is this fair?

[baseballking]

i have a child on the way. the mother and i are seperated. we discussed custody plan and i dont want to agree with it. the child is not here yet so im not in a huge hurry but i do however want to have my child as much as posible her plan is as follows: Starting when she is 8 months old IF YOU HAVE YOUR LICENSE...
1st and 3rd weekends-pick up Fridays at 6pm/return Sundays at 6pm
2 weeks in the summer non-consecutive
(Requests to be made in writing for these vacation dates by march 1st of every year)
HOLIDAYS:
Mothers Day-ashley
Fathers Day-Marc pick up 9am-7pm
Ashleys Bday-Ashley
Marcs Bday- Marc 9am-7pm
Easter- every other 2010-ashley, 2011 marc
July 4th- every other 2009-ashley, 2010 marc
Thanksgiving-Marc pickup at 9am-7pm
December 23 & 24 marc pickup at 9am/return 7 pm on the 24th. To start in 2010.
Christmas-Ashley
Ashley has sole legal and physical custody.
Marc has visitation rights

this plan leaves me with around 66 days a year to be with my child. to me this seems unfair the 8 month thing realy gets me i dont think i should have to wait that long to have my child overnight. she says that she would alow me to visit her at her house whenever i wanted. she lives about an hour away from me and i dont have a drivers license. I want to try to get a plan that includes me alot more. i think that she will make a great mother but to cast me out to 66 days a year seems unfair i want joint legal cusdody and i want her to agree to somthing different that includes me more for parenting time. as far as being in the best intrest of the child i dont know if i am i have a felony drug charge that i am on probation for right now plus the no drivers licence and i lost my job due to layoff. im working at my dads shop but its not an over the table job. i dont do drugs anymore or assosiate with drug users i dont drink alcohol and i think that i can provide a very good life for my daughter. this visitation plan just seems unfair to me but is it realy? should i try to take her to court or will i end up with less?

[Gbyte]

Move closer. That's my recommendation. Hard to have any decent parenting time with an infant when you're 2 hours away.

[baseballking]

only one hour but thats still a bit of a drive

[Gbyte]

Sorry...I meant 2 hours round trip....

[baseballking]

well in our current situation do you think this is fair i dont know if i can even get my drivers licence back that soon what about the 8 month thing is that crazy or is it just me i dont want to agree on this unless i know that i couldnt get anything better in court. i dont realy think that i can aford a lawyer. another question would be: can she stick me with her atournys bill? we were never married but i dont know the rules on that. moving closer would help things but i have another child here in my home town and i see her all the time i dont know if its the distance that is keeping her from giving me more parenting time she says that she dosent trust me. she told me that if in time she thinks that i can be a good provider and violet is safe with me we can work out somthing different. this gives me somthing to look forward to but i think that i am more than capable of taking care of a infant i have done it before. am i the unreasonable parent here? i realy dont know. like i said i think she will be a great mother.

[tbyte]

You absolutely need to fight to prevent her from having sole custody.
You need to arrange a shared parenting plan with co-custody, even if this means she is the residential parent and you get only the minimal visitation. It will allow you to expand your visitation later on, prevent her from moving the child away, and allow you to participate in child-rearing decisions.
This mother, like most, believes that you as the father should have absolutely no rights except for those she allows. Do not let her get away with this.

[baseballking]

thanks for the advise. i will fight for custody. but given my current situation i am worried that she will win. remember i caint afford a lawyer plus the drug thing is current. i dont want to fight and lose but not having custody would be loseing. i have some things figured out everyone has told me to fight for custody and reasonable parenting. how far can i get without a lawyer? will i be made a fool of in court? and i dont know what to think about the 8 month thing that just seems silly to me. is 8 months a normal time to have to wait to get your child overnight? im sorry for having so many questions but i dont know anything but the laws. they dont tell me what to expect given my situation.

[eunicemay]

If you really want to have your son/daughter then fight for it get experts about child custody to definitely win this case. I myself can't afford to lose my son whatever it takes I will definite fight for my right.


I wish you luck.

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