need advise

Originally Posted by Unregistered I am in a battle with my ex right now to get my 15 month old daughter back. He had all 3 of my kids come to visit him in montana for a few weeks before school started. The night before they were to return home to be with me in south carolina he called and told me he had signed papers for full custody of our daughter and he was not sending her back...the older 2 children are not his therefore he was only sending them. We have never been married and have NO paperwork drawn up in any way to show who has what custody of our 15 month old daughter. I have contacted both MT and SC sheriffs departments and was given the same answer "there is NOTHING I as her mother can do...he is her father, and without ANY custody paperwork by law he has his rights". I plan to seek legal counsil tomorrow. Just wondering if anyone has ANY advise or ideas on how to get her back sooner rather than later.

If you were never married, YOU are considered to have SOLE custody. He may have signed papers but they didnt go through a court without major fraud being comitted. The police wont get involved, and quite honestly are clueless in these cases as he is NOT legally the childs father, but thats the training they get.

You need an attorney ASAP to get papers filed, THEN you can go after him. You can get an emergency hearing, then, and only then, if he fails to produce the child, it becomes parental kidnapping.

BBYTE

The thing responders are missing is, the original poster never offered whether or not he does have documents proving the child is his; such as a signed birth certificate and an Acknowledgment of Parentage. If he is in possession of those documents, and he could prove the child was in harm's way or being neglected (another piece of information not offered by the poster), he could very well have gone before a judge and been awarded temporary custody, or legal guardianship of his child.

The mother is only assumed to have sole legal custody if the situation has never ended up before a judge.

More information would be needed from the poster to get an accurate assessment of what would be considered sound advice.

He would have had to have signed paperwork if he was granted custody of the child.

Nobody here is even questioning whether the father is the more stable home who took steps to protect his child. Everyone is going on emotion in doling out the advice.

She didn't have to be involved in it if he was granted an ex parte hearing. Just as you and others are encouraging her to do so he will not be involved, which is just as bad. It's not prudent to assume this was a wonderful mother whose father simply acted like a vindictive jerk. We don't have his side of the story do we?

No I have never been married to this man. I have not yet been served with any paperwork. But for the past 2 nights I have talked to him an we have come to a new arrangement(nothing is yet on paper however) I will move back to Montana with my 2 older children an we have both agreed to seek counseling both on our own and together for the children. I have also agreed (to set his mind at ease) to have supervised visits with my 15 month old daughter. I will do what ever it takes to be in my babies lives without putting all 4 of my children threw the hell of a bloody court battle. But as I said NOTHING is yet down on paper and I do plan to respond to whatever paperwork is already on its way so that I don't get backdoored. Any new advise would be appreciated...and I thank you all for what advise you have already given me.

[Gbyte]

If you agree to have supervised visits with your daughter, you WILL lose custody. Did you speak with an attorney? If you haven't got papers yet, you need to file an exparte order for return of custody. I don't understand why you are tolerating this. There must be more to this story....

I'm curious as to why you would agree to supervised visits. Why are you cutting deals at all? Don't tell me it's because you'll do anything to get your child back. There is no way in hell I'd agree to supervised visits with a man who purportedly kidnapped my child and falsely retained custody of her. Why are you in negotiations with him without the assistance of an attorney? Why didn't you seek an attorney's advice? Why did you not request and ex parte filing?

Of course there is more to this story. This story reeks of a man so concerned about his daughter's safety and well being that he took the appropriate measures to protect her. The mother even agreeing to supervised visits provides that clue.