I need help -- psycho ex-boyfriend and we have a child together

This is a discussion on I need help -- psycho ex-boyfriend and we have a child together within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; I live in California and here's my situation: My ex boyfriend thinks I cheated on him with a friend of ...

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Old Jul 22nd, 2009, 02:18 AM   #1
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Default I need help -- psycho ex-boyfriend and we have a child together

I live in California and here's my situation:

My ex boyfriend thinks I cheated on him with a friend of mine who doesn't even live in the same state. Because of these trust issues, we have separated. We have a baby together (who is 10 months old).

Just recently, my son and I were over at our old house with my ex. He got physical, all the while holding our son in his arms. He choked me, he grabbed my arm and knocked me down onto our old bed and I even have bite marks. In the midst of this fight, I walked away in fear and left my purse behind which contained my cell phone. He has threatened me before stating that if he was going to go back to jail (he was in jail for 6 months for a non-violent crime) it was going to be for a good reason. When this whole physical thing happened, I called the cops because he wouldn't give me my son back. The cops came and I told them what happened and that all I wanted was my son back. The cops ran a report and found out he has warrants out for his arrest and has a suspended license. The cops didn't want to arrest him unless he put up a fight.

He just recently got into the school of his dreams and is doing alright in all other aspects of his life so I didn't want to press charges against him. I want to be as civil as possible.

Today I find out that he sent death threats via my cell phone to the friend he thinks I cheated on him with. He also kept calling another friend of mine to try to get to the bottom of his suspicions.

I'm at the end of my rope here. I went to the court today to ready the paper work to get custody of our son and now I'm thinking I need to file a restraining order against him. I'm not sure if I should go back and press charges since he seems to think it's okay to harass people.

Any legal advice would be helpful. I'm really at a loss. He says he's going to get a lawyer and I know for a fact he has a good lawyer and his family has the money to afford one but I'm broke and my family although has been super supportive and amazing, can't afford to hire a lawyer.
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Old Jul 22nd, 2009, 06:39 AM   #2
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Default Re: I need help -- psycho ex-boyfriend and we have a child together

Um...you didn't have your phone shut off until you got it back?

Did they take pictures of the bite marks?

Does he have custody?

Were you married?
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Old Jul 22nd, 2009, 08:58 AM   #3
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Default Re: I need help -- psycho ex-boyfriend and we have a child together

Whats the real story?

Police do not find people with warrants and just let them go unless they put up a fight

Forget about him getting into the school of his dreams, and giving him a break, he may kill you next time if given the chance...file charges, get a restraining order, anythign you can to be safe...
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Old Jul 22nd, 2009, 10:05 AM   #4
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Default Re: I need help -- psycho ex-boyfriend and we have a child together

The cops let him go 'cause the warrants weren't for serious crimes and they wanted to save them up in case he acted out again. I think the warrants were for unpaid parking tickets or something...

About the phone, I didn't think he would do such a thing. I now have shut it off but beforehand, I just didn't think he was capable of such a thing.

I'm filing for custody and we were never married (thankfully!). The cops didn't take pictures of the bite marks, but I did. I also have bruises on my arm from him, that I also took pictures of.

Because I had no idea things would get to this point, I didn't take much precaution but now that I know, I can't take any more chances. My son is the most important thing and I would hate for anything to happen to us...
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Old Jul 22nd, 2009, 01:16 PM   #5
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Default Re: I need help -- psycho ex-boyfriend and we have a child together

You already have custody. Have you talked to a lawyer yet? My lawyer told me I couldnt' file for custody as I already had it. Therefore, I had to wait for him to file for custody.
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Old Jul 26th, 2009, 10:20 PM   #6
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Default Re: I need help -- psycho ex-boyfriend and we have a child together

[Today I find out that he sent death threats via my cell phone to the friend he thinks I cheated on him with.]


That is certainly enough to have him arrested.
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Old Jul 27th, 2009, 11:55 AM   #7
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Default Re: I need help -- psycho ex-boyfriend and we have a child together

I agree. Death threats and past physical abuse is enough to have him arrested.

You need to speak with an attorney. There should be legal aid in your locality. Check with the local court.

Abuse will never get better. It only gets worse. You need to take every measure to protect yourself and your child. This man needs serious psychological help, but unfortunately, will not seek it out.
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Old Jul 27th, 2009, 01:12 PM   #8
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Default Re: I need help -- psycho ex-boyfriend and we have a child together

I'd like to hear your ex's side of the story. A thousand dollars says you're a crazy chick who has cheated before and done dumb crazy ****. Hopefully his family lawyers up and gets his rights set in stone before your low class ass starts bringing dudes around the kid.

Let's review...

Poor guy has outstanding parking tickets. (oh no)

Is in a great school. (good head on his shoulders, bettering himself)

Comes from a good family. (your come from losers)

Meanwhile you...

call the cops (cops will arrest a man for ANYTHING if DV is suspected, he must've not done jack if they let him go)

probably said something dumb (about taking him to court for custody, getting money out of him, keeping your son from his grandparents, etc.)

Can we get the real story please?
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