ignore him? Wait until he takes me to court? Would the court grant him visitation. Oh and if your a women hater please don’t respond I have gone through enough already raising a child on my own and dealing with her father I don’t need to hear your nasty comments.

So if you are getting CS, I will assume paternity has been established. I know some people on here would say to NOT go to court, I would. He is entitled to visitation, so set it up through the court. Then, as he doesnt exercise what he is entitled to, you can change it and not get yourself in trouble.

[Gbyte]

80% of posters here are woman haters...just a warning.

Yes, a court would probably grant him every other weekend without proof of imminent harm (and likely mid-week for a couple of hours). If you were never married to the father, you can't take him to court for custody/visitation. You already have it and can't start a suit for him to get visitation. He needs to do that.

Originally Posted by Gbyte 80% of posters here are woman haters...just a warning. Yes, a court would probably grant him every other weekend without proof of imminent harm (and likely mid-week for a couple of hours). If you were never married to the father, you can't take him to court for custody/visitation. You already have it and can't start a suit for him to get visitation. He needs to do that.

the child lives with mom, that is what makes her have physical custody, not the fact they were not married. paternity seems to have been established as well. and no most of us here love women, we just don't like lazy women that set goals to alienate their children from dad, USING children as pawns in their sick games and making visitations costing a cover charge. You for what ever reason seem to think children should be with mothers and fathers just need to pay, but in reality fathers in alot of cases make the better custodial parent, so take your sexism garbage and shove it lady.

So basically what I am hearing is that he could get every other weekend even if he has only been visiting with his daughter for the past 6 months and she has never slept over at his house? In the past 6 months that he has had visitation he once showed up with booze on his breath and two other times he was a no show? I have a lot of documentation on him such as emails and text messages. Before the past 6 months- he never called or bothered to show up. I assume since I am having them garnish his wages he wants to be a part of his Childs life. Again I am trying to work with him. Why is it that mother have to work with the fathers but they don’t have to work with us? He doesn’t have to give me any notice that he can’t come get his child? How is that fair? I am just looking for advice on what I should do if I can do anything. If he wanted to sign his rights away I would drop the child support case. He doesn’t want to fine I will work out visitation with him however he never keeps his end of the bargain.


Listen up punk!! I never wanted things to be this way. He is a bad father by choice. It's not my fault he can’t commit to anyone especially his child so why don’t you shove it you piece of s**t. No body wants to hear your disgruntled advice.

Originally Posted by Unregistered So basically what I am hearing is that he could get every other weekend even if he has only been visiting with his daughter for the past 6 months and she has never slept over at his house? In the past 6 months that he has had visitation he once showed up with booze on his breath and two other times he was a no show? I have a lot of documentation on him such as emails and text messages. Before the past 6 months- he never called or bothered to show up. I assume since I am having them garnish his wages he wants to be a part of his Childs life. Again I am trying to work with him. Why is it that mother have to work with the fathers but they don’t have to work with us? He doesn’t have to give me any notice that he can’t come get his child? How is that fair? I am just looking for advice on what I should do if I can do anything. If he wanted to sign his rights away I would drop the child support case. He doesn’t want to fine I will work out visitation with him however he never keeps his end of the bargain. Listen up punk!! I never wanted things to be this way. He is a bad father by choice. It's not my fault he can’t commit to anyone especially his child so why don’t you shove it you piece of s**t. No body wants to hear your disgruntled advice.

and now it sounds more clear what he is dealing with.

That's right a successful, smart, independent women who wont let some dead beat push her or her child around. Sorry you think its wrong to stand up for yourself, believe and fight for things. Its so funny that you side with him. Like I said before please no women haters I am looking for advice and people who are in my similar situation....NOT ADVICE FROM MEN WHO ARE JUST LIKE MY X.

Perhaps advice from an actual attorney would better suit your needs?

Let me see if I got this straight... An unemployed, depressive, irresponsible, alcoholic deadbeat dad is successfully "pushing around" a smart, successful, independent person? Wow. This loser has quite a bit of power over the more "stable" of people.