Missouri Child Support Arrears

My question involves child support in the State of: Missouri

Ok here's my situation. I have a daughter that lives with her mother who wants nothing to do with me (the mother doesn't). 10 years ago when the original child support order was established I made the first payment to the state and she sent it back to me stating she wanted nothing to do with me at all no money nothing. Coming from a family of divorce myself in which both my parents used me and my brother as weapons against the other I wanted to be no part of causing that type of situation with a child so I agreed but she would have to go to the Department of Social Services (DSS) and take care of it. She sent a letter that I do not have a copy of to the DSS and I no longer received anything from them. Now 10 years later I receive a letter from the DSS that says I need to start paying child support (no biggie if my girl needs it I will pay). The next day I receive a letter saying I owe 32k in arrears for these past 10 years. I call the DSS and the lady told me that the original child support order enforcement was stopped in 2002 and that is was administrative and not judicial so the arrears should not be there as no money is owed to the state because she was never on any public aid. She sent information about this off to their Division of Enforcement. Their reply was that the letter she (the mother) sent to the DSS was that she did not want the support enforced but she never stated that she did not want the money so the arrears accumulated.

Ok my 3 questions:
1) I have requested a copy of the letter that the mother sent to DSS. Do they have to send me a copy of it?

2) Do I have any legal grounds to dispute the arrears based on the letter if no money is owed to the state?

3) I would like to at least know my daughter and if she insists on child support I would like to at least get some visitation. Even if 1 week in the summer just so she at least knows who I am. If the arrears are established as accurate would I still have grounds to attempt a minor

[tbyte]

1) If they have the letter, I don't see why they would not send you a copy. But if they refuse, you can try citing the letter as evidence and have the court order them to send you a copy.

2) Maybe. Depends on how much sympathy you can garner with the court, which I am thinking is going to be very little.

3) Child support is not a utility service, like cable TV. It is an obligation. 10 years ago you decided you would rather save money than be a father to your daughter, but now that it looks like you are going to have to provide support anyway you think you are owed a relationship with your child?
Doesn't work that way.

[Gbyte]

Nicely put!

Update: Just found out from the Department of Social Services (DSS) that arrears are something entitled to the mother despite whether she wants them or not. No biggie I don't have a problem with that. My primary concern was the fact that because of the amount of arrears felony charges could be brought. A lady at the Division of Support Enforcement informed me that charges are only brought against those that have tried to hide from the collection of support and try to mislead the DSS with income or other means. Which in my case is not the issue so as long as I make my monthly payments like I should and "even if its 5 or 10 dollars towards the arrears", as she put it, then there will not be a problem.

Also I found out something in response to this:

quoted from tbyte "3) Child support is not a utility service, like cable TV. It is an obligation. 10 years ago you decided you would rather save money than be a father to your daughter, but now that it looks like you are going to have to provide support anyway you think you are owed a relationship with your child? Doesn't work that way."

As you are a moderator of these boards I would expect some intelligence from those in charge. Giving misleading information to those looking for help/advice is not something that someone in your position should be doing. Through research I have found that support and visitation are to remain two completely different issues and that judges themselves that try to use support as an issue to limit/deny visitation can have criminal charges brought against them. I found this by simply reading statutes and researching websites designed to help you study for the Bar Exam. Next time try not to be so quick to judge and before you "think" your giving advice maybe you should actually know what your talking about first.

[Gbyte]

As far as tbyte's number 3. No...it wasn't legal advice. You asked to get some visitation now since you were going to have to pay child support. Now...all of the sudden, you want to be in your childs life. tbyte was totally justified in his response. He's not a lawyer, he's a father.

Legally, yes, you can petition the court for visitation.

For one of the VERY few times, I totally agree with tbytes handling of this.

[tbyte]

First, as a moderator I am not "in charge". Pretty much, I just delete spam.
Second, nothing in my statement was in contradiction to the principle that child support and visitation are two separate legal issues, of which I am very much aware, thank you. In fact, what I said complete supports this standard.
The information I give is not misleading. Whether you can understand it or not is also a "separate issue".

I think everyone needs to stop being so accusative. The man wants to see his child, he has that right, he just needs to see an attorney. Unfortunately, they ask for a good size retainer in child custody cases.

I am a divorced and remarried mother who does receive child support and I believe you should be able to visit your child. My husband has to pay child support for two children whose mother will not comply with the court ordered visitation. He got behind on support so she had him arrested. Yet we have not seen his daughters for 2 and a half years because she won't comply with visitation. We did not petition against her, yet she continues to be vindictive.

No matter how much I hate my ex, I love my children too much to deny them their father. Too many women take advantage of the child support laws and manipulate the system. I think they deserve to do some time.