interference with relationship/non-fostering

[losing1]

Been seven years since the divorce. Have 2 children. Ages 11 and 8. Since the divorce. My ex has not allowed 1 extra minute of visitation time, nor followed our divorce decree, by consulting with me first when it came to any non-emergency, school or daycare that needed to be giving to the children. My ex has taken me to court approx 8 time since then, just for silly things like my son riding on a snowmobile or just because for that matter. In the last 7 years I have seen my children suffer from her keeping me out of their lives. I moved back to the town where my son started going to school, my ex then proceeded to pull him out of that school and entered him into a private school in a different town. She then convinced the school she was the sole custodian of the said children and I was not allowed or given any information as to how they were doing or what they were doing. I was never allowed to attend any after school activities. I had repeatedly contacted the school, showing them that I had the rights to any records. When I was present they agreed, but as soon as I pulled out, they forgot. During that last three years, I have repeatedly tried to go that extra mile to contact the children. All I would get would be a voice mail on her phone. Thanx to the great caller ID. I have boughten the children cell phones, to just have them unused by the children because the ex turns them off. I have set up e-mail accounts. She hovers over then while on computer, so they don't get mine and I don't get any from them. The ex continually bashes me in front of them. Tells the children NO, when they want to call me. And she tells them she doesn't want me to call them. My children don't even want to go back to her when my visitation is over because of her constant bombardment of questions after questions. It was towards the last part of school last year that my ex started giving my son ritatlin. About the last 4 weeks of school. I has a fit. Told her he didn't need it. Got a copy of the pediatricians medical records. She had told the doctor that she was having difficulty with him. But told me it was for school. My son is a straight A student. My daughter is now in the second grade. The school and Ex kept the report cards from me. My daughter failed reading and writing. But with my constant questioning as to why my daughter was in a afterschool spanish class, when she couldn't even understand the english languish first. I got no response. Now in second grade. Is in a special needs class and still can't read and is still in the afterschool spanish class. I have come to the conclusion she puts my daughter and son in there is so I get the children later on my visitation days. So instead of getting them at 3, I have to wait until 6. Last week, it was 23 decrees out and my son shows up with a coat that won't zip up. I pay her 1200 per month in support. She continually gets handme downs and never wears the same thing twice for herself. I bought my son a new coat because of that. When I went to drop off the kids, she saw that our son was in a new one had a fit. My son told me the other day, that when they got home, she took it off him and threw it into the basement along with the other stuff that came from me, and yelled and screamed about me getting him a jacket. Besides she makes me get the children their own clothes when they are with me. I'm at the point of taking her back for custody of the children. I have never seen someone so hostile for soooo long.

[Gbyte]

File for contempt of court. Sounds like you'd have proof of that.

You need to get an attorney for sure! She sounds like a real "piece of work". Sounds like my ex. Only in my case I'm the custodial parent currently.

Could you offer to get a tutor for your daughter?
(That's just a single suggestion to try and get a handle on her education right away).

[tbyte]

No, take her back to court for custody.
Argue Parental Alienation, and find an attorney who has experience with this issue.

[Gbyte]

contempt would be a STARTING point I would think. This would show he tried to get help to get her to abide by the custody agreement.

[losing1]

Originally Posted by Gbyte contempt would be a STARTING point I would think. This would show he tried to get help to get her to abide by the custody agreement.

Thank you for responding back. When I found out about my daughter failing in her reading, I mentioned taking her to huntington learning center for tutoring. The ex didn't want me involved. So she made arrangements to have my daughter tutored by her first grade teacher. The person who couldn't help our dughter while she was in class. Now if you onlu knew my ex. She found out I was moving back to the town my kids were going to school at and the ex then wanted to move to florida from new york. She filed false alegations of sexual assult on my girlfriends son in hopes it would help her get the move away case approved. She is a sneaky backstabber

[Gbyte]

Originally Posted by losing1 She filed false alegations of sexual assult on my girlfriends son in hopes it would help her get the move away case approved. She is a sneaky backstabber

She may be...but IF she believes it to be true and IF it could have happened, I'm guessing the son wouldn't own up to it. My point - keep a close eye. Don't give her even the slightest chance of further charges. Never let them in the same room alone...at ALL. Just to be sure.

On the tutoring, might she have been afraid she'd have to pay part of the tutoring and went the "cheaper" route? Even when a parent promises to cover an expense that doesn't always mean they won't come back later or have a court order that the other parent must reimburse. Maybe one on one will be better with this teacher than the classroom setting was. Just playing devils advocate here. While she may be a royal B***H, there may be explanations for at least SOME of her actions. Surely not all. Just food for thought.

I'm assuming she didn't get the right to move away? Or is it still in process?

[losing1]

As far as the quote from tbyte, I do plan on using parental alienation for the custody claim. Also trying to dig up some info about HAP (Hostile agressive parenting). The only problem, there seems to be more info about it in Canada. I talked to my lawyer about it. And she is not up to par about the info. Or I just need a better attorney for that matter. Well, either way I approach it, this is New York State we are dealing with. They have a record of being mother biased.

I do watch everything I do or even say for that matter. I make it a practice to just focus on the kids when they are with me, and say nothing about their mother. It is my son that brings things up. All I say to him is just remember everything that happens. He already has figured out that she has and is trying to brainwash them.

I Getting back to the failing of my daughters reading and writing class. In our divorce papers, it states we are responsible for 50 percent of any claims. Between what my ex makes and myselft, we do ok and should be able to afford the tutoring from an outside source that specializes in this matter. Once again, if I am involved in it, or should I say if I try to be involved in it, then it is no deal. It is her say and her way.

The part about the false allegations. I know my ex girlfriends son didn't lay a hand on my daughter. I never let anyone take care of her while she was on my visitation weekend. I assumed every responsibility for caring for our children. Besides. My ex has a problem with leaving my daughter in the bathtub for extended times while she went off to do her thing. I researched the childrens medical records. My daughter had a dozen cases of yeast infection that she was seen for at the pediatrician office. It was when she wanted to move that all of a sudden a yeast infection turned to sexual abuse. Somewhat getting the jist of it? When I got a copy of the medical record for my daughter. The pediatricians office had put a post it note about possible sexual abuse over the section that had something about a yeast infection that our daughter had. So when I got the copy of the one that had the post it on it, I went back to get the copy of the page with out it. Low and behold, they tried to cover the yeast infection part up. Besides CPS interviewed every person that the children had any contact with, including all the children. The only person that said anything about it was my EX. My daughter said nothing. What could she say. I was one that gave her baths and changed her. She was just trying to get something to help her out.

The attempt to move away was 4.5 years ago. I wouldn't let it happen. She just came up with some silly excuses to move away and take the kids. The only thing she had going for her in Fl was her 70's plus parents. Rest of the family is here in CNY. She claimed that she never spoke with her family members, bla bla bla. Now you can't get her away from them. That way the kids go over there and she doesn't have to watch them. The kids cousins keep them busy.

[tbyte]

Originally Posted by losing1 She filed false alegations of sexual assult on my girlfriends son in hopes it would help her get the move away case approved.

Originally Posted by Gbyte She may be...but IF she believes it to be true and IF it could have happened, I'm guessing the son wouldn't own up to it. My point - keep a close eye. Don't give her even the slightest chance of further charges. Never let them in the same room alone...at ALL. Just to be sure.

Uh...NO.
You do not let this woman manipulate your life or tell you who your child can or cannot spend time with based upon her fanciful allegations.
Not unless she is prepared to let you dictate who your son can spend time with when in her care.