need advise
This is a discussion on need advise within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; I am in a battle with my ex right now to get my 15 month old daughter back. He had ...
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#1 |
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need advise
I am in a battle with my ex right now to get my 15 month old daughter back. He had all 3 of my kids come to visit him in montana for a few weeks before school started. The night before they were to return home to be with me in south carolina he called and told me he had signed papers for full custody of our daughter and he was not sending her back...the older 2 children are not his therefore he was only sending them. We have never been married and have NO paperwork drawn up in any way to show who has what custody of our 15 month old daughter. I have contacted both MT and SC sheriffs departments and was given the same answer "there is NOTHING I as her mother can do...he is her father, and without ANY custody paperwork by law he has his rights". I plan to seek legal counsil tomorrow. Just wondering if anyone has ANY advise or ideas on how to get her back sooner rather than later.
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#2 |
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Top Level Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,129
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You have rights too. The mother when unwed is full and sole custodial parent until a court states otherwise in every US state that I am aware of. Police don't like to get invovled in "domestic" disputes. I'm sorry...parental kidnapping is not a domestic dispute. If unwed parents had custody based on who kidnapped them from the other parent last, it would be a DANGEROUS precident.
You need to file an exparte order to obtain the emergency return of your daughter. You are the custodial parent until a court deems otherwise. Exparte orders usually only take 24 hours to be filed and heard. It is a once sided meeting with a judge. Your lawyer will explain that you have full custody, no court has ruled he has custody, you let the child stay for summer vacation for a few weeks and he is now refusing to return the child to your care. The exparte will likely be granted, you can take the paper and go get your child back. |
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#3 |
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Here is a good example of what I've been trying to explain all along. Without the courts involvement, BOTH parents have equal rights to the child and the police cannot, and will not get involved.
It is not considered a "domestic issue". It is a civil matter. The only way you can file for an ex parte order is when some sort of abuse is going on. Judges do not merely take a person's word for it. You have to have concrete evidence that it is actually taking place. Ex parte's are not ordered on lightly. Ex parte is a one sided hearing, and so a person better have concrete evidence that an ex parte order is absolutely required. If he has court documents that show he's been granted temporary custody, he must have had compelling evidence the child had been neglected or abused while in your care. You are going to need an attorney, but you will most likely not be able to file an ex parte petition unless you have compelling proof of neglect and abuse by the other parent. You are not likely to get your child back anytime soon. |
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#4 |
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Join Date: Sep 2008
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No, both parents (unmarried) don't have equal rights without a court order.
You can go and kidnap your child back - as he has taken the child from you. Or you can file an exparte order and you will VERY likely be granted the rights to get the child. Exparte isn't SOLEY for abuse. My ex was granted an Exparte to take my Easter holiday and Spring break to take our daughter to Disneyland. Kidnapping the child back gives more probability for success. Just say you want to say hi - and take your child. If he has court papers, get your attorney to have them tossed as they weren't likely filed in the right jurisdiction (ie where the child has lived the last 6 full months of it's life). Good luck, let us know how it goes. |
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#5 |
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They do, and it's unclear why that is so difficult to comprehend. That is why when the cops were called the woman was told they would not get involved and there was nothing they could do.
The same thing is told to countless women across the country on the daily basis. I've never heard tell of a judge granting an ex parte hearing simply because a parent wants holiday time for a vacation. That is considered frivolous. It is hoped the judge who heard such a case or signed such an order is now off the bench as he abused his authority. Unless of course, there's more to the story. Ex parte's are serious. They allow only one side's story to be heard and that alone is a contradiction in our laws. Even murder suspects have a chance to have their side heard. Ex parte's are not taken lightly, for this very reason. It strips the other party of a chance to have his/her side of the story/case heard. If this woman listens to your advice, she will most likely find herself in jail. She obviously hasn't given the full story regarding the details in this case, and if she simply goes and kidnaps a child who has been granted even temporary custody by a judge, she will find herself in serious trouble with the law. Child custody, bear in mind, isn't only about who gets the child simply because one parent wants to keep the child away from the other. It's about what is in the best interest of the child. This father may very well be the better, more stable parent with a better, more stable financial situation. Telling someone they very likely will get their child back simply by filing a frivolous ex parte order is erroneous advice. |
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#6 |
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Top Level Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
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Unfortunately, no there wasn't more to the story on the exparte. He was also granted an exparte for his sisters 3rd wedding at 7pm on a Friday. The judge gave him my whole weekend. Yes, it is an abuse of discretion, as my whole case has been.
An unmarried father without custody rights assuming custody of the child against the mothers wishes would constitute an emergency. The police don't WANT to get involved, but legally they should and should return custody to the parent WITH custody (the mother - when parties are unmarried and no orders exist). An exparte can and SHOULD be granted in this case to force the police to assist in the return of the child. A hearing would be granted at a later date on the exparte if the father wishes to dispute the judges findings. We don't know that the father has been granted temporary custody. If she hasn't been informed of that, how would she know? If he can kidnap the child without going to jail she can kidnap her back. This is how you think the system works right? Whomever gets the child in their arms and refuses them to the other parent has custody? Wrong...the mother has custody in this case (unless there is a court order that is likely improper). He's refused to return the child from voluntary visitation. She can get an exparte to return and then should not allow him unsupervised time until he has filed for and been granted parenting time. Unless her courts are just as corrupt and unconcerned with the childs well being as mine. |
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#7 |
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Top Level Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
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The mother may need to prove residence, by items such as daycare records, health insurance address, immunizations, Dr. bills. But her attorney should help her if any of this is needed.
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#8 |
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BIG question- Ex Husband or Ex boyfriend.....that will determine his rights, or lack of
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#9 |
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No. The original poster said the father has court documents granting him custody of the child, unless I am reading that incorrectly.
The original poster needs to consult an attorney, as advice on this forum is by personal experience (or worse) only, and she cannot and will not know what her options are unless she seeks legal representation. On a side note, the police cannot get involved, as, once again, it is considered an civil matter. Until a court is involved, the police cannot do anything. I would urge the original poster to seek legal representation. |
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#10 |
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Top Level Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
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She stated they have never been married.
She also stated HE told her that he signed paperwork granting him full custody - but she hasn't been involved in that or notified so it's reasonable to believe he's lying. |
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