child custody question in nc

Ok, my ex husband and I have joint custody, I have legal physical custody. One of your children has ADD or attention deficite disorder similar to ADHD without the hyperactive. Anyway, He was put on meds a few months ago. I did not consult his father, I worked with the school, got him tested, through school, through his main dr, and they both said he needed to be put on meds. So he did not pass this year did not get meds until almost end of year. Anyway, went to spend summer with his father 12 hrs away for 6 weeks. even though our custody says 3 weeks then we discuss then next 3 weeks. I talked to the children and they seemed ok so I let them stay. Now they are home and oldest is on meds again just started and he talked to his father and father asked if he was back on meds then I got chewed out because he did not feel it was in our child's best interest to be on the meds. He said some of the side effects were to harsh. If I did not take him off the meds right now he was going to come 12 hrs and take our child and get custody. This meds help our child and does make a difference in him once he is on it for a few weeks he does get headaches sometimes (could be from the meds once he starts them again). He was not on the meds for 6 weeks because his father said if I sent them he would just throw them away. I guess my question would be were do I stand? Should I take him off the meds? , can he get custody because I am as he says "endangering" my child, I just dont want him trying to use our children against me as he already has filled their head with stuff not true about my boyfriend (which I have been with for 3 yrs) children had a great relationship with him until they come back from their fathers. I am not sure what was said or done but both have bad attitudes. I just doint want to lose my children but dont want to have the hate me either.

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With joint custody you usually have to agree on medical treatment. Especially in the case of ADD/ADHD (ie mood altering drugs). So if you say yes, he says no...a court has to decide. You making the child take them without the fathers or courts approval risks your status as primary parent. You are not honoring the custody agreement and therefore could be held in contempt of court.

Personally, I agree they are harmful. That most kids on them shouldn't be and are often just suffering from a food sensitivity (which doesn't show on allergy tests) or intolerance to dairy products (or just have a lot of energy). Imagine if Einstein was on Ritalin (he was ADD if I remember correctly). Our world would have been very different.

I'm not saying they should NEVER be perscribed...but they are DEFINATELY over perscribed. Look up the link between dairy products and ADHD. It's interesting. I had a niece taken off dairy to correct ADHD. Worked wonders.

I did all that first but the child's father would not so when the child went to the fathers house diet went out the window. He feels that ADD is a made up illness so "doctors can make more money" I did the dairy, and the carb, and etc it is more a concentration part in school. I am contacting my lawyer that did the custody case and go from there. In the papers it says he is rights to records but that is it.

I agree with the dad about Attention Deficit Disorder on this one. It is a ploy to get children hooked at a young age on prescription medication. Pharmaceutical corporations practically run the economy and they shut down any alternative attempt at healing and curing. Prescription drugs cause more health problems than they "cure". They don't "cure" anything, as notice one has to remain on prescription drugs, often times told, for the remainder of their lives. That's hardly a cure. There are other means to treat a child's inability to settle down and focus.

In my day, ADD was a kid who was acting out because of difficulties in the home. Or a child sensitive to a chemical or a food additive. Prescription drugs are not going to do anything but make the child more severely ill. I know a kid on Ritalin right now who looks 100 years old, an anorexic looking zombie who CRAVES nothing but sugar and eats once a day because his appetite is so depressed as a result of taking this medication. It's a bad parent who would even give their child this junk. I'd rather have an overactive child than a sick child.

I also agree that these drugs are DEFINITELY over prescribed.

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Originally Posted by Unregistered I'd rather have an overactive child than a sick child. I also agree that these drugs are DEFINITELY over prescribed.

Amen.

If the diet goes out the window at dad's and he won't give the medication and can handle the child with untreated ADD/ADHD....let him do it. Good for him. Maybe the child should spend more time at dads. When the child comes back home...back on the diet.

Doctors: Oh...you're different than other people? Take this medicine to make you the same!! (Hehe...now I can get that summer home I've been looking at).

If the child is raging and diet/environment changes can't control it...sure. Medicine. But a little difficulty concentrating...sorry...I don't think Ritilin should ever be perscribed without the agreement of both parents. I don't know the courts stance if he pushes on this issue, but if the child does well with him off meds...maybe he should be there. I know that seems harsh and without knowing your full situation I really can't judge.

When the child is with their father there are no rules, no set bed time, they dont even how their own rooms as they do here at home. They have responsiblities here. I have faith in the dr they see and I totally disagree with the meds in my childs case I have done the research and this is or was not done just to "calm" the child down. My child has no problems with eating, or other side effects. Like I was told this summer once they came home they wanted to stay with their dad because if they did they could do what ever they wanted and have everything they wanted and if they went to go live with him it would always be that way. He comes and goes and sees them when it is easy on him. He does not even call them all the time as I did when the children were with him I talked to them at least once a day. I guess the courts will have to decide then. as this thread is getting off the questions asked but thanks for the replies. Oh the way dad deals with it is yelling and the children are scared of him and he is not around much as he only spends a few hrs a day as busy with work or other things. He has girlfriend or her daughter watch them.

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That is common. My daughter rarely see her father on "his" time, it's given to another female (gf or mother) to play "parent".

I did state I don't know your full situation. But I do hold pretty strongly against mood altering meds on children unless their safety (or others) is at risk. Hopefully it all works out good for your children.

Originally Posted by Gbyte With joint custody you usually have to agree on medical treatment. Especially in the case of ADD/ADHD (ie mood altering drugs). So if you say yes, he says no...a court has to decide. You making the child take them without the fathers or courts approval risks your status as primary parent. You are not honoring the custody agreement and therefore could be held in contempt of court. Personally, I agree they are harmful. That most kids on them shouldn't be and are often just suffering from a food sensitivity (which doesn't show on allergy tests) or intolerance to dairy products (or just have a lot of energy). Imagine if Einstein was on Ritalin (he was ADD if I remember correctly). Our world would have been very different. I'm not saying they should NEVER be perscribed...but they are DEFINATELY over perscribed. Look up the link between dairy products and ADHD. It's interesting. I had a niece taken off dairy to correct ADHD. Worked wonders.

Ok, my ex husband and I have joint custody, I have legal physical custody.


is she has legal custody she doesn't need the fathers approval. from what she has said they have joint physical and she has legal. although i agree the drugs should be avoided if she has legal custody like she stated the correct answer is, no you don;t need the non custodial parents permission.