please help my friend / parental alienation syndrome

My friend has a son and the father has had nothing to do with them both even though she has tried, he has been abusive verbally and emotionally, and says that the child is not his even though it is. Now that it is becoming legal he says he will pay support when the child turns 2, also now he wants to see the child that he has neglected only to despite his ex, and hurt the child emotionally, how long does he have to be away so that the child does not have him for visitation as this will really hurt the baby as he has not seen or heard from him for 2 years without contact???

i really need help for them as she is a great mum always there for him no matter what and gives him everything he needs, this lowlife has and is going to keep bothering them and will not chage as i have known him for awhile

help them what can they do???

[Gbyte]

Ah...oh no! A strange man! I'm HURT!

My point is, it wouldn't hurt the child to see it's father because he hasn't in two years. Why will he start paying child support when the child turns 2. Why not now?

Yes....some men to request custody or visitation to be vindictive. But you are a friend of a mom. The mom should be posting.

Saying that, she should go to a service that offers supervised visitation and register. you can find these by contacting your local battered womens shelter. This gives the father an immediate opportunity to see the child and the mom peace of mind.

When fathers are complete AHoles - it's actually good for the child to know this. Else at the age of 10-12 mom will hear - "I want to go live with my dad" - who they never knew was an ahole because they weren't given the chance to find out.

Originally Posted by Gbyte When fathers are complete AHoles - it's actually good for the child to know this. Else at the age of 10-12 mom will hear - "I want to go live with my dad" - who they never knew was an ahole because they weren't given the chance to find out.

Now the resident bitterness expert is suggesting a form of Parental Alienatio syndrome? Your advice is dangerous and you should be off here. You are giving advice to a person NOT involved in this dispute, who is only giving one side of a story!

"The parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child's campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent's indoctrinations and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the target parent."

Originally Posted by Unregistered Now the resident bitterness expert is suggesting a form of Parental Alienatio syndrome? Your advice is dangerous and you should be off here. You are giving advice to a person NOT involved in this dispute, who is only giving one side of a story! "The parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child's campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent's indoctrinations and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the target parent."

Yes, Unregistered, these syndromes are only fake when the father is accusing the mother of it. Not the other way around. Didn't you know that? (sarcasm intended)

[Gbyte]

So when is it parental alienation to let an ahole dad have visitation rights and let the child see him for who he is??

Confused...

I was pretty sure alienation was to talk bad about the other parent to or in front of the child and attempt to prevent or destroy a relationship. My ex tries to alienate our daughter from me all the time. It just hurts him, but I get blamed for his poor relationship with his daughter. He's being a jerk...it's not a syndrome...that part was made up by a child molestor that commited suicide.

Definition of Syndrome: a characteristic combination of opinions, emotions, or behavior : the “Not In My Backyard” syndrome.

It clearly applies.

Originally Posted by Unregistered My friend has a son and the father has had nothing to do with them both even though she has tried, he has been abusive verbally and emotionally, and says that the child is not his even though it is. Now that it is becoming legal he says he will pay support when the child turns 2, also now he wants to see the child that he has neglected only to despite his ex, and hurt the child emotionally, how long does he have to be away so that the child does not have him for visitation as this will really hurt the baby as he has not seen or heard from him for 2 years without contact??? i really need help for them as she is a great mum always there for him no matter what and gives him everything he needs, this lowlife has and is going to keep bothering them and will not chage as i have known him for awhile help them what can they do???

this" lowlife" as you describe him, is the man your friend chose to have a child with. and he has every right to see his child, even getting a court order to do so. and if he does get corut ordered visitation, your friend has no choice but to comply, or she could face contempt charges, and done enough times, kiddo will be living with dad and visiting mom. mom may as well get used to the fact that he will get visitation, wether she wants him to or not.

Check out this webpage for clinical studies on this "fake syndrome".

Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome by Ira Daniel Turkat

Originally Posted by Gbyte My ex tries to alienate our daughter from me all the time. It just hurts him, but I get blamed for his poor relationship with his daughter. He's being a jerk...it's not a syndrome...that part was made up by a child molestor that commited suicide.

Again, this board is for people seeking help, and you turn it into your own counseling man hating session...Every post isnt about how it fits in to your life.