Never seen son's father, now the father is seeking access

I have had no contact with my son's father since pregnancy.He has made no attempt to see him or contacted me in any way.
Csa finally made a attachment to his earning in December and I have now been told he is seeking access.
He has a long history of drug abuse also has a voilent temper and he does frighten me.He has a new partner and another two children,his partner left him before christmas and went to a refudge because of the mental abuse of her and her children but has since gone back.He apparently is now on anti-depressents,mood disorder tablets and is going to a drug rehilibation course.
He name is not on the birth certificate and I am now so worried that he may get some supervised visits.This will be extremely damaging to my son who has no idea who he is.
Also he does have a 10 yr old son who is also not allowed to see who has to have councelling because of his father's behaviour and last time he saw his father was violently sick as soon as he saw him.
Will any of this be taken into account ??

[tbyte]

Yes, all of it will be taken into account.
How old is your child?
And just how did you hook up with this guy? Sheesh.....

My child will be 5 next month.
Not really the issue how I hooked up with him is it.I had no clue he was doing drugs until I was 4 months pregnant,I gave him a chance to get help and stop doing it.He failed to do so and I have raised my son since then and given a very stable and secure life.

Also could anyone tell me if this is correct,I was told that if a father has had no contact or made any attempt to see their child in five years they do not have any rights to do so.

[tbyte]

More complicated that that.
If the child was born out of wedlock, then you have full and total custody by default, and the father has not rights at all until such time as they are granted by a court of law.
If you are trying to claim abandonment to prevent him from acquiring any rights, five years would be more than long enough, but for the fact that he is now actively seeking parental rights and attempting to contact his child. So, it would have been better if you'd claimed abandonment a year ago.
And as far was whether its an issue why you hooked up with him, no it is unrelated to your current situation. I'm just always curious why women make such stupid choices in men.

[Gbyte]

Because men are often decietful and manuipulating to get what they want (some more so than others and varies with maturity). If you don't know that...geez.

And women can be too.

[tbyte]

Originally Posted by Gbyte Because men are often decietful and manuipulating to get what they want (some more so than others and varies with maturity). If you don't know that...geez. And women can be too.

No no, what I want to know is why you fools keep hooking up with the ones that are deceitful and manipulating. I mean, I thought that biologically, you were supposed to make smarter, more careful choices. Yet you consistently choose losers over and over again.

Originally Posted by tbyte No no, what I want to know is why you fools keep hooking up with the ones that are deceitful and manipulating. I mean, I thought that biologically, you were supposed to make smarter, more careful choices. Yet you consistently choose losers over and over again.

Do you even live in society tbyte?

Since when have people ever acted this way... of either gender?

In answer to reply.No I have not picked loser's over and over.My son is approaching five and I have not had a relationship since his father.I have never introduced another man in his life but he has great relationship's with my father and my six brothers.So has certainly not been denied decent hard working male influences in his life.
I have done the best for my son and feel the emotional damage that his father has done to his oldest child and now his two youngest is not something that my child should be put through.
I don't believe in stopping decent father's from seeing their children or using them as a weapon,but when a father can harm a child mentally or physically I fail to see the good of them seeing each other.
My son will grow up being a stable,secure child who if he ever want's to meet his father will understand why I never encouraged a relationship unlike his other children that scream or are violently sick when they see him.

[Gbyte]

Originally Posted by tbyte No no, what I want to know is why you fools keep hooking up with the ones that are deceitful and manipulating. I mean, I thought that biologically, you were supposed to make smarter, more careful choices. Yet you consistently choose losers over and over again.

What's your ex like tbyte? I thought biologically - men were supposed to make smarter more careful choices.... ??

Do you even know the definition of manupulating? Or deceit? These are not things that are quickly learned about if the user of these traits is good.

So...do you think looking at someone tells you their past and future? Can see if they are going to be an alcoholic - can see if the ever did drugs - can see if they've ever been unfaithful - can see if they are truthful (sometimes can get a feeling - but knowing the truth is a different thing).

You prove yourself more and more to be a fool every day (you called the women here fools - don't delete me).