custody

i have been divorced since 2000 my ex has our 10yr old son living with him. the divorce agreement says i have access from sat 630 pm till sun at 6pm but for the past 4yrs i have had access to him from sat 630pm till tuesday at 830am. but i am still paying full child support... can this be changed... also my child support agreement was payment on 30000 a yr and now i make 32000 a yr. also i have asked her if she could work with me on being consistant with rules in regaurds to the two houses so things are the same at both houses.... when i approched her today she tells me he does what ever she wants him to do at her house and i have no say in the matter. is this legal!! thats my son and if i dont want him doing something that i feel is morally wrong, or ethically wrong, cant i interveen and do something about it?? also how hard will my fight be if i want to go for custody of my son? is it worth the fight? or do i bite my tongue untill he is 12 then go to the courts on custody? any help would be much appriciated

Unless you have a court order defining the conditions etc., you control what happens at your house and she makes the rules at her house...

im tryng to get help im in a custody battle my ex droped my 2 children off july 1 2006 and left child welfare became invoved due to my ex vebally abusing the kids the year that he had them and he refuses to sighn the day to day care over and hasnt paid child support either in that time and says he wont. hes made no attempt to contact them . unless they call him and its usually breif.i have a legal aid lawyer .she hasnt done a thing for my case never calls me or returns my calls.ive talked to her maybe 4 or 5 times. im fed up and want some action now.please can i get some help on what to do. my ex is very controlling and manipulative he is verbally abusive to me i want to end this once and for all for my kids and my peice of mind.

Many people go in front of the judge without counsel and outline the problem and request custody--if you have to, you could do that.

keep a detailed journal of everything, times & dates you have you child/ren, conversations with the other parent, this may come in handy in later court hearings. also, if you have your child/ren for more than is on your current custody order and on your child support order, you may be able to get your support reduced depending on if your income or your ex's income has changed. also, since you seem to already have your child/ren 50% of the time, i would file to modify the current custody order to get either 50/50 custody or go for the primary custody allowing your ex to have the visits instead. As of now, since you have visitation time with your child, you may be able to claim them on your tax return every other year, this needs to be court ordered. you should call an attorney to see if you can claim your child on your tax return in your state.