Unwed Father's Rights - Georgia

This is a discussion on Unwed Father's Rights - Georgia within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; I know this has been addressed in another area....but I need suggestions. My son and his girlfriend have recently had ...

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Old Apr 4th, 2009, 11:22 PM   #1
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Confused Unwed Father's Rights - Georgia

I know this has been addressed in another area....but I need suggestions. My son and his girlfriend have recently had a baby. He was there through everything, Dr's visits, delivery, and after baby was born he never left her side. Well, the baby is now 1 week old and he has not been allowed to see his daughter in 3 days. All of a sudden he is not good enough to be around her (so the mom thinks). He signed the Paternity Acknowledgement Form at the hospital and the baby has his last name. He is only 18 but he is trying so hard to do the right thing. He wants to be a part of his daughter's life every second.
We are in the process of DNA testing and then go further. Is there anything else he can do for his daughter at this time? He misses her dearly and it saddens me to see him cry over his baby girl. Once he gets court order visitation can he get his daughter without mom? (She tells him the baby will not go any where without her.)
Please any suggestions will help us. We live in Georgia.

Last edited by MsSassyPooh; Apr 4th, 2009 at 11:30 PM. Reason: forgot to add state
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Old Apr 5th, 2009, 08:59 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by MsSassyPooh View Post
He wants to be a part of his daughter's life every second.
We are in the process of DNA testing and then go further. Is there anything else he can do for his daughter at this time? He misses her dearly and it saddens me to see him cry over his baby girl. Once he gets court order visitation can he get his daughter without mom? (She tells him the baby will not go any where without her.)
Please any suggestions will help us. We live in Georgia.
To address the first part - he can't be a part of his daughters life every second unless he finds a way to marry the mother and make it work....

Why DNA testing? If he signed the form at the hospital? Is he unsure?

There is an emergecy order for custody and visitation that he can ask an attorney to file.

Infant visitation is sometimes around the mother or for 1-2 hours 2-3 times a week.

The mother is still recovering - mentally, physically, emotionally....

She needs support and understanding. Then your son may be more welcome at this difficult time for her...and maybe not. But, what bigger stress after giving birth to a baby that's been in your belly for 9 months and now, as your still bleeding, someone is trying to take your baby (that will be her perception).

There is a poster on this board that thinks pregnancy and giving birth is no greater stress than going to Walmart and that there is no bond between a mother and child after this. He'll post soon I'm sure.

Last edited by Gbyte; Apr 5th, 2009 at 09:14 AM.
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Old Apr 5th, 2009, 10:35 AM   #3
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Default re: Unwed Father's Rights - Georgia

He has tried to be there for the mother and she makes it impossible. The home his daughter is in in not the best of homes and he tries to stress that in a nice way but the mother will not listen. So, he feels he isnt protecting his daughter . Her family says he has no rights.
We have been told by lawyers he has to do DNA testing since they were not married. That's the only reason we are doing it. (To lagitimize his daughter.) We are not sure what we are to do in this situation thats why I am asking for help/suggestions.
He isnt, at this pont, trying to take his daughter he just wants time with her. And for his family to be able to see his daughter. And at her home would be ok with us but we arent allowed at this point.
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Old Apr 5th, 2009, 06:31 PM   #4
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He signed paternity. DNA test not required (though recommended if there is the slighest doubt).

He should start small. Just giving birth - hormones - physical trauma - the MAJOR life change - and being a single new mom, she's going to be a bit difficult to work with for a while.

I'd say he should call and see when would be a good time for you two to stop over for a half an hour. When there, BE SO nice. Bring her something. Flowers, chocolate, something nice. Leave respectfully and thankfully in exactly 30 minutes, let her know if she needs a break EVER she can call. Thank her, inquire as to how she's feeling...then ask if you can setup 2-3 days a week to do this for a whlie. If there's another room, it could give her a bit to nap or take a shower... treat her like you would if she was your daughter.

