indiana parenting time guidelines help

[bryan47805]

My understanding is these guidelines are law. I'm a father of 3, I have joint physical custody. my ex has started not letting the kids talk to me on the phone or I hear her say get off the phone with your fu##ing dad. She also didn't send clothes this week or last weeks visitation.and my 5 year old girl didn't have on underwear. I have the kids on my days off 7 out of 14 days. She is also not paying for field trips notbooks etc. For school. She also isn't using the option for additional parenting time. She leaves them with a babysitter overnight without asking if I want them. I sent a letter to the court and I get nothing from them. I don't have 1000 to get a lawyer what do I do??? Please help my kids. All I want is the rules to be followed. And I didn't see if this will get me in trouble on here but here is a link to indiana parenting time guidelines.

http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/index.html

Thank you

[bryan47805]

Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.

[bryan47805]

Oh and the link to the guidelines is here

http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/index.html

Thank you

[spinmaster61]

It sounds serious. Ibelive this site called LEGAL CLUB OF AMERICA.Has flat fee for maritial law cases . I dont know how to write it so you can click on it. But i do know people who have used it.And had good luck.Iknow time is of essence.And law is law.best regards.

[tbyte]

Bryan. Congratulations. You have your children 50% of the time. That makes you an equal parent.
Now start acting like one.
The mother should not be sending clothes for "visitations", any more than you should be sending clothes for their "visitiations" with the mother. Have four or five changes of clothes at your home. If you want your children to feel like your home is a home, they should not be packing as if going off to visit grandma and grandpa.
Probably can't do anything about her not paying for field trips and notebooks. Good. Those things are cheap, and every time you pay for a field trip let your children know that their happiness is worth every penny to you. Every time they need school supplies, that is an opportunity to take them shopping. Trust me, they will figure out which parent is taking care of them, and who they can depend upon.
As for not using you for the option of additional parenting time, the correct course of action is to file a motion for contempt (assuming this is specified in the court orders). Sending a "letter" to the judge will not cut it. That is considered ex-parte communication, and the judge is required to ignore it. You don't need a lawyer to file contempt charges against her. She will be the one who needs a lawyer, those she may get a public defender for contempt charges.
Get used to the mother not treating you like an equal parent. Get used to the courts, the schools, the doctors, etc., not treating you like an equal parent. And get used to insisting that they change their attitudes, starting by considering yourself an equal parent.

[bryan47805]

Tbyte I understand now about keeping clothes at my house but it is the law she has to send them. And I don't think of the clothes as mine or hers they are the kids clothes. They should have the clothes they want wherever they are and if that means packing them that's what they will do. And if I didn't send them they wouldn't have any. My son has not got any clothes from his mother. Everything he has is from me. Why should I let him go naked at his moms. That makes me just as bad as her. I don't mind paying for anything they need I will always pay no matter what but where is my child support going. I'm not mad at you and what you say in a way is right but I went into this trying to do right by the kids and got screwed by the ex. I get yelled at for droping off a lunch box my daughter called and asked for. They are not taking baths because the tub won't drain and all they get is a hair wash in the sink once a week till they get to my house. This isn't right the kids didn't do anything wrong and they don't deserve to be without clothes or a bath. They are the victoms in this not me that's why I'm upset

[tbyte]

Trust me. I have been doing 50/50 parenting for several years.
Having complete sets of clothes at both houses will make your life MUCH easier.
No hectic packing. No frantic last night washing and drying. And of course, one less thing to cause bitterness between you and their mother.
As long as they have to pack to come to your house, they will always be living with mom and visiting you.
I'm not sure what to tell you about her preventing the children from having any contact with you while they are at her house, except the this is due to bitterness and vengefulness and your children WILL clue into this. In the long run, the mother is shooting herself in the foot. Your response should be to go out of your way to ensure that your children can contact their mother ANY time they are at your house. Encourage them to.
Likewise, their little you can do about the hygiene situation at mom's house except set a higher standard at your house. Either their mother will clue in to the fact that she is falling behind in the parenting department, or when the children are a little older they may express a desire to live primarily with you.
See what I'm saying? Boiled down, your strategy here is simply to be the responsible adult who loves his kids. A guaranteed win.

[lori509]

foremost I dug your response tbyte and it was honest so I won't rehash any of that. Except to say tbyte is right get some clothes, toys etc... at your home.

Okay but if I hear your correctly your talking what you feel is neglect? Correct? It's not really uncommon for the non-custodial parent to feel that the custodial parent is neglectful in some way. I mean truth be told we all feel on some level that "I" can take better care of "my" most valuable asset (i.e. your child)

But the truth is one is wiping the nose, working thru the chickenpox, etc... and the other one gets to play the "good" parent by taking them out to Mickey-D's every other week.

If your X is truly neglecting your child other agencies will get wind of it and trust me the courts listen to them quicker then the non-custodial parent.

[Gbyte]

And here's another parent freaking about not wearing underwear. It's not life or death.

Pick your battles wisely. Underwear is not a wise one.

[tbyte]

A parent failing to ensure that children are properly dressed (and yes, wearing underwear is important), may very well be an indicator of neglect in other areas.