absent dad wants back (time for re-introductory period)

Long story short...daughter's father disappeared when she was 15 months. She is now almost 4. He calls, says he's changed, he wants to be part of her life "for good." We have orders from Dec 2005-never followed. Now that he wants back, I want a modification, he doesn't want lawyers involved. Should I get the court involved anyway? Also what is standard time frame for "re-introductory period?" Not looking for hard and fast #'s, just general guidelines in case we do it ourselves.

[sunlover]

Him wanting to be in his childs life is good. However take no risk get your Attorney involved! He should get no unsupervised visits until his child is comfortable with him. In fact I would suggest a period of which he sees child at your home or you tag along. Your Attorney can advise you best

[spinmaster61]

You dont want lawyers involved either? Ever delt with pro sa. Aggravating process! A pro sa judge can do the same thing as a judge a lawyer gets you in front of . Mostly depends on how fast you want it done.um... pro sa vs. using your own juris doctor. I would go with juris doctor. My lawyer can get on docket alot quicker than goaing pro sa. Also depends on how your bank roll looks. Aso depends on how much you know about law and case law!Best Regards

[spinmaster61]

You dont want lawyers involved either? Ever delt with pro sa. Aggravating process! A pro sa judge can do the same thing as a judge a lawyer gets you in front of . Mostly depends on how fast you want it done.um... pro sa vs. using your own juris doctor. I would go with juris doctor. My lawyer can get on docket alot quicker than goaing pro sa. Also depends on how your bank roll looks. Aso depends on how much you know about law and case law!Best Regards.

[tbyte]

Oh jeez....
First, its "Pro se", not "pro sa".
Second, there is no such thing as a "Pro se judge".
Third, a Juris Doctor is merely a professional degree. Most, if not all attorneys in the U.S. would have a J.D., and the degree alone does not qualify one to practice law. For that, the candidate must pass a Bar exam.
Fourth, the docket is merely the court schedule. How quickly you get on the docket is a matter of how soon you file, not whether you have an attorney do it for you.

To the original poster: What do you want changed from the current visitation orders, and why?

[Gbyte]

Typically your phase in time would be once a week for 2-3 hours for 2-3 weeks. Then add a second day. After 1-2 months (when the child is comfortable), 1 mid week (say 3-7) and every Sunday 12-8. After another month, mid week and 1 over night every other week. After another 1-2 months - if all is going OK (note: doesn't have to be perfect...just OK will suffice), add the second overnight if you are set for the standard schedule.

That would be my recommendation. I wouldn't get the lawyers or courts involved personally...

[spinmaster61]

Yes get a lawyer.Don't even listen to armchair lawyers.For gods sake get a lawyer.A lawyer with a degree!

Thanks everyone. Actually I do want lawyers involved. He doesn't, and I feel that if I go against his wishes he will disappear again. Our first visit is tomorrow, and once he meets our kiddo, I want that to be it. I do not want him to be one of those in-and-out fathers.

As for what I want changed, it's mainly just that I want some supervised visits initially. At first I suggested 2-5 supervised visits, but at two hrs each that was only 4-10 hours of getting-to-know-each-other time. That's mainly what I'm trying to fix. The rest of the orders are great. Perfect for building slowly.

I have called several different organizations around here for a guideline, and NOT ONE will give me any advice. Just say call your atty. I suppose I'm noticing a running theme here.

[sunlover]

I am reading something you need to stop. "I want" What you want has nothing to do with this. Its what is in child's best interest not what you want! If you fear he will disappear again if you involve your Lawyer then you know right off the bat he isnt serious. Involve your Lawyer!! Protect you and the child! If he leaves with child he can, he is Father! Do you want that?

[spinmaster61]

If he decides to be a in and out dad. And to put it simply ther isn't anything you can do about his actions of choice. Get a lawyer. And get your honor to put into efect what you want done in your case! per your honors orders!