How to get custody of dtr away from a suicidal mom

I am writing in reference to our granddaughter's situation. Her dad, our ex-son-in-law is looking into trying to get custody of her which we completely support. To make a long story short, my step-daughter has a lot of mental issues. She has a narcissistic and psychotic personality. She has caused a lot of harm to everyone in the family. Currently she has custody of our 13 year old granddaughter who for her own well being needs to be removed. Her father is trying to do that however, his funds are very limited. We support him and if we had the money, we would give it to him to hire a lawyer to take her back to court. We are in an urgent situation. It has come to our attention, that it is now more important than ever that we get her away from her mother. The mental, emotional abuse she receives from her mother is totally uncalled for however, this past weekend proved to us we can no longer wait until he has the money. Her safety has now been threatened. My step-daughter's mom had committed suicide some years back and now she is threatening to do the same and has told her daughter that if she leaves her to live with her dad that she will do what her mom did and that she will have to live with it the rest of her life like she had to. That is so wrong on so many levels. What we have to be concerned with, knowing how she is, what is to stop her from doing that and taking our granddaughter along with her? You see, she is a very self centered vindictive individual that it really isn't hard to think that she might. What is the most selfish act she can do and what is the most vindictive thing she can do? Exactly what I had said. I have left out a lot of the background of my step-daughter due to the fact that this will be the longest post ever. But believe me, it has now become a life or death situation. We have a printout of her blog that she wrote on her myspace about committing suicide and also this past Saturday, we understand that she was taken to the hospital for overdosing on pills. She didn't take enough to kill herself but she took enough to look as if she was trying. It was more of an attention thing but the fact remains is that the intention is there. How can our ex-son-in-law get his daughter away from her mother immediately when his funds are very limited? Is there something that he can do? I have been told that if he could get the documentation from the hospital and any other proof of her suicidal intentions that he can then take it either to a county judge to request an immediate temporary custody order while an investigation is done or he can take the evidence to Child Protective Services and have them remove her from the situation. Are these possibilities and if so, how would he go about getting copies of the hospital records due to patient confidentiality? Is there another way he can go about it that will result in immediate removal due to her life being threatened? That's exactly how we see it and feel. We are trying to do all we can to prevent my stepdaughter from doing any more harm to our granddaughter and definitely trying to protect her life. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. We reside in Texas in case you need to know.

[lori509]

Here is what little I know....

It is extremely hard to prove mental illness for the very reason you stated - patient confidentiality. As far as I know the only person who can get around that is her counselor who is obligated (often times) by law to report it to the authorities if they believe a child is not safe. If the wheels do not turn in that direction getting the hospital to fork over the records to you ex-son-in-law simply is not going to happen. This is why a lawyer needs to step in they can sometimes under certain circumstances petition the court to gain the records. A lay person could never do this (that I'm aware of....) Really what needs to happen is your son needs to start interviewing lawyers and consider hiring one. Many custody lawyers are very flexible with payment plans - it's not a shoe in that he'll win but if the emergency is that dire then it sounds like it would be worth it. (Side note here; my pals lawyer cost her $800 dollars all told, it was about five years back, but still it's not the staggering sum many imply we pay into lawyers.)

Sidenote; I don't think a myspace page will carry much weight to create an investigation tho the best you can do there is call CPS. Your granddaughter talking to a school authority might help - they are also obligated to report a dangerous situation that a child is in, this is also true of medical doctors. All I'm saying here is I cannot see you gaining access to the records you mentioned without an agency or a lawyer stepping in.

p.s. keep at it tho; I know of one mother in my state who lost custody because she was suicidal it is often a valid reason to allow the father custody.

[Gbyte]

Now...if she's suicidal, and posted it on my space...I'd call the police and report a suicide risk. See if they can intervene...

I don't know much about this topic though.

[spinmaster61]

Originally Posted by Gbyte Now...if she's suicidal, and posted it on my space...I'd call the police and report a suicide risk. See if they can intervene... I don't know much about this topic though.

As if you wouldn't think our court systems aren't flooded with enough b.s. from my space. To do that you would really be playing in space!

[lori509]

Well actually I think it depends on how busy the police are ... no offense meant of course. But recently my sister-in-law got a police visit concerning something her son put on my space. (He had mentioned his pals using drugs...) totally different topic, I know, but they acted on it. It never led to a conviction but it did start an investigation. (It was in Spokane Wa a medium sized city, in a larger city (Portland, Seattle etc...) I'm sure it would have never gotten any play time with the local police.)

I lean myself towards giving it a shot - it wouldn't hurt anything for Grandma to try.

[spinmaster61]

Originally Posted by lori509 Well actually I think it depends on how busy the police are ... no offense meant of course. But recently my sister-in-law got a police visit concerning something her son put on my space. (He had mentioned his pals using drugs...) totally different topic, I know, but they acted on it. It never led to a conviction but it did start an investigation. (It was in Spokane Wa a medium sized city, in a larger city (Portland, Seattle etc...) I'm sure it would have never gotten any play time with the local police.) I lean myself towards giving it a shot - it wouldn't hurt anything for Grandma to try.

Actualy i wont pass any judgement on grandma. Thats her storie. I should of narrowed my statement to include police.

[lori509]

Actually Spin - like I mentioned I'm sure in some cities any my space stuff would be completely be ignored just as you stated. You had a good point.

Like you I'm way on Grandma's side here - that situation has to be heartwrenching for her.

[spinmaster61]

Originally Posted by lori509 Actually Spin - like I mentioned I'm sure in some cities any my space stuff would be completely be ignored just as you stated. You had a good point. Like you I'm way on Grandma's side here - that situation has to be heartwrenching for her.

AGREED

go with it....we are going through the same exact thing my sons girlfriend is suicidle and she wrote it all over face book...I am doing as a grandmother what ever it takes to get my granddaughter away from a very bad situation ....in my case my granddaughter lives with a woman her non maternal grandmother who has been involved with the DSS system and also had a baby of 9 months die in her care I am so scared for my little girl I am going to give up everything I have for her and for my son who is the best darn man in the whole world and if the judge keeps the baby with her after all that we have then I will sell my soul to take custody of her myself Grandparents Have rights to ..........its not about us its about the children .......God Bless you all in your time of need you are not alone........Good luck I will say a prayer for you and your son ......