Custody of my granddaughter: My daughter is not ready to be a mom.

[jodiadams]

My 15 year old daughter recently gave birth to a beautiful little girl. In the beginning we agreed she would assume her role as the mother and with my help would continue in school. After three months we have both agreed she is not ready to be a mom and she has asked me to assume custody to which I happily agreed. What steps to we need to take to for me to have custody. The father of the child is non existent in her life and wasn't named on the birth registration or certificate. His mom has minimal contact as well. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Gbyte]

Do you want to adopt? Or just assume control? A guardianship will allow you to assume control. If you don't get any great answers - I'd go to the ask an attorney section and pay $10.00 to see if you can get a good one there.

[tbyte]

The father is NOT non-existent.
You apparently know who the father is. You think you are acting selflessly here, but you are not. You are seeking to take possession of this child, limit its mother's contact, and completely exclude the father. When, if you really had your grandchild's best interest at heart, you would be working to promote positive parenting skills with both of its parents.
10 years from now, your daughter, and perhaps your grandchild's father, will be posting on this board begging for help trying to establish rights to see their own child. We get lots of posts like that.

[jodiadams]

Hold on a second. First of all, you don't know me or have any right to judge me or my actions. The father is essentially non existent because HE chooses to be. HE was also the one who refused to be named on any of her birth documents. He's been given every opportunity to be involved in his daughters life not only by us but by his own mother. Yet he refuses. Yes we are looking into a guardianship. Nothing more as my daughter and I both agree that once she's established, she will resume full role as the mother. So if wanting to do what's best for my daughter and granddaughter is selfish,,then yes I am. Before you decide to pass judgment on someone, get all the facts first.

[tbyte]

You haven't stated any facts that change my opinion in any way.
How old is the father?

[Gbyte]

So what tbyte - if the father refuses to be involved should they lock the father in a room against his will with an infant two hours a day to see if he changes his mind?

She doesn't speak of limiting either parents contact.

Good luck with your grandchild. Hopefully it will all work out in the end.

[tbyte]

The father is likely still a child himself.
GByte, you and I have seen plenty of desperate mothers and fathers in their twenties on this board who are desperate to regain custody of children they had when they were in their teens.
These grandparents should be doing everything they can to assist the parents, not replace them.

[tbyte]

I mean, does anybody really believe that a 15 year old child is capable of making this decision, or did so without pressure from the grandparent:
"After three months we have both agreed she is not ready to be a mom and she has asked me to assume custody to which I happily agreed."
Of course not.

[jodiadams]

thyte;
i'm not out to hurt either of these kids, my daughter lives with me and the door has been and always will be open to the father anytime he chooses. what would you have me do? turn my back when my daughter came to me with this? is that the positive parenting you spoke of? it's a guardianship, not adoption or custody. it doesn't take anything away from either of the parents. i don't know what you've heard or seen from others or what you've experienced in your own life but i have no intention of keeping either parent from this child and have done everything i can to make sure the father is included. we took the baby to have portraits done and he was sent a copy of every picture. i received them back a week later with a note to "keep this f*****g baby away from me, all she did was ruin my life". this is what you are defending. this is what you are so bitter towards me for.

[tbyte]

Originally Posted by jodiadams it's a guardianship, not adoption or custody. it doesn't take anything away from either of the parents.

In all your posts so far, you have specifically stated that you are seeking custody, not guardianship.
I don't see any reason to pursue custody unless you intend for it to be permanent. So exactly what role are you pursuing?