Cheating husbands wants same parental rights!

I am a male who made a mistake several months ago. I have been married for 5 years and have 2 children with my wife.

Unfortunately, I had a brief affair with a woman I met while on a business trip. As a result, the woman I had the affair with is 7 months pregnant. I told my wife about this and she wants to work it out for our children. The woman is not giving me any problems at this point and that is a good thing.

The thing is, if my wife cheated on me and had a baby by another man, in my state, I would be the father and there would be no regard to the natural father, simply because we are married. Actually, in the guidlines, they explain the children of marriage to be somewhat of 'community property'. But now, it is reverse. I am a married male who has done this and I need to know where my wife stands because this is a child "obtained" during our marriage.

I want to know if this baby will be shared as 'community property' between my wife and I. My wife is more than willing to love this baby as our own. I want to argue this in court. I think the laws needs to be fair. If a married man has to be a father to a child that isn't his, a married woman should also be able to be a mother to a child that isn't hers. I have dug up plenty of case law on women in this situation.

I know I will need to speak to lawyer and that is fine, but I'd really like input from others first. Any knowledge on how this works? I can't find any information on males in this role.

This is ripping me apart because I want this kid to have the lifestyle me and my family have, and enjoy having 2 parents in the home because the option is available.

[sunlover]

Your wife will be a "legal stranger" to this child with no rights in regards to the child.

[BByte]

You are going to waste a lot of money and will not get the results you are looking for.

Your wife has no rights to this child, and as a matter of fact, down the road can impact your custody arrangements if she steps in and tries to be more than she is. Difficult "step" parents are often a cause of many custody battles.

Unless birth mother is just willing to walk away from child, you will only be able to ask for some form of shared custody and visitation, and pay child support.

[Gbyte]

The reason for the law is that a child is born "of the marriage". That's two people. Not three.

A father of a child concieved with a married women who is not HIS wife can petition the courts for paternity and custody/visitation. A husband who's wife is carrying someone else's child can file for divorce and is likely to not have to be responsible for the child. Problem with that...it's of course hard to know who the father is without DNA tests.

Maybe mandatory DNA tests should be done when the birth cert is signed? Not a bad idea...will likely have to wait until DNA tests are a lot cheaper. Then with privacy laws and other groups who won't want DNA tests done - as they are afraid of a database being compiled. Could be harder than I thought....

The birthmother is the mother. Your wife is not the mother. She has no rights. She cannot take the baby away and will look worse for you and her if she pretends she can. She cannot sign the birth certificate. Unless the birthmom hands the baby over, accept that you will pay support and visitation rights can exist.