Child custody out of state

It's a long story but here it is.


I have a 7 month old with my ex whom I left because he was being verbally abusive and refused couples counseling. We lived in richmond, va and I moved to memphis, tn to be with my family and continue my education. I am currently living with my sister in my own room with a crib and everything, I go to school full time, i don't drink, smoke, or do any drugs. I am looking for a job on weekends only and spend the rest of my time with my son. The father wanted me to give him our son for 2 years until i am done with school and then return and help raise him.. I refused and He then asked I live with him for 18 years until our child turns 18 then I can go wherever I want and I refused that too. So he's not very happy with me and he's taking me to court. He has said he's sending court papers to my sisters ( being served) and is asking for 100% custody and after he gets custody he will be moving to New york with my son and I can come if i want to or I'm screwed. When I last talked to him he let me know he got the most dirty lawyer he could find and will be telling the judge i am unfit, i don't feed our child right, that he thinks I might have ADD and can't maintain relationships.

After I left him he got in contact with a counselor who asked him to move to memphis, tn and get a job here or transfer his current job to memphis which he agreed he would think about but when we got out of counseling( i was on speakerphone) he said " forget it, i love my job and i don't plan on leaving it just because some feminist counselor told me to" he then canceled the counseling and refused to go back. I left my job when I moved from Richmond, va so I am in memphis, tn with no job and I can't afford a lawyer. He earns over 80k and is saying i am keeping him away from his child, but i didn't have anywhere else to go in Richmond. when he came to see his son on Christmas he tried to lock himself in the bathroom with him. So i told him he can see him but i want it supervised until the court papers are here. he has said I kidnapped my son but he would never do that..i am afraid he would do it ( tick for tac)
I have gone to legal aid in memphis and asked for legal assistance.. should i be looking for one in richmond? i have been in Memphis since dec 19 2008, A lawyer told me to avoid getting served and don't show up to any Richmond court dates he might have and that in 6 months it will be Memphis that has jurisdiction..this sounds risky to me. what should i do?

Should I let him see his son on all the weekends he wants without/with supervision until court date?
should i ask for money for diapers and baby food ? ( he refuses to send the babies winter clothes so i have to buy new ones)
I don't know how to prove I am until not unfit. I also wanted to continue breastfeeding until he is 1 or 15 months
If he wins I don't want my baby going to new york..

Please any advice would be appreciated, especially if you're a richmond lawyer!

Thank You

[Gbyte]

Well...with moving, you kinda brought this on yourself...though I understand your motives (family). Try to walk in his shoes...Some men want to be involved, some don't and some pretend to want to be involved to torture the ex (who knows better) or impress others with how good of a dad he is. If he is one that really wants to be involved....consider getting a job and apartment closer - and going to school closer to him. Somewhere in the middle of where he lives and your family lives. File for child support if you haven't yet.

You will have to get a loan from someone or find an attorney that will take your case without a retainer. You will have to get a job to pay for it. Welcome to the life of separated parenting and custody battles.

Are you married to him? If so, he could take your child back to his home during a weekend visit and file an emergency motion for temporary custody - he could likely be granted it - as it is a one sided hearing, he'd have custody of the child and you moved away.

If not married - he could still take the child. The police may or may not assist in getting the child back to your care. If they don't - YOU have to file an emergency order to get the child returned to you.

Custody cases are filed based on where the child lived for the last six months. You're new home doesn't yet qualify. It too sounds risky to me to ignore New York hearings if he files there.

There is an ask an attorney section in this site for $10.00. I think you should ask.