Visitation Rights: My ex husband won't let my son even spend the night.

I am a non-custodial parent of a 7 year old and his father of course has custody of him. My ex -husband lives has his mother keep my son (or should I say raise my son) He doesnt live with her but uses her address for mail and I recently have been petitioned with a wage assignment for child support, which is okay with me -- i will take care of my son\'s needs. I just want parental visitation. He repeatedly ignores my phone calls when I try to contact him for visitation arrangements. I have gotten remarried and my ex husband won\'t let my son even spend the night. Much less me see my son.

Please help me.

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Is there a visitation agreement in place now? Through the courts?

Yes, but my ex screen his phone calls when I try to make contact for visitation arrangements and there is always an excuse with extra curricular activities

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If there are specific times in the agreement, then you don't need to make "arrangements".

Call - just as a courtesy, tell him or leave a message that you will be at the address as listed as his home at such and such time to pick up your child. If he is not there, he will be in contempt of court. Then GO. If your ex replies that your child will be busy somewhere, say you will take your parenting time at that time and meet him there. Don't accept excuses...don't use excuses.

Take your custody papers with you. Call the police if he refuses to follow the custody orders.

Take him back to court if there is an order for visitation. Whay werent you granted custody? Maybe is concerned for the childs safety with you

What about well being for the child also? I have concerns that he doesn't always get a hot meal... that it is always fast food when he is with his father or his grandmother and I feel that his personal hygiene is an issue also.
I always request him to take a shower as soon as I have him; because no one else is taking the time to do that for him and he always has on dirty clothes. As a mother, I have a great concern with this issue. What do I do ? or how do I handle this? Do I need to voice this to DHS? And his father doesnt cook meals because he does'nt have a refrigerator--
I am very concernd ... Hep me

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Well, I don't cook either but I DO have a refridgerator. ) Only a slight exageration there.

Why was the custody arrangement decided the way it was? If there has been a significant change of circumstances, you may be able to go back to court and have custody changed.

at the time; I was not acting like a parent should and I would leave for a few days at at time and then return home. But since then, I have turned my life totally around I attend church regularly and I have since re-married. and I am totally a different person.FOR The GOOD!! So at the same time, I am greatful for the little time I get to spend with my child that I get... but my divorce papers state the times I am suppose to see him and I am not thoroughly getting my visitation... I am serously considering mediation and I am very worried of his well being such as hygiene and being taken care of in other ways a parent should be
-- What is can I do? I can't really afford a lawyer - has does Legal Aid work?

thanks, Concerned non-custodial parent in TN

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The best advice I can give is to contact your local battered womens shelter and ask for a referal to a legal service for mothers in custody cases.

Take the time you get. BE there when stated in your papers. Bring the police to show he is refusing court ordered visits.

You seem to state he doesn't live with his mother but says he does and that your child does. Would his mothers neighbors now? Do you know where he lives? Or did I misunderstand?

The child is suppose to be living with him; but I believe he lives with my ex husbands mom (the grandmother) for the purpose of going to school. My ex does not live with her- he lives at another residence and yes I do know where that is ... She doesn't really want me coming to her house or calling her residence. which is also impeding my visitation ...
thanks for all of your help....
Am I thinking right? by going to mediation ?