Move away ?

Hello. I have 3 children (5,3,1) with the man I have been living with. We are unmarried. There is a history of abusive behavior on his part. In November, I called the police after he got drunk and threatened me in front of our kids. He was arrested for criminal threat. I stupidly had the domestic violence restraining order modified to give him another chance. I really want to leave here with our kids, because it is getting bad again.

I was wanting to possibly move to my home state of Indiana, where all of my family resides. I'm getting fearful of leaving my children while I work, and I'm afraid I will have to leave my job. I do not want to deny my children their father.

Then again, I don't want to remain in a volatile environment any longer. The father signed the declaration of paternity, and is listed on the birth certificate, but we have never been to court for custody/paternity/support, etc. He has been staying home for the past few years (he is refusing to work), so I've worked to support us. However, most of the parenting has been left to me, such as appointments, bathing, outings, and the like.

Obviously if any abuse/threats occur, I will leave with the kids.

I am looking for any information you members could give me about how I should proceed, what are the odds I would be allowed to move, etc.

Thank you for your time.

[sunlover]

He could very likely block any attempt to move and if you did you would likely be responsible for travel expenses for visits. Talk to Lawyer make sure your T's are crossed etc etc

i'm sure you could move if you could prove that he actually abused you and/or the kids. do you have any actual documentation? that would help you out.

[sunlover]

Moving is not the problem its the distance. According to the post the abuse seems focused on her not children. If he is no threat to children he will likely be granted unrestricted visitation. Mom cannot take his rights to see his children away by moving too far. Yes hes a heal but he has rights. She needs to talk to a Lawyer

[Gbyte]

Actually, you can pack up the kids and leave. An unmarried mother in all states that I'm aware of have full custody of the children.

What you'd run into though, is if he files for custody/visitation in the city you currently live in before you have lived at your new location for 6 months, you will have to travel back to his city for court hearings (or may be able to attend via phone). It may not look great for you to move, but since you are moving closer to your family, that may balance it out a bit.

You should talk to an attorney before you do anything. How many hours away would you be?

I tend to agree. You can move if you want to and he really can't do anything about it unless he files for custody with the court. That is why you should do it (file for custody) first.

Abuse never gets better with time. It only gets worse.

[Gbyte]

She can't file for custody when she already has it. Tried it...been told I couldn't.

She does. She can file for temporary guardianship of the children until a custody hearing is set. Someone has to have court ordered legal custody of the child. Right now it's just implied.

Someone gave you bad advice. When the issue of whether or not one parent is going to try to take the children, someone needs to be given custody legally so that if the children are taken by the other parent, the parent who has physical custody can do something about it. As it stands now, she can't do anything about it if he decides to up and take the kids.

[Gbyte]

If they were married you'd be correct. I know in my state an umarried mother cannot file for guardianship or custody....as she already has it per state law.

[sunlover]

Please show us that law this is new to me