Change of custody

I have joint legal and physical custody of my 11 year old son. His mother is going through a divorce and has a total of 5 kids. I recently found out she had been leaving the kids alone at night to go out with some guy and staying until late at night with my son and his sister taking care of 3 younger kids. My sons grades are suffering because she will not make sure homework is done or anything gets done around the house. My son decided he wanted to move in with me and my wife and told his mother. She refuses to discuss with me anything about the situation. She is about to lose her house and car because she refuses to get a job. She can not move in with her mother because Children's Services ordered that her brother could not be around my son after being arrested for beating on him. Because of having joint physical custody, wondering if I had to have an attorney to modify the "visitation" schedule and if anyone had any advise other than being nice to his mother.

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Try to "modify" yourself for now. Ask to pick him up from school. Let her know you're always available to "babysit" if she needs it. Don't say "when you go out drinking you could call me instead of ......." Say, hey, if you ever need a babysitter you can give me a call. Anytime.

Start with that.

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If the situation becomes bad enough you can file a motion with the court citing a change in the circumstances affecting the child and asking for temporary custody or primary residential parent status.