Paternity Test requirements, NY - long!!

[cateyes]

Hello everybody ;-)

I found this place while using Google to find some answers.
I hope somebody can help me to figure some things out.

Here's the story:
I am german, ex husband is american. We have a son together. I went back to Germany, he lives in the state of New York.

My ex is not paying child support since he left the Army. Now it went to court in the state of NY. I requestet a paternity test right from the beginning because my ex came up with lies like he has never seen my son, that he has no relationship with him and that it is not his son.
I send pics and documents to the court that was proofing that he was lying.
The judge denied a paternity test in the interest of the child (in case he was really not the father, my child would be a bastard). My ex also requested a paternity test shortly after I did.
The judge made my son's lawyer having an interview with her over the phone (it happened in an office of the german child welfare, I was not allowed to attend it) to find out if my son has a relationship with his dad - in that case the judge would waive the paternity test. The Laywer was talking over half an hour with my son, asking him lots of questions.
After they were finished, I was called into the office, the lawyer wanted to talk to me. She said she is 100% positive that there's a child/father relationship and told that the judge.

Now the judge wants a paternity test. I am all for it - it would have saved us a lot of time from the beginning. But here's something I don't understand...
The test will be done in the state human health department to make sure nobody can screw with the sample - no problem with that.
BUT - the judge also wants polaroid pictures of him (because they can't be changed on a computer), a sample of my son's handwriting and his finger prints.
I find nothing on the internet that this are things needed for a paternity test.

Can somebody tell me why the judge wants these things? For me it looks more like he wants to start a file on my son so he can be identified. I have family in the states I visit from time to time - I'm worried that they want to collect those things to identify him right on the airport.. I suspect that my ex wants to keep my son in the states when we are there and they try to take him away from me - or am I just being paranoid?

I have to tell the german child welfare office in two days if I am willing to go through with that, any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance,
cateyes

[Gbyte]

It does seem a little odd....but I would comply.

[cateyes]

I was just wondering if that is the normal procedure of a paternity test in NY. If not and if I don't get a good explanation why this all is done, I'll just drop it.
My ex let my lawyer already know that he will never pay a dime, even if he has to quit his job and that he never ever wants to have contact with his son ever again - but since he is a pathological liar (I know, I know - you just have my word for it but this was one of the reasons, why I divorced him) I don't trust anybody involved in this case.

Thanks for answering me ;-)
cateyes

[Gbyte]

I understand your concern... We don't have any weird things going on here yet like implanting microchips. What you will provide will likely stay sealed in family court. I would really just do it.

[Gbyte]

There's not much "normal" in custody courts anymore...

[cateyes]

My problem is...

Since he is not taking care of his son, his family won't have nothing to do with him anymore. He is the father - the test will proof that. My son has dual citizenship. I have full custody and I can decide, where he can go and where not.
In the states they will see my son only as american. If I go over there and he has filed for full custody - or even for kidnapping his son (I left the states 6 weeks before he followed me to Germany. He still had to take care of some things, like moving our stuff to Germany. He can just say I kidnapped him and he just gave in and followed me so he could be with his son. This judge believed everything he said so far - even I had proof that he was lying.) - and believe me, he is able to do that - and they take my son away, it will take me forever to get him back.
If he gets custody of my son - the doors to his family will be open wide for him again - understand what I mean?

I showed the judge papers from a tax return income, where he forged my signature and claimed me and our son on it, even we were separated for over a year and I was back in Germany - and he still believes my husband that he didn't acknowledge the whole time our son as his son.
It really makes me sick to my stomach. If I could afford it, I'd fly to the States and meet him in court to have a word with him (I mean my ex *g*)

[Gbyte]

hmm...is this for custody or child support? Maybe just drop it? I know that idea probably sucks...but it may be the easiest. I wouldnt' go back to the states if I were you. Do you have an attorney representing you? You REALLY should.

[cateyes]

This is for child support only.
I didn't even want to sue him - but I get kind of child support from the german government because my ex is not paying any and by law I have to do anything to get the money back from my ex - including dragging him in front of court. I knew from the beginning that he would never pay a dime.

I have a lawyer and my son has his - it was provided by the state of New York.

At first I had to sue my ex or I would have lost my child support from the state - the american judge told me from the beginning whatever he orders I must do - or he would drop the case.
I had one court date on the phone and I knew in a heartbeat that this man is not very fond (spelling?) of germans.
He granted every motion the laywer of my ex put in, my lawyer was hardly allowed to speak.
Everybody here working on my case within in the german government says they never had a case like this before where the judge behaves like that and lets the lawyer of my ex drag everything out - so I'm pretty sure there's something not right.
He even wanted me to testify via video conferencing - and that's where the german government put his foot down and wrote to my lawyer that there is no reason why I should have to do that since this is a simple paternity matter, that I requested a paternity test in the beginning and that's all they gonna get - and that they should tell that the judge so things get finally over with.

My ex claims that he was stationed in Afghanistan while I got pregnant - he even showed official looking papers to the court - I couldn't believe it - my ex was in Afghanistan about one and a half year after we separated - our son was almost four years by that time. The only time he was gone the year of conception was for Reforger and by that time I was already pregnant. He wrote a letter to my son after we separated, calling him "my son", apologized to him for treating me and him so bad and that he would always be there for him - blablabla... I even kept the envelope. I send a copy to my lawyer - my ex claims he never wrote that letter and the judge believes him - that says it all...

I'll try again to reach one of our lawyers today. Because of the time difference it's not that easy.
If I don't get a satisfying answser today, I drop it.

I have to go to the states once in a while, my sister and my nice live there and she can't always come to germany to visit here, my family and I take turns to go there.

Thanks for listening.
cateyes

[Gbyte]

A typical child support case in the US:

Mom requests support from dad at child support agency
Dad says "not mine!" (in your case)
DNA test ordered
Child support agency reviews incomes and sets child support
each party is notified of the amount and given 30 days to appeal
If neither party appeals, a judge reviews and signs the order
request for payroll deductions start

Maybe call the child support agency in the county handling it - that's likely where your attorneys come from - but talk to someone else. A supervisor or something....

[cateyes]

Hi Gbyte ;-)

That's what I thought, it's the same procedure as in Germany.
What puzzles me is that he first denies me and my ex the paternity test and now since the german agency put it's foot down on not letting the trial going on like that, he orderes one.
He said he doesn't order one if my son has a bond with him to protect my sons rights - and now he doesn't care anymore and comes up with oodles of stuff we have to do....

The german/american office that is responsible for finding deadbeat Dad's whereabouts in the states have never had a case like that - and the german judge was quite amused when he read the papers.

I got a hold of somebody who will find out for me if this all is really a requirement and I will decide then what I'm gonna do.
They told me the judge messed up big time and he only ordered a paternity test now to get out of this mess without losing his face.
At first the judge ordered me to be present at the court date - too bad they couldn't afford to pay for my ticket - this would be all over with by now.

Thanks ;-)
cateyes