parenting time

Well, I don't exactly know what he is currently doing, but I know that he was addicted to heroine and that is why the visits are supervised and he goes to a Methadone clinic everyday and I have no clue to why he was hospitalized recently. So, I do have reason to believe it is drug related. I am not making excuses, but I feel I have always given him the benefit of the doubt for too long. I am going to allow the visit under supervision, but I can not help to feel that this is unfair to our son. He has done this so many times it's pathetic.

[sunlover]

If your concern is Grandma will not supervise properly and is bias suggest new supervisor. Everything you just posted is an assumption and nothing more!

So, basically if I allow the visit and then he doesn't see our son for another 3 months I am supposed to go along with it...we don't even follow the original schedule since it was ordered in 2007. I'm just ranting at this point because I don't see the justification if the court can't force a parent to call or visit their child, but I can't deny when he feels he wants to see our son???

[sunlover]

Who said it was fair? Besides the person who is really suffering is not you or Dad its the child

That is exactly who I am speaking of when I say it's unfair, I am only advocating on behalf of our child. Well, I appreciate all the input.

[sunlover]

Nothing in your posts suggests this about the child! Its reads like its about you and Dad! Sadly in famlies of Divorce this is all too often the case. The parents make things about them and unresolved anger than about the child! Dad has rights you cannot take those rights away. Dad sought those rights and was granted them with conditions. His complete failure to be a Dad to child is not a legal matter! Your refusing court ordered visitation is. The child needs his Dad in his life for whatever brief time that is. You do not have the legal or moral right to deny that. My husband has custody of his children from his EX she has "supervised visits only" She has exercised those rights 3 times in 9 years!! Yet my husband knows the emotional value of contact even with a Mom they dont recognize as such. He tells them they must talk each week when she calls, if she calls and that they "must" talk to her on any Holiday or special occasion. Because there is no hatred or anything of the like, the children are all doing well. Each got A's and B's on report card two got citizenship awards one is in a gifted program and are role models to their peers. Do they look forward to talking to their Mother? No they don't as she was abusive. However they are taught to give her respect and treat her nicely on phone. Their talks are brief. They see "me" as Mom but know who their Mother is. They are loved. We do not speak ill of thier Mother or allow them to. They are free to discuss issues of past but not to judge. The results speak for themself! Yes by all means make sure this child has a relationship no matter how small with Dad

[spinmaster61]

Give him all the visits with child he wants.It is good for the child. expieriance says the more you go above even the order the faster they fall off. The parent is under a magnifying glass child will have questions answer them honestly.It pays big devidends.

[lori509]

"I don't want to be difficult, but this is not fair to our son that he is in and out of his life."

If he is at Grandma's this point is meaningless... at the end of the day there is only one point to consider.

Let your child know whey they came from as long as it does not pose a threat to him/her. (that includes visiting Grandma & Grandpa even if he is there...)