unsure..can someone give advice?

My ex husband and I have been seperated for about three years. The divorce was final on may 18th. He didn't show up to the hearing. support was set and visitation rights were "set" with only it being said that we can follow anything as long as it is withing the guidelines. Here's the problem, my ex has not seen the children in at LEAST two months. the last time he spoke to them was two months ago, to the day. He called tonight and spoke briefly to the kids, after which, he spoke to me and said he wants to set up something so he can see his kids. I said that's fine. (This is what he does, has them for a weekend,then no contact for a couple of months.) He then proceeds to tell me that he wants to take the kids out of state for a week so they can stay with his aunt along with some of his aunts grandchildren. I'm wary of this. I know and trust his aunt, but about a year ago he got so mad at me he threatend to take the kids to this same state and have his family hide them and I would never see them again. He later apologized for saying it, but it's stuck in my mind. My daughter knows that he wants to take them and she loves that part of the family. what should I do? I'm a little scared that he wont bring them back. He hasn't paid a dime of support, but in my state, it doesn't matter, you can't withold visitation.

I should also add, that when I told him that I would have to think about him taking the kids out of state for a week, he hung up on me! I just don't know.

[Gbyte]

I'd say he should do a weekend first. If you have an attorney - run the week past him. But I'd say if you have all the details, address's, phone numbers....etc...you should seriously consider it.

[MenRparents2]

I can understand your position here and it is confusing on what to do. If your kids are wanting to go then let them, you just have to take some CYA measures. Like it was stated get info about addresses, phone numbers ect... Do your kids have a cell? If not get a pay as you go one to keep in touch or in case of what you think may go wrong. Now that you have an order, it is enforcable and the law will abide by it.

BTW, I think it is a shame on how he is doing your kids, it is the reason why the system is the way it is. He makes good dads like me stigmitized.

I do not in amy way wish to keep my children from seeing their extended family. I know that they have always had a great time when they have gotten to see them and they are loved by them as well. I think my fears are coming from this: He didn't want the divorce because he didn't want to have to pay support. In fact, he could not be served because he evaded the police. My lawyer and I had an annoucement placed in teh paper, and ran it for the amount of time etc. He saw it, told me he saw it, asked me what to do and I told him. He didn't so everything went on without him. He should have recieved his copy of the papers by now and he's sure to have seen what he owes in support. His threat about taking the children out of state stemmed from the whole he would have to pay support thing. I really think that is the reason why I'm concerned. It makes me sad to see my oldest. Her heart just breaks and she thinks daddy doesn't love her. I told her that he does. I think this week out of state might do some good to her heart, even if it is a week with his "aunt." I just have to hope that after the week he doesn't discontinue communication, again. It's all just very frustrating. thank you for your replies!

Just remember, if he tries anything funny get the police involved ASAP!

[Gbyte]

Yikes. Requesting a week after not seeing them for so long only after seeing the support papers...

I'm thinking I'd say there needs to be some regular visitation before you can grant a whole week.