Father refuses to give back child in Idaho

[lfahn25]

Mother and Father were living together for three years. Union produced a male child. During such time, Mother was breadwinner for household.

Mother/Father broke up, with her taking 18 month old child with her. Trying to be fair, father was allowed to take child every other week. Fathers day, 2009 was during her week, so she allowed father to take child for weekend.

On Sunday, reliable family member who is friends with fathers family was over there and discovered Father's sisters were teaching child to say negative things about mommy. Mother got upset and went over to ask to have child back. (Instead of Monday moring.). Not only was this refused, but father now refuses to give back child at all. If she steps on property, they will call the cops.

Since fathers day, Mother has been allowed to see child three times. Ten minutes once (visit was terminated when she told father she didn't want to go back to him). Second time was half an hour at park, (with father and three of his friends hovering.). Third time was an hour, also at park with father hovering so she didn't take her child.

This is now a month and a half later! She does not have her child, her lawyer is not much help. They got the papers served, but that's it. How does mother get child back??

Father now has a job, part time, (first job in years), but he is gone this week to something back east, and the aunt (not the mother) is watching the child.

I am not the mother in this situation. The mother in question is a good friend of the family. My children see the child as a cousin, and we love them dearly. the aunt who was teaching the child to say "mom's a #%$#$" resides in the same household as the father. The father now lives with his mother, and two of his sisters.

If this is truly a case of parental kidnapping and/or custodial interference, there are uniform laws at the federal and state level. The first step would be to go to the police with a copy of the custody orders in hand so they can enforce them. You mentioned that a lawyer is already involved, so with that being the case there is not much to do on the civil side. However, if it seems the attorney is unduly slow or passive, you may want to consider firing the lawyer and retaining new family law counsel. It can be better to do that as early as possible rather than waiting until later. It would be a great idea to run the matter by another lawyer. If you go to their main page, you would get a referral from WLD. They have lawyers all over, and even if you didn't hire a new one it would be wise to get some fresh input. Hope it all works out. AJJ

[lfahn25]

there isn't any custody papers. They broke up only a few months ago, and had not yet had custody written up. Had custody been figured, it would have been an easy case!

Hmm, and here I have been reading here lately that the father cannot do this kind of thing because he has "no legal rights, none" to the child. How is it this woman's lawyer can't do anything? If he has no legal rights, why does she not have her child back yet?

There is no custody order from the family court judge.

[Gbyte]

That is correct. The father has no custody rights if they weren't married until a court orders others. She can request the police assist her in getting her child back immediately. They may not as they like to stay out of "family matters". If they don't, her attorney needs to file an exparte order NOW for the return of the child. It usually takes 24hrs to process. The fact that she's waited this long may hurt her though. Once the order is issued, the police will assist her.

I guess it depends on your State's laws regarding this. In my state, both parents have equal rights regardless of marriage if the father is listed on the child's birth certificate. Having worked for an attorney that deals with these issues, there is nothing either parent can do without the establishment through the courts of who has physical custody. Without filing papers with the court to establish custody, either parent can retain guardianship of the child without the other parent's consent. This may be different in your state. Contact your attorney.

The police cannot assist as this is considered a civil matter.

[Gbyte]

I'd be curious to see that states laws...

You state that mother "Trying to be fair, father was allowed to take child every other week", but the father was being just as fair to "allow" the mother to have the child every other week. It is such a shame that mothers continue to think they are the "owners" of their children and THEY can allow or disallow visitation.

Many woman argue that they have stayed at home with the children, raising them, while the male went to work. This is the same thing in reverse. While you went out and supported your family, he played wife. So this child is accustomed to being home with daddy, and with him only working part time, he has plenty of time to continue to be a parent.

If I were you, I'd be very careful about what battles you choose to indulge in. Your son's aunt was way out of line. But why would you make the child's father suffer for what an ignorant woman said? You should have spoken to your ex and let him know that if his sister cannot use common sense and respect you, then you would not like her to have contact with your child. The wrong thing to do was for you to barge over there and take this child because you were pissed. All this does is causes panic and anger. So since so many men deal with vindictive woman, as soon as something such as this happens, many men think, "Oh no! She is pissed! Is she going to try to keep my child from me now? I better hold on to him."

You keep driving the fact that this man didn't work and he finally is working part time, but you decided to make a child with him even though he didn't work. Woman "don't work" all the time, so this is not going to do anything in your favor, especially since you made a baby with a non working man who was the main caregiver to child.

If your lawyer sucks, you may want to consider hiring a new one. But you may just have to be the non-custodial parent and pay him child support, so be prepared.

Originally Posted by Unregistered Hmm, and here I have been reading here lately that the father cannot do this kind of thing because he has "no legal rights, none" to the child. How is it this woman's lawyer can't do anything? If he has no legal rights, why does she not have her child back yet? There is no custody order from the family court judge.

That is because the woman who wrote that comment didn't know what she was talking about.

[BByte]

Why are you posting in 3rd person conversation? it's obvious that you are the mother in the tone you are writing on about yourself and father.

To the poster who doesnt understand why the lawyer couldnt get anything done, there is obviously more to the story. I dont know Idaho custody law, but it may be a state where paternity is merely established by being on BC and and AOP. If that is the case then they both have an right to the child.

Parental kidnapping is very misunderstood statute by both law enforcement and general public.

First, without a standing court ordered and recorded custody decision, there is no such thing as parental kidnapping. Parents are seen as having equal "rights" to the child and either can go where they want, when they want with that child at any time. If, however, one parent removes the child to a second or unknown location, the purpose of which is to deny the custody or visitation of the other parent, even without a standing custody decision, it is considered parental kidnapping. In such situations, while warrants for the arrest of the absconding parent and the return of the child are being issued, the left behind parent will also be granted emergency custody.

So , there's no court order custody, BUT the father has not returned the child as agreed, and is "limiting" the custody and visitation, thats the gray area with law enforcement and the usual response is "deal with it in court." Although, they tend to go after the dads in these cases and do not as aggressively pursue the mothers....

Of your lawyer isnt having success, there is more to the story.