"residential parent" question....

Hello,

I am a divorced father of three. My ex and I share joint custody with her being named the "residential" parent. Our kids live with me more often than her due to her work schedule and my personal life being a bit more stable both financially and residentially. She isn't a druggie or anything like that so I doubt I can get the court to modify the custody papers and name me the residential parent. However, considering the amount of time they spend with me vs. her I feel she should be helping me financially with our kids. My concern though is if I take her to court over child support can she then use her "residential" parent status as a way to take them from me? They have been living with me full-time for about the entire time we've been divorced (about a year), they are on my health benefits, and the address listed on their school registration is mine. Is their anything I can do or does anybody have any advice? Thanks a lot for your time. In short I want her to help financially, but I'm not going to risk it if she has the legal right to take the kids from me.

[Gbyte]

If your order names a "residential" parent and you try for child support - YOU will likely pay HER.

The residential parent would be the recipient of child support. You would have to have the residential parent changed in court.

Thanks for the reply, Gbyte. I don't understand why I'd be paying her when they are with me 80% of the time and that is probably an underestimate. The thing I'm most worried about though is her knocking on my door one day and saying she's taking the kids because of her being named the residential parent. Can she do this or is there anything I can do to keep that from happening? Thanks.

[Gbyte]

The residential parent is the ONLY parent that can recieve child support. In a "true" shared parenting, neither is named residential but support is still awarded in many cases based on the time share and incomes. You'd have to have your current timeshare submitted to and approved by the courts with you being the residential parent in the shared parenting plan (ie they'd go to school based on where you live unless you agree otherwise). THEN, you can shoot for child support (I'd recommend waiting on requesting child support until AFTER the custody order - that way she may not fight quite as much - though your attorney can advise you better than I).

She can revert to whatever the court previously scheduled at any time without warning. You'll need to consult an attorney - talk to them about how to log the current schedule...then be prepared to submit a modification of custody to the courts.

And...don't let her know you are preparing for this of course - if she gets wind, she'll likely revert before you have enough info to win a modification of custody.

[Gbyte]

Oh...and they'd base child support on the court ordered schedule - to my knowledge. Which is why you'd likely end up paying her if she is court ordered to have 50% or more of the time and makes less than you.

Thank you, Gbyte! I've searched on my own for weeks trying to find the answers to my questions. You've been a great help.

[Gbyte]

Good luck...custody court to me feels like a never ending nightmare...

Honestly...knowing what I know now, I never would have filed for support.

[tbyte]

Originally Posted by Gbyte If your order names a "residential" parent and you try for child support - YOU will likely pay HER.

Not necessarily. What State is this case in?

Originally Posted by Gbyte The residential parent would be the recipient of child support. You would have to have the residential parent changed in court.

This is certainly the best strategy. Custodial status can be changed if it can be demonstrated that their has been a significant change in circumstances affecting the children since the time of the original order. If originally the children were residing primarily with their mother, and currently they are residing primarily with you, then this should qualify.
The problem is, the moment you file in court your the mother is going to take the children back with to her house and restrict you to the absolute minimum possible visitation up until the court date.
So you are going to need to file a motion for temporary custody pending the hearing, and you will need to supply adequate evidence of your claims in the form of calendars, receipts, doctors reports, school reports, etc.

Thanks again, Gbyte.

Thank you also, tbyte. This is in Arizona....

I will definitely pursue "temporary custody" prior to my attempt to change the custody status. Thanks for letting me know, because she would definitely take them from me when she found out.

[tbyte]

Originally Posted by Gbyte The residential parent is the ONLY parent that can recieve child support.

In Ohio, both parents are considered "residential" when the children are residing at their home, and the official residential status is for school placement purposes only.
In my case, the Fifth District Court of Appeals fortunately ruled in my favor because I was specifically designated the "sole" residential parent, but left open the option of requiring a Residential parent to pay child support to a non-residential parent.
So it is still a gray area with lots of wiggle room for courts to continue their anti-father bias. I would be interested in seeing a case appealed where a mother designated as the residential parent was ordered to pay child support to a non-residential father, base upon her having a greater income. That would be an interesting test case.