I'm going to guess she's likely already going to be quite pissed if she's got to get a lawyer 1wk after child birth. But you could try.

Many men here think there is no reason to show respect or be thankful to a mom who risked her life and gave up body to bring a child into this world. That you need to push her around and show her who is in charge. I disagree. I'm suprised they haven't posted yet...

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
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Old Apr 5th, 2009, 07:31 PM   #5
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Thank you so much for giving us suggestions. I was wondering if he signed the correst forms why we needed dna. Was told its a new law. Confused me, lol. We have also tried every way possible to help her and he just gets pushed away. He has tried calling all day and she tells him she is sleeping and baby is fine. So, I guess for now we have to just hang in there.
I do not want to throw the whole lawyer ordeal in there unless we just have to. I am hoping everyone can just love and cherish this baby girl without all the court things going on. (I was just getting ready to do as we were told we needed to do for his rights or whatever.) Makes me feel better that maybe there is a simple way to try this for now.
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Old Apr 5th, 2009, 07:57 PM   #6
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Have him drop off some formula with a bundle of dasies...wtih a treat - ie ice cream or chocolates. Just drop them off, mention he'd like to come back when it's a good time and see the baby.

Then call the next day. Ask to swing by for a few minutes. If she says the baby is asleep, say - could you call me when he/she wakes up? I'd like to bring a little something (ie blanket - stuffed animal)...etc...

Kiss some butt. She's been through a lot. If you can't get her to thaw soon...then do what you gotta do.

Don't ASK to offer help. Just DO it. Don't say - do you need anything...just bring it. Drop off diapers. Don't ask if she needs them. New mom's don't like to ask for help (at least that's how I was). Put a reciept on them if you don't know if it's the right brand. Civility and respect goes a LONG way (even if it's not returned right away).

Don't give up.
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Old Apr 6th, 2009, 07:43 PM   #7
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Daisies? Kiss her butt?
For denying him access to his child?
GByte could make a career out of excusing deplorable behavior on the part of mothers.
Fact is, this young lady is NEVER going to acknowledge your son's parental rights. You do NOT need "kiss her butt", which will only confirm in her mind the idea that your son has to do whatever she tells him to, and put up with whatever she decides. That is probably the WORST thing you could do.
What you and your son need to do is start asserting his parental rights NOW. He signed the birth certificate in the presence of the mother and without her objection. He should file a motion for immediate visitation for him and his family. He should file a motion for permanent 50/50 custody and cite the fact that the mother is already denying the child access to its father.
Start fighting now. Her attitude is not going to change.
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Old Apr 6th, 2009, 08:25 PM   #8
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Now you meet the poster who thinks risking your life for a child is no different than picking one up off the shelf. She should have a damn chance to recover. She should be treated with some respect for bringing a child into this world. I hope you don't listen to this thing (I won't even call it a man).

50/50 custody of a week old infant...you're pathetic. WAR! THAT IS THE PROPER PATH TO 50/50 PARENTING! SHOW HER WHO'S IN CHARGE! HIT HER WHEN SHE'S DOWN!

You really make me sick.
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Old Apr 6th, 2009, 10:07 PM   #9
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She should show respect for his rights as a father. He should not accept anything less.
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Old Apr 6th, 2009, 10:21 PM   #10
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Well, I am not sure if her attitude will ever change. He tried again today along with my sister and my niece (they called and she said they could come over). When they got there they were told she nor the baby was there. SO, I am really beginning to wonder here.
Not to knock any dads, but not too many boys (as I still call my son, yes I know he is an adult) stand up and do the right thing when it comes to new babies. Some run and say its not theirs. He is trying so hard to do the right thing and every time it seems he is slapped in the face. He has EVERYTHING he needs for his daughter. He bought it all and was very well prepared.
I am not sure how much more he can take. And yes, she already seems to think she has TOTAL control. And last I checked it is best to have 2 parents not just one. We aren't pushing too hard just yet. But with her attitude I feel it is coming and I really hate that for the child.
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