Ohio visitation-2 years and still no time with my daughter.

[tat_man]

I dated a woman for 4 years, and ended the relationship because we fought constantly. 2 months after we broke up she told me she was pregnant, and I had already started seeing someone else. I tried to maintain a good relationship with her throughout the pregnancy though there was NO hope of us getting back together (went to doctor's appointments, ultra sounds, my family threw her a baby shower etc.) However, I contiued dating the woman I had met afterward. My ex was very jealous so I did not immediately tell her about my new relationship, however, six months into it I couldn't hide it from her any longer as things were getting serious. When I told her about my relationship she totally flipped, and said that I would NEVER see my daughter unless I broke up with the woman I was dating. She started a smear campaign against her among family/friends (she had never met her). She refused to talk to me on the phone if my girlfriend was around, etc. etc. After a while she switched to that our daughter was not allowed to be around her at all b/c she couldnt "Defend herself." (again, no reason for saying this at all, pure jealousy).

My current girlfriend and myself ended up moving in together and I didn't see my ex for around 2 months because we were both working constantly. (although i was there for my daughter's birth, and the first two months of her life). After those two months when we were settled into our apartment, and my girlfriend quit one of her jobs, I started asking to have visits again. My ex was breastfeeding so I couldnt have any alone time with her and had to have visits with my ex, my girlfriend, and my daughter all together. This went on for about 6-7 months until my current girlfriend got pregnant as well (i know, i know) and I started asking for overnights/"unsupervised visits" (as my ex would call them) ...She vehemently refused and we started argueing about it on a weekly basis. My visits with my daughter were whenever I had a day off, and then it started being me,my daughter,my newborn son, my ex, and her boyfriend as well.

Still no alone time with her what-so-ever. I have offered many times to pay child support but she continues telling me that i have to sign myself up for it, though i do buy things for my daughter like presents, clothing, diapers, etc. etc.

After a huge blowout about my daughter's birthday/all the holidays (my ex expects me to invite her and her boyfriend to my family get togethers just so that i can see my daughter, but we are not invited to hers mind you) i decided it was pointless to try and work things out with her and just stopped contact and decided to save up money for a lawyer. I got laid off, and a year later i still didnt have the money. So, i contacted my ex and tried to work out a weekly set visit with my daughter who is now 2 and have had about 2 months of visits now over an 8=9 hour period on a weekly basis. At first my ex refused to do that, but i finally convinced her. Then i wasnt allowed to refer to myself as "Dad" because my daughter calls her boyfriend Dad (come to find out she doesnt even know the word Dad) . She says I still am not allowed alone time with my daughter b/c i havent proved i can care for her and that she wont be comfortable around me. The kicker is she loves me, loves her now step mom, loves her brother, and is perfectly comfortable around us, and come on..i know how to change a diaper. I even offered to take a certified parenting course and she completely ignored that.


Long story, but any legal advice anyone has to offer would be great because i still dont have the money for a lawyer. WE live in Ohio, and i need rights to my daughter without my controlling ex's interference or we will never establish a father-daughter bond.

[Gbyte]

You can file without a lawyer and request mediation. That's a LOT cheaper (if it works).

You may be able to hire a lawyer a lawyer just to file the papers for you. Then if mediation is granted, the lawyer steps away, you two meet with a mediator. If you agree, papers are signed and submitted. Yes, this will start child support. If mediation isn't ordered or isn't sucessful, it will move on to a full blown custody case. Then you can talk with your lawyer about payments if you decide to proceed.

Some people naviagate the child custody hearings by themselves. THAT would be tough, but I've heard it can be done.

You NEED custody papers. You could always try to get a copy of your counties standard order. If the standard order is acceptable to you, take it to her. Tell her you guys can either agree to this or you will start legal action. May work.... (note: if she agrees, you likely want a lawyers assistance to submit it to the courts and will need to provide info to calc child support).

You need to establish legal paternity. Demand a DNA test to prove you are the father. From there, you can file for fully custody. You need to fight, fight fight to get custody of your child. The mother sounds extremely unstable and should not be trusted around your child.

Hire an attorney. You don't want to go this alone.

Don't accept simply visitation. Fight for full custody of the child. I hope you're keeping an accurate record of what has already transpired so far.

Originally Posted by Unregistered You need to establish legal paternity. Demand a DNA test to prove you are the father. From there, you can file for fully custody. You need to fight, fight fight to get custody of your child. The mother sounds extremely unstable and should not be trusted around your child. Hire an attorney. You don't want to go this alone. Don't accept simply visitation. Fight for full custody of the child. I hope you're keeping an accurate record of what has already transpired so far.

I have been TRYING to keep an accurate record, but it's spotty. I have quite a few online conversations with her from 10 months on, as I try to keep the conversations only to online messages/emails so i can have written proof of what she is saying. Before that i did not know things would turn out this badly, so I mostly spoke with her on the phone. After everything I have been through i would be over joyed to have "just" visitation (without my ex around!), but with 2 other people to support (other than my daughter) my funds are extremely limited and I'm not sure that I can pay for a long-drawn out custody battle.

Originally Posted by Gbyte You can file without a lawyer and request mediation. That's a LOT cheaper (if it works). You may be able to hire a lawyer a lawyer just to file the papers for you. Then if mediation is granted, the lawyer steps away, you two meet with a mediator. If you agree, papers are signed and submitted. Yes, this will start child support. If mediation isn't ordered or isn't sucessful, it will move on to a full blown custody case. Then you can talk with your lawyer about payments if you decide to proceed. Some people naviagate the child custody hearings by themselves. THAT would be tough, but I've heard it can be done. You NEED custody papers. You could always try to get a copy of your counties standard order. If the standard order is acceptable to you, take it to her. Tell her you guys can either agree to this or you will start legal action. May work.... (note: if she agrees, you likely want a lawyers assistance to submit it to the courts and will need to provide info to calc child support).

I have already offered up the alternative of mediation and she vehemently refused b/c "its not neccessary and she lets me see my daughter whenever i ask" (but only with her there) so i dont think that there is any real chance of us coming to an agreement in mediation, just being realistic.

In cases like these, where emotions run high, the last person whose advice you should take as authoritative is the other side's. What she's telling you is pure drivel and is based none whatsoever on what's legally correct.

It IS necessary and she needs to learn that she is not "allowing" you to be your child's father. That is your RIGHT. It's NOT up to her to decide when or if you get to parent your own child. Take this demented woman to court and establish custody.

[Gbyte]

It's worth a try. Once it's court ordered for mediation and she knows a custody battle is looming (don't let her know your resources are limited if it comes to a full out battle), she may be more cooperative than you think.

Is there any way to get the "Ball rolling" without getting a lawyer first?

[Gbyte]

SOME courts have custody/visitation papers where you fill in the blanks. You could ask